So much of life is a balancing act, isn't it? It's both/and and not either/or.
I was reminded of that again yesterday when I read in one of my favorite daily readings: "Rejection and opposition are painful, but being treated as if you don't exist is quietly devastating." Further on in the paragraph, I read, "Somehow our need for love gives tremendous power to the opinions of others, and so, we are required to guard against turning our lives over to the expectations of others." How true.
Yes, we do want and need the love of others. Sometimes that takes us places we don't want or need to go, though. I've heard people talk about twisting themselves into pretzel shapes just to please someone they love. No, we should not need to do that.
Yes, we do need love. And we also need to live our lives according to our own values, desires and gifts—not trying to simply meet the expectations of others. Sometimes those become competing forces. We need to find the point on the continuum where we can hold both things in balance: our need for love and our own expectations.