Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Asking for needs to be met

Do you have some unmet needs that are pretty important to you and that you're hesitant to ask someone (spouse, children, friend) to help fulfill? If you were raised like I was, you likely didn't learn how to ask for what you need. In fact, many of us were raised to ignore our needs and tend to those of others instead—particularly if we are women.

It's great to be of service to others. What's not great is when so many of our really important needs go unmet and we end up resentful of others. The desire for those needs comes out sideways and in peculiar ways, especially to those closest to us. We may be angry or irritable and others have no idea why. Better to be direct and simply ask.

Check yourself to see whether there's something you really want someone else to do or say to you. Don't be afraid to ask. We don't always get what we ask for. But we surely won't get it if we don't ask! In fact, it can make for a good conversation if we ask a good friend or partner what that person needs and then say what we need from them. Go ahead, take that first step. This also gives permission for the other person to ask for needs to be met, so it may be a new behavior for you both to learn.

Old dogs can learn new tricks!

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