Loving & accepting yourself

As you age, are you becoming more comfortable in your own skin? So many of us as women lack confidence when we're young. We try so hard to fit in, to conform to society's standards for women or to what others in our life say we should be. Many of us learn later in life how to love and accept ourselves.

Finally, finally, we learn that it's far better to be authentic! To just be ourselves and feel great about it.

I've long liked what author and psychiatrist Jean Shinoda Bolen says about that in her book Crones Don't Whine: Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women. Bolen is trying to resurrect the original meaning of the word "crone," which is a wise woman or an elder.

Here's what she says: "To be a crone is about inner development, not outer appearance. A crone is a woman who has wisdom, compassion, humor, courage and vitality. She has a sense of truly being herself, can express what she knows and feels, and take action when need be. She does not avert her eyes or numb her mind from reality. She can see the flaws and imperfections in herself and others, but the light in which she sees is not harsh and judgmental. She has learned to trust herself to know what she knows."

Yes, oh yes. I love this stage of life with its increasing comfort of knowing and accepting who I am, flaws and all. Doing so also leads us to be more gentle with others and to feel compassion. What about you? Are you feeling it?

How wonderful is this thing called aging!

Large numbers of women are trying to reclaim the word "crone," which in ancient times was a respected female elder in a community. Since then it has gathered up negative connotations and spurred images of a witch with warts stirring a pot and concocting some type of potion. In reality, it means a woman comfortable in her own skin who has found her voice and uses it. She's a wise, older woman.

Much is written about crones as a positive force today. So when I read in Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman's Body & Soul by Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick these words, I really resonated: "To the Crone, detachment is not indifference. It means she has lived and suffered, and, having suffered, can draw back and see with her heart."

After I read that for the first time, I added these additional words on the page: "...and seeing with her heart, she can speak her truth no matter who doesn't want to hear it."

Isn't it wonderful to reach the age and stage of life where you feel comfortable in your skin, where you like who you are, where you have found your voice and now dare to speak out and use it? We have suffered much and have many scars, inside and out, to prove it. But now we can see with our hearts. And we can detach and let go—something very different from being indifferent.