Take charge of emotional eating

On Wednesday I talked about emotional eating—and about the idea of being comfortable with some discomfort. For example, if we're sad, we might reach for our favorite food (cookies, chips, chocolate or whatever is our go-to food). Or if we're anxious or bored, the same is true. "Maybe I'll feel better if I have some chocolate!"

Even when we are happy, we might think we should celebrate with a favorite snack. "I deserve it!"

So a recent issue of WeightWatchers magazine gave 5 tips on how to take charge of emotional eating:

• Figure out what you're feeling.
• Practice putting space between thoughts and actions. (See if you can hold off 5 minutes, for example. That time just might mean you'll have moved on and not feel the desire anymore.)
• Take a long, slow inhale. (People often encourage us to take "deep breaths" for a reason.)
• Mind your thoughts. (Remind yourself they're just words, simply fleeting experiences.)
• Keep some distance. In other words, don't identify with the thoughts. Remind yourself that you are not your thoughts. You have the thoughts.

Get comfortable with discomfort

I really enjoy food—different flavors, textures, colors and cuisines. At the same time, I try to eat in a healthy fashion and keep my weight within reasonable bounds. That said, I do at times engage in what's called "emotional eating." It doesn't matter whether I'm sad or whether I'm happy. Sometimes food is either for comfort or for celebration. Have you ever done that?

I remember years ago at Weight Watchers hearing the phrase, "Feel your feelings. Don't feed them." That makes sense. Even so, many of us have learned somewhere along the line to turn to food for a variety of emotions. In fact, I read in a recent issue of WeightWatchers magazine that research shows that more than half the people who are overweight are regularly affected by emotional eating.

The suggestion in that issue was rather than play mind games to get past emotional eating, instead to learn to live with uncomfortable emotions. As I think about that, it makes a good deal of sense. I often tell clients (and myself) to learn to be comfortable with discomfort from time to time. This can apply to transition periods between careers or between relationships. Anytime we leave a comfortable spot and move into something new, we may spend some time in that neutral ground or transition time that causes anxiety.

Instead of giving in to the anxiety, we can see what we might learn from it. So it is with those emotions that can lead us to grab for our favorite foods, too: Ask what the feelings might have to teach you. Ask what values might be under threat. You just might learn something new about what's important to you. And then you can make different choices than you might have by simply reacting to the feelings.

I plan to try this myself. We'll have to return to this at another time and see how it works. I'd love to hear from you if you try a new approach, too.

Healthy choices—it's up to you

Lots of discussion has erupted since the World Health Organization announced its findings that bacon, sausage and other processed meats cause cancer—and that red meat likely does as well. The 22-member panel of experts wasn't in total agreement. And, of course, the U.S. beef industry is preparing a response. Consumers have been arguing both sides of the coin, too.

Do you immediately change your eating or lifestyle habits based on reports and survey results? Or are you a wait-and-see type of person? Or a moderation-in-all-things person? Or do you ignore such reports altogether?

It's always fascinating to see how different personalities react to such information. I don't know that there's any right or wrong. Each one of us has to decide what, if anything, we'll do with new research findings such as this.

For me, personally, I take a moderation-in-all-things approach. I enjoy certain foods and would rather cut back on them than to cut them out altogether. That's just me. When butter was "out," I simply used less of it. Now, butter is OK and margarine isn't. For a while, we were told to cut out caffeine. I just cut back on the coffee I drank. Now coffee is good. Same with wine. And chocolate. Perhaps that's why I go with moderation.

The whole point, however, really is that you and I have choices. Whether it's diet, exercise, lifestyle, vocation, hobbies, friendships, life partners—whatever it is. You do have choices!



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Food obsession: Two sides

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of the MSNBC "Morning Joe" show, has just written a new book titled Obsessed: America's Food Addiction—and My Own. It was just released this week. I heard Brzezinski talk earlier this week, together with her co-author and friend Diane Smith, about our struggles with food issues in America—and about her own "disordered eating patterns," as she calls them. We women are especially prone to food issues since there's so much pressure on us to have slender, beautiful bodies.

Smith and Brzezinski talked about coming from different ends of the weight spectrum: Brzezinski has done awful things to her body to maintain low weight, and Smith had let her weight get away from her. After a particularly honest and raw conversation one day, they agreed to work together on their own weight and food issues—and to write a book in the process. Smith would lose 70 pounds (more as it turned out), and Brzezinski would gain 10 or more pounds and try to be OK with a larger dress size.

The book chronicles their journey to these goals and what they learned in the process. It is a reminder to me that there are two sides to a coin. When a person is thin, you and I should not assume they have no food or weight issues. And when someone is overweight, we also should not assume they are lazy and undisciplined. Here's where we can really encourage one another, no matter where we fall on the eating or weight continuum. Skinny women aren't the enemies of overweight ones. Or vice versa.

It's important to refrain from judgment, either toward ourselves or others. If you struggle with food and weight issues and want to make some changes, consider finding a friend to set goals with you. A year ago a friend and I joined Weight Watchers together. We've commiserated and also encouraged each other. As a result, we've each lost some 25 to 30 pounds. It helps to have that support!

And, as always, if you would like some coaching around this issue, please do contact me. Remember, I always offer a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session first.

Is 'thin' your goal?

I heard it years ago when I attended Weight Watchers. I saw it again in their materials the other day.

"Nothing tastes as good as thin," it says.

I wonder. I know what they're trying to say. The taste of no food is quite so good that it can trump the feeling of being thin. And I really do support what Weight Watchers tries to do: get women (and men) to eat well in a sustainable fashion. It's not about dieting. It's about changes in eating habits.

But I would change the wording: Nothing tastes as good as healthy. I'm not sure we should necessarily aspire to "thin." I personally resist the societal messages that place value on us as women according to our dress size or a perfect hour-glass figure. You and I are so much more than that. Our value comes from who we are, not how we look.

I can sign on to wanting to be healthy, however. I want to keep my health as long as is possible. I feel better when I eat well and exercise. That's what will inspire me: Nothing tastes as good as healthy.

I'd love to hear your reactions. How do you respond to all the advertising urging us to be thin?

How did you love your body today?

What, you ask. Did you say love my body?! Yes, I did.

We women have received many media messages about our bodies. Mostly, we come to believe that we simply don’t measure up (no matter how fit we are or what size we wear).

What if you loved your body and treated it well? Stop a moment and think about all your body has done for you: carrying you from place to place, walking, dancing, perhaps birthing and carrying babies, holding and rocking them, and so much more. Think, too, of how you have treated it. Have you pushed it to its limits, perhaps operating on little or no sleep at times, maybe filling it with unhealthy food and doing so in a hurry so you could get on with your day? Have you starved it with dieting, trying to be what the fashion magazines told you to be?

Coach Christine Arylo (www.madlyinlovewithme.com) says that your body is your temple. She invites you to “transform your relationship with your body to one full of unconditional love and respect.” Ah, what a wonderful invitation.

How different would your life be if you loved your body, if you saw it as a temple, if you treated it well and fed it good things? Why not start today? Put a post-it note on your mirror as a daily reminder.