The center of the storm

In these days of so much conflict and anxiety, I keep looking for ways to stay with positivity and keep hope alive. So once again, I turn to one of my favorite inspirational poets and authors, Mark Nepo. He came extremely close to death with his cancer, so he speaks out of some deep experience.

In his book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen, he reminds us that "...the only true place of calm in a storm is the very center." 

He goes on to say, "Somehow, in the face of adversity and suffering, we are asked to appreciate life and endear ourselves to it. Not by replacing adversity with joy and not by turning from the difficulties and injustices of living, but by facing them with truth and gratitude for being here anyway. Even after cancer, and in the midst of this journey now, I don't know how to do this but know I must. We must."

As I struggle to find out how to do this myself, I'm encouraged to know that he isn't sure either but that he knows we all must find our way to this place of calm and equanimity. I don't know why but that spurs me forward to find ways myself.

He quotes former president of the Czech Republic Vaclav Havel on the subject of hope: "Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out." Ah, yes, there is a difference. And now I still have to think of what that means in our context in this country.

How do you see this?

Recover from adversity

When something goes wrong in your life, do you take it personally, assume it means that everything else in your life will go wrong too, and believe the effects are forever? If so, try to change how you see adversity. Things go wrong for everyone from time to time. Don't take it personally. An obstacle in one area of your life doesn't mean you'll experience one in all other areas. Your sadness and disappointment are not permanent either.

Perhaps it's time for an attitude adjustment so you can be more resilient. Building resilience takes work and practice, but it's so worth doing. It increases well-being and good mental health.

Be intentional about how you view setbacks and disappointments. Be grateful for what you do have. Get out in nature and enjoy it. Spend time with friends who are supportive and positive. For many people, attitude adjustment can be helped along by writing about your setbacks and what you've learned from them. In fact, research shows that when people think about the good things that came out of bad experiences, they report less distress, fewer disruptive thoughts, less negativity and greater meaning in their lives. Perhaps you have your own favorite, tried-and-true ways to combat negativity and stay resilient. Keep them handy and use as needed!