Tuesday, January 7, 2014

A coin has two sides

Things aren't always what they appear to be, are they? And often, there's a flip side to everything as well. I've mentioned before in my blogs that my being intuitive and sensitive to what others are feeling has its flip side of me being sensitive to what others say and think about me, too.

Lately I've done lots of thinking about my desire to be more vulnerable as I age. I realize that what has served me well for so many years of living alone and for all the years that I worked in a patriarchal workplace really doesn't serve me well at all in my attempts to live in a more wholistic way. What do I mean by that?

After my divorce, I learned to be fairly self-sufficient. I had to. My workplace honed that to a fine skill. And I was proud of that self-sufficiency, for good or ill. Mostly, it was good, I think. But now I realize to a much greater degree how important it is to rely on others. I believe that we all are made for connection—and are at our best when we employ (and enjoy) the give-and-take of relationships with others. That means I not only give to others; I need to learn to receive from them, too. That means I don't always have to be in "leap-tall-building" mode. It means I can be open, at least with some of the people close to me, about my struggles as well as my strengths. I can actually admit to struggles and not feel like a failure. As a recovering perfectionist, that's not easy. But, oh, I think it's definitely worth working on. I see some transformation ahead! It's all about being more authentic and real.

What in your life has a flip side that could use some examination? Or some tweaking? 

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