Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Losses can pile up

Have you ever experienced grief that you thought was out of proportion to the loss you suffered? It's not that we can measure such a thing: For this particular loss, you should grieve xx number of days; and for that loss, you should grieve this long.

However, what can happen sometimes is that we are brought to our knees with grief over something we didn't experience as the biggest loss of our lives. I've surely had that happen, and I have friends and clients who have, too. It can take us by surprise.

Most often, it's because of unacknowledged past losses—things we haven't stopped to grieve before but that have just gotten deeply buried inside us. The day will come when that loss will come up from the deep and make itself felt when we're in the midst of grieving something else. Losses can pile up on us in that way.

That's why it's important to acknowledge losses as they happen. And it's worth noting that death isn't the only loss we need to grieve. We experience all manner of losses: friendships, job, career disappointments and lost opportunities, dreams, pets, independence as we age and lose some of our abilities, children moving far away, knowing expectations won't be met, and so many more. Take the time to acknowledge and grieve such things so that you can stay cleared-out and open-hearted.

If this is something you'd like to discuss, please contact me.

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