Monday, November 18, 2013

Welcome your tears

Tears. Are you afraid of them? Do you cry easily? Or not so often anymore? Are you embarrassed by your tears? Or do you wish you could cry more often?

I often hear it said that tears soften our hearts—our griefs soften us and make us more flexible. Or as poet Mark Nepo says, "The live bough bends. The dead twig snaps."

Tears are healing. Tears put us in touch with our humanity, vulnerability and compassion. That should be a good thing, right?

Although there are always exceptions to any rule, women tend to cry more easily and often than men. Perhaps it would be better for men if they could cry more easily. I've often thought it unfair that the "approved" emotion for men is anger and for women, sadness. It seems healthier that both genders are allowed the full range of emotions.

I used to cry quite easily; but it seems as I age, I cry less frequently. I don't know whether it's part of the aging process or simply a result of my having to be tough so I could survive divorce, work in a patriarchal and hierarchical workplace and ultimately, my job loss. However, I do believe that I am softened and more in touch with my vulnerable Sonia when I allow myself to feel my sadness and actually grieve even the small losses in my life. I see it as part of my journey to my true self—and as I've said here before, part of my attempt to access not just the strong Sonia but the vulnerable one as well.

I'm all for tears if they lead me to my compassion and vulnerability. What about you?

No comments:

Post a Comment