Food obsession: Two sides

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of the MSNBC "Morning Joe" show, has just written a new book titled Obsessed: America's Food Addiction—and My Own. It was just released this week. I heard Brzezinski talk earlier this week, together with her co-author and friend Diane Smith, about our struggles with food issues in America—and about her own "disordered eating patterns," as she calls them. We women are especially prone to food issues since there's so much pressure on us to have slender, beautiful bodies.

Smith and Brzezinski talked about coming from different ends of the weight spectrum: Brzezinski has done awful things to her body to maintain low weight, and Smith had let her weight get away from her. After a particularly honest and raw conversation one day, they agreed to work together on their own weight and food issues—and to write a book in the process. Smith would lose 70 pounds (more as it turned out), and Brzezinski would gain 10 or more pounds and try to be OK with a larger dress size.

The book chronicles their journey to these goals and what they learned in the process. It is a reminder to me that there are two sides to a coin. When a person is thin, you and I should not assume they have no food or weight issues. And when someone is overweight, we also should not assume they are lazy and undisciplined. Here's where we can really encourage one another, no matter where we fall on the eating or weight continuum. Skinny women aren't the enemies of overweight ones. Or vice versa.

It's important to refrain from judgment, either toward ourselves or others. If you struggle with food and weight issues and want to make some changes, consider finding a friend to set goals with you. A year ago a friend and I joined Weight Watchers together. We've commiserated and also encouraged each other. As a result, we've each lost some 25 to 30 pounds. It helps to have that support!

And, as always, if you would like some coaching around this issue, please do contact me. Remember, I always offer a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session first.

Dress size, diets, exercise & all that jazz

This is the time of year when millions are thinking about diets, losing weight, exercise regimens—and, oh, yes, dress size. Have you vowed that you absolutely, positively are not going to buy the next size of clothes? You are determined that you'll lose weight this time. And keep it off.

I have been there and done that so many times. Honestly, I don't even want to know how many pounds I've gained, lost, regained, and lost again through the years. I don't want to know. And I don't want to dwell on it. I have beat myself up mentally through the years because of it. I'm not going to do that anymore.

For one thing, I am not thinking about dieting any longer. Instead, I am thinking of eating in a healthy and sustainable way for the rest of my life. Several months ago I returned to Weight Watchers where I am learning to eat in a way that still allows me to have those foods (and wine) that I enjoy, with occasional special treats—and in a way that gives me more energy and makes me feel healthier. I had even been a lifetime member years ago, but I didn't see those food choices as a lifetime choice. Big mistake. Since last April I have lost the weight I wanted (even more, in fact) and I want to keep it this way. I got rid of all the clothes that were too large so going back into them wouldn't even be an option.

It doesn't have to be Weight Watchers. It can be any eating plan that encourages portion control and healthy eating—but doesn't deprive you of things you enjoy. If you feel deprived, soon enough you'll move on and leave that food plan behind. And put that lost weight (and more) back on again.

Perhaps food isn't your issue. It may be something else in your life for which you need to develop a sustainable plan that takes into account how you operate, what you like and don't like. Whatever it is, I encourage you to create a plan that works for you, not a one-size-fits-all plan. Work with what you've got and with your likes and dislikes. Be good to yourself. And believe in yourself!

Does size matter?

Are you obsessing on your body weight or self-image now that we’ve begun a new year? So many women are.

I confess that my Christmas indulgences (oh, those sweets were delicious!) are coming back to haunt me right now. And I am hearing the same messages you are about going on a diet, starting a Weight Watchers program or ordering NutriSystem.

It’s all making me wonder whether we can have a healthy self-image no matter what our dress or pants size. Does size really matter? Can you maintain your self-confidence no matter what the scale says?

Healthy or sexy?
We women get so many media messages about being svelte and sexy. It’s all a bit overwhelming at times.

We also receive media messages about being healthy—about eating well, exercising and getting enough sleep.

Have you decided where you fall on the continuum with good health at one end and having a model’s figure on the other? You can be healthy even though you have a larger dress or pants size than you’d like. And being a size 6 doesn’t necessarily mean you are in good health.

I encourage you to try clear out all society’s messages, all the ads and media messages that tell us (subtly, of course) that we aren’t lovable or won’t be happy if we aren’t size 6 (or less!) or 100 pounds dripping wet. Consider what it takes to make you feel your best. What foods make you feel good? What amount and type of exercise is best for you? What do you need to feel great about yourself? What would it take to feel healthy and energetic?

I’d love to hear your ideas on this. What are you doing to create a healthy self-image? Please share your comments and tips so we can all be inspired.