4 questions to ask before you speak

Facebook often is filled with negative messages these days in the midst of a raging political season, one of the most negative I can recall. But yesterday, this: "Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody."

Ah, what a good reminder! It really doesn't take so much, does it? A kind word. A smile. Respectful conversation. Asking for clarification. Holding back any hurtful remarks. Encouraging others. Complimenting others. Saying thank you.

Here are some questions to ask before you speak:

1) Is what you are about to say kind?
2) Is it true?
3) Is it necessary?
4) Does it improve upon the silence?

I often hear people tell stories about conversations in which they share about an illness or a difficult time they're experiencing—and the other conversation partner drops a bomb about a similar illness from which a friend died or shares a story of their difficult time as though to one-up the original story. What? Really? Is that helpful or necessary?

I am trying to remember these four questions in my conversations. Then I can make choices that make others feel good about themselves.