Monday, July 2, 2018

Regaining balance

 My sister and I have been battling since last fall with a financial institution over a long-term care insurance claim for a family member who has dementia. The first two attempts at a claim were denied on the basis of this not being a "chronic illness"!! Seriously. We were not about to give up, however, since the contract clearly stated that assisted living costs were covered for "cognitive impairment," which dementia certainly is. Sorry, folks, but it is chronic.

We provided all manner of proof—doctor's statements, neurologist reports, results from a battery of neuropsych tests, a care plan by the assisted living facility stating all the staff needed to do to assist with daily living, etc. By the third time we made the claim, we even involved a lawyer. Even so, we had to wait for nearly 3 months to finally receive notice that the claim was accepted. Not only did the company finally agree to pay but, per our request (though we dared not hope for this), made it retroactive to the time of our first claim.

So let's hear it for tenacity and persistence. That said, however, I was reminded a few days ago by a care practitioner that when we have fought so long for something, it's difficult to let go and get out of the "fight or flight" mode. I am definitely learning that. I celebrate this win and at the same time, I am still feeling that sense of high alert. This practitioner said it can take a while to reach homeostasis after such a long struggle. That was a good reminder.

If you have some ongoing stressful situation that's required you to struggle for something or against something, just remember this. Don't think something is wrong with you if you can't immediately let go of the situation. Take some deep breaths ... and slowly, let your body and mind relax again. You will regain your balance. It just takes time. And it does help to talk about it with others. Please contact me if you need to discuss this type of thing with someone.

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