Accentuate the positive

So on Wednesday I talked about committing to writing and mailing a thank-you note to someone each day for 30 days. I haven't started yet but I do want to try this. I know it will be good for my attitude!

That brings me to my Thimble List, which I noticed pinned to my office wall. It's been there for a while, but I must confess that I hadn't read it over for some time.

Do you know what a Thimble List is? It's different from a Bucket List (those big-ticket items you want to do before you die). A Thimble List is a list of very small ways to savor life.

Anyway, one of the items I have on mine is: Give at least one compliment each day to someone.

That seems to go hand-in-hand with the idea of a thank-you note to someone each day. It's the idea of noticing the good things others do, isn't it? Complimenting them. Thanking them. It's all about putting good energy out into the atmosphere. It's about building each other up. And it's all about shifting our focus to the good in the world rather than always focusing on the negative things (and there are plenty of those without training our focus on them!).

I've decided it's time to get back to my Thimble List, particularly the compliment-a-day item. What might you put on your Thimble List?

Compliment or criticism?

So many of my clients have dealt with low self-esteem. Most of us as women have struggled with it at one time or another—or perhaps even all through the years. There's a lot of it going around.

Because of that, I think it's really important to be careful with our words and messages to one another lest we do more damage. It doesn't cost us any more to give a compliment than a criticism, but it can change everything: the atmosphere around us, the other person's self-esteem, and our own frame of mind.

A study was done in Iowa with graduate students following a 2-year-old throughout the day. The child was told what not to do 432 times as opposed to 32 positive acknowledgements. And it's said that the national average of parent-to-child criticisms is 12 to 1 (12 criticisms and 1 compliment). That doesn't speak well for us, does it?

Perhaps it might be good for each of us to really take notice during an ordinary day to see how often we give out compliments, encouragements and positive messages versus criticisms and negative messages. We won't make any changes until we start to notice our behavior. We just might be surprised by what we see.