Closed doors, open doors

Have you ever missed an opportunity because you've been focusing your gaze on the past? It was Alexander Graham Bell who said, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

When a door closes and a loss occurs, whether a friendship, a job or some other opportunity, it certainly is important to grieve it. We need to take time to reflect on what that closed door means.

What Bell's quote tells me is that we don't want to get stuck focusing on that closed door because we can completely miss another opportunity in the present or the future. It can also happen that we might completely miss any lessons that might be learned in that interim period between a closed door and an open door or window. All of that time following a closed door is valuable. There are lessons to be learned, and there are potential opportunities ready to materialize if we are paying attention.

What have you learned through doors closing? I'd love to hear.

Be here. Now.

Are you holding onto things from the past? Are you angry, bitter, disappointed or resentful about what has happened in the past? If so, much of the power of now will evade you. It will simply be out of reach.

Or are you anxious and worried about things that may or may not happen in the future? If so, you will miss the opportunities in this powerful present moment. Who knows what you might create right now if you concentrate on the present?

Or are you doing both—holding onto the past and worrying about the future? That's a double whammy (at least!).

Let go, let go, let go. Be here. Now. Bring yourself into the present. Look around. What do you notice? What opportunities are right in front of you? Opportunities to engage with people and activities that might add meaning to your life and the lives of others? What wonders are you not noticing around you because you're living in the past, the future or both—but not in the present?

It's not too late. Start noticing. Keep pulling yourself back when you discover that you've moved into the past or future. Soon, you'll find yourself more in the present. There's tremendous power in that!

Be here now

Yesterday I blogged about a Facebook post that struck me. Here's another one I saw there that resonates, too. It's titled "I Was Dying" and is attributed to that famous writer, Anonymous!

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now, I am dying ... and suddenly I realize I forgot to live."

Oh, my, talk about living in the future and forgetting to live in the present! How sad.

It's a good reminder, though, isn't it? It's easy to live in the past, going over things we didn't do and wishing we'd made different choices and taken different paths. Or it's easy to live in the future, as this writer did, always longing for that next stage of life, forgetting to enjoy what's right in front of us. It's also easy to do a bit of both—looking backward and looking forward—while ignoring the life that's right here, right now.

A lot is written these days reminding us to "Be here now." It's important to hear that message. Our lives are filled with so many opportunities and gifts, and it's easy to miss those if we're focusing on either the rear-view mirror or the road way up ahead.

What are you missing that's right in front of you? Savor it. Live it.

Be present to the moment

We can't change the past. We have no idea what the future will bring. All we really have for sure is this moment.

We hear that a lot these days. It's not easy for most of us to let go of old patterns of living in all three of those times—dwelling on things in the past, worrying about things in the future, and still trying to live this moment as best we can.

I think it's worth trying to be as present to the moment as possible, though. And I read something the other day that really resonated with me—since I do my share of worrying about what might be coming. This was written by Mark Nepo in his The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Speaking of his experiences with cancer, he said: "In diagnosis, I feared surgery. In surgery, I feared treatment. In treatment, I feared stronger treatment. In recovery, I fear recurrence. ... it is the practice of returning to whatever moment we are living now that restores us...."

I need constant reminders in order to do this. And often, I end up juggling all three again. However, as always, it's progress and not perfection that's important. So I keep trying. What about you?

Using the past

Do you look for life lessons in nature and other things around you? Are you intrigued with metaphor? I admit it's one place I find inspiration.

For example, yesterday I read the following in one of my favorite inspirational books, The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo:

"The (chambered) nautilus ... builds a spiral shell, but always lives in the newest chamber. The other chambers, they say, contain a gas or liquid that helps the nautilus control its buoyancy. Even here, a mute lesson in how to use the past: live in the most recent chamber and use the others to stay afloat."

That image resonates with me because I have often felt that I've outgrown things from one stage of life and feel ready to move into a new stage or chamber. Perhaps it's ideas I've outgrown. Perhaps it's a job or an attitude. Or even a hobby. But I've found myself ready to move on. However, I have also noticed that I still use the lessons I learned from that past stage. And, of course, all those past experiences and former stages profoundly affect who I am today.

At the end of his daily reading, Nepo encouraged the reader to consider: "Is the past living in me, or am I living in this passage of the past?" Ah, interesting question. There really is a difference, isn't there? The past can live in you (and be used to "keep you afloat" as in the chambered nautilus) or you can live in the past—not a recommended way of life! You get to choose.