If you haven't engaged in "victim thinking" yourself, I'm sure you have heard friends or acquaintances do so. Every one of us no doubt has a story or stories about things that have happened to us where we've felt like a victim or been a victim. Of course, we talk about such things with others. There is nothing wrong with telling someone about what happened. That's one thing.
It's quite another thing to keep living in that victim mentality, however. You can tell the story. Or you can make it your story—and keep telling and retelling so that this is how you see yourself eventually.
Here's what medical anthropologist Alberto Villoldo says about that, "Although the mind resists it, the fact is that, like me, you have a choice between having the life you want or the reasons why you can't. You can luxuriate in joy and peace, or you can continually be burdened by that big black bag full of all the sorrowful incidents and accidents that happened to you in your childhood or last relationship. You can endure your wounds or you can enjoy your glory. You can live the life of a victim, burdened by the traumas of your past, or you can live the life of a hero; but you can't do both."
That's pretty direct. And it's true. You and I do have a choice: Victim or hero? What's it going to be? How will you tell your life story? Where is your focus? You can choose between having the life you want or dwelling on the reasons why you can't have it.
If you'd like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary, no-obligation strategy session.
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