Stop wasting time—just be you!

No doubt we've all heard speeches from the time-management folks telling us how we can be more productive and how we can stop wasting time.

I'll bet this is a time-waster you never thought about! I just read that the average person wastes "a whopping 12 percent of their day—every day—comparing themselves to others." Whoa, really?

Now I don't know what kind of research they did to learn that information. But one thing I do know: We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others when it really isn't helpful to do so. It is detrimental to our relationships, to our sense of self and to our well-being and happiness.

If this is something with which you deal, make a focused effort first on awareness. Notice when you catch yourself comparing to someone else. Stop right there. If you need to ask some questions of yourself when you stop, do so—questions such as: Is it worthwhile to compare to that person? Not really, it won't get you anywhere. Are things as perfect for that person as they appear to be on the outside? Most likely, not. Knowing we're each the only one like us on the planet, why would I want to even try to be like that person? And here's the biggie: What would it look like to be the best me I can be? And what would it take to get there? Now that's more useful! Make the choice to be you—to be authentic.

Grief is as individual as a fingerprint

Yesterday we talked about grief and how losses can add up and hit us with a real whammy.

Today I'd like you to think about just how you grieve all the losses, large and small, in your life. Different types of loss require different approaches. And each person has a different style, which can change from situation to situation, too.

I don't know whether you've ever read the book Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert, Chuck DeKlyen and Taylor Bills; but I highly recommend it. As that book talks about loss, grief and healing, it makes the point that we each will have our own soup recipe, filling the pot with tears, feelings, memories, misgivings and more. My soup won't taste like yours. Your soup will take a different amount of time to cook than mine. It's an individual process, one not to be judged by anyone else.

The important thing is to tend to your grief. Don't stuff it down. It will come out in all sorts of ways anyway. And as we said yesterday, it can pile up and hit you with a vengeance much later if you ignore it.

When you do the work that your particular circumstance requires, you can more quickly move on to a healthy, happy life again. Take your time, though. Your tear soup is your tear soup—and you don't need to follow anyone else's recipe or timeline!

Resist comparisons

"A woman who knows her worth doesn't measure herself against another woman but stands strong, calmed, and self-confident."

That's what my Mary Engelbreit calendar page told me one day last week. Of course, it was written by that famous author "Anonymous"—whom many say must have been a woman!

I like the sentiment. It's far too easy to compare ourselves with others. Even though I know better, I still catch myself doing that at times. It's really not helpful, is it? Each one of us is unique. So why would it help to compare with someone else? We develop in unique ways and in our own unique timing. We have emotions unique to our particular experiences, and we each express them in our own way.

So this is a reminder to myself—and to you, too, if you need it today—to stand strong, calmed and self-confident. You are amazing. You have many gifts and talents that the world needs. So let's get out there and calmly, confidently do our thing.