Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Grief is as individual as a fingerprint

Yesterday we talked about grief and how losses can add up and hit us with a real whammy.

Today I'd like you to think about just how you grieve all the losses, large and small, in your life. Different types of loss require different approaches. And each person has a different style, which can change from situation to situation, too.

I don't know whether you've ever read the book Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert, Chuck DeKlyen and Taylor Bills; but I highly recommend it. As that book talks about loss, grief and healing, it makes the point that we each will have our own soup recipe, filling the pot with tears, feelings, memories, misgivings and more. My soup won't taste like yours. Your soup will take a different amount of time to cook than mine. It's an individual process, one not to be judged by anyone else.

The important thing is to tend to your grief. Don't stuff it down. It will come out in all sorts of ways anyway. And as we said yesterday, it can pile up and hit you with a vengeance much later if you ignore it.

When you do the work that your particular circumstance requires, you can more quickly move on to a healthy, happy life again. Take your time, though. Your tear soup is your tear soup—and you don't need to follow anyone else's recipe or timeline!

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