Monday, January 16, 2017

Self-love & friendships

Last week we talked a bit about self-love. It occurs to me that one of the ways that we engage in self-love is to surround ourselves with good friends—people who sincerely care about us and wish for our good.

A word I've heard in the last couple years is "frenemies." It combines the word "friend" with "enemy," and it's a friend who actually takes pleasure in your pain and doesn't really want good things for you. It doesn't matter why that is, whether it's jealousy or narcissism or whatever. Such people hurt you over and over. They simply aren't good for you.

It's a bit difficult if such a person is a close family member. If that is the case, perhaps the best you can do is maintain solid boundaries on what behavior you will and will not accept—and on how much time you will be in that person's presence.

If this is a friend, however, you may want to think seriously about letting the friendship go. Truly, you deserve to have friends who support your well-being. You will love and respect yourself when you do not accept behavior that hurts you over and over. Surround yourself with friends who love and support you just as you love and support them. We want our relationships to be healthy and loving. They should not tear us down. Other forces in the world do plenty of that. We don't need frenemies to help!