Each day is gift

I'm not sure whether it's my age—or whether it's the times in which we live—but each week seems to bring more news of someone facing a serious life issue. Friends dying, receiving a harsh medical diagnosis, losing jobs or having their job go sour in a big way, facing financial distress and more. Some days it gets really heavy, doesn't it?

A dear friend of mine always reminds me to not let this drag me down as I support those experiencing these issues. Instead, she says, let these things remind you to be present to the current moment. She's right. Let's not live with our eyes in the rear view mirror. And let's not live with our heads so far in the future, making plans that may or may not happen. Rather, let's be right here right now. Let's savor our moments. Tell people we love that we do love them. Listen to people with attention. Feel more compassion. Give out more smiles and hugs.

Each day is a gift. Open it with gratitude. Spend it wisely and lavishly!

Embrace the questions

I find such joy in reading the words and wisdom of others and then running it through my own experiences and filters to see what it might be saying for me—and what I might even pass along to others from that endeavor.

Mark Nepo is one of my favorite authors and poets. He is so honest and real, and that helps me dig down beneath any masks and beliefs that really no longer work but that I may not yet have shed.

In his book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: Staying Close to What is Sacred, he says: "So being here involves more than just reacting to the things that come at us. It requires that we initiate a love affair with all that calls to us, seen and unseen; that we run with open arms into questions and moments of living as urgently as we do burning buildings to retrieve who and what we love."

Despite my best efforts to stay awake and be truly present each day, I often feel that I do too much reacting to what comes at me. I sometimes avoid the questions I should be asking because deep down I know they'll be uncomfortable and may lead me somewhere outside my comfort zone. So I like the image of running "with open arms into questions." Hmmm, what might that lead me to?

How does that strike you?

Closed doors, open doors

Have you ever missed an opportunity because you've been focusing your gaze on the past? It was Alexander Graham Bell who said, "When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."

When a door closes and a loss occurs, whether a friendship, a job or some other opportunity, it certainly is important to grieve it. We need to take time to reflect on what that closed door means.

What Bell's quote tells me is that we don't want to get stuck focusing on that closed door because we can completely miss another opportunity in the present or the future. It can also happen that we might completely miss any lessons that might be learned in that interim period between a closed door and an open door or window. All of that time following a closed door is valuable. There are lessons to be learned, and there are potential opportunities ready to materialize if we are paying attention.

What have you learned through doors closing? I'd love to hear.

Be here. Now.

Are you holding onto things from the past? Are you angry, bitter, disappointed or resentful about what has happened in the past? If so, much of the power of now will evade you. It will simply be out of reach.

Or are you anxious and worried about things that may or may not happen in the future? If so, you will miss the opportunities in this powerful present moment. Who knows what you might create right now if you concentrate on the present?

Or are you doing both—holding onto the past and worrying about the future? That's a double whammy (at least!).

Let go, let go, let go. Be here. Now. Bring yourself into the present. Look around. What do you notice? What opportunities are right in front of you? Opportunities to engage with people and activities that might add meaning to your life and the lives of others? What wonders are you not noticing around you because you're living in the past, the future or both—but not in the present?

It's not too late. Start noticing. Keep pulling yourself back when you discover that you've moved into the past or future. Soon, you'll find yourself more in the present. There's tremendous power in that!

Wake up—just BE

I often forget to live in the present moment. I'm busy looking toward the future or dwelling in the past. Perhaps you do that, too? Or I'm so focused on my to-do list that I miss the wonder of now. I don't see everything around me—only the tiniest of things.

I want to move more toward living in the present. I want to stay awake and aware. I want to notice what's going on around me (and in me, too)! Perhaps this is a place where incremental progress is the best for which we can hope. As author Mark Williams says, "For most of us, a typical day involves hurrying from task to task, forgetting that there are other possibilities for us. Even a tiny bit of mindfulness, brought to any moment, can wake us up, thus subverting the momentum of doing for at least one moment."

So even if we can stay awake and aware for a few moments at a time, it's a good thing. And we can become human beings rather than merely human doings.

Live in the present

A friend of mine often reminds me, "Life can change on a dime." Yes, it can.

Last week, my oldest son, who operates his own HVAC business, tore his lower bicep tendon. Just snapped like that when he lifted a water heater. Next stop: surgery, followed by four months of recovery and rehabilitation. For someone whose business depends upon him being there and literally doing the heavy lifting, this is not good news.

It's yet another reminder to me that I need to bring my awareness to the present moment and, as they say, "live in the now." You and I have absolutely no idea what will happen in the next minute or hour or day. So I want to make the best of each moment, to savor the time and give gratitude for everything I have now. Perhaps you already do this well. I try. But I often slip into old habits—either processing the past or thinking about my expectations of what's coming next (or what I hope is coming). Or doing both. That means I'm missing a lot that's right in front of me.

This reminder isn't a downer for me. I hope it isn't for you. It's simply calling my attention to living in the present moment. The past is done. The future isn't yet here ... and could well be different from our expectations anyway. Look around and see what's there for you to savor and enjoy. Notice the people in your life, the beauty, the many gifts and blessings. Give thanks for it all.

Be present to your life

During my years as a magazine journalist when I took global trips to remote parts of the world to gather stories, I had to be both the writer and the photographer. I conducted the interviews, wrote up the notes and also had to stop and take the photos. Sometimes it felt as though I saw way too much through a camera lens rather than with the naked eye. I was so busy with my notebook and my camera that I couldn't even soak up the amazing people, places and experiences—places to which I'll likely never return.

So when I went on my own travels, I sometimes took very few or no photos. I just wanted to experience the trip. I wanted to do more than just document the event or experience.

I've heard it said that today, with our cell phones functioning as cameras and always with us, we have become so obsessive about documenting our lives (and then posting them on one or more social media sites) that we don't truly even have the experiences. It's as though we aren't even present for our lives. We're so busy looking in from the outside and then sharing that snapshot with others.

Does that resonate with you? I confess I've done plenty of that myself. I want to become more aware of that, however, and try to be more present to my life and to those who people it. I tell myself: Be awake and aware, Sonia. Be present to your life.

What do you want this year?

I just heard a wonderful quote from author and motivational speaker Wayne Dyer: "When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself."

Wow, that's powerful. It's a good reminder to tend to our own "stuff" rather than worry about what others are doing or not doing. It's so much easier to judge others rather than have to face our own fears, insecurities and failures, isn't it? But it really gets us nowhere. Whenever I become critical of someone else, I try to remember to stop right there and instead think of what work I have to do on my own "stuff."

That said, I don't want all of life to become simply work on my "stuff" either. I want fun. I want play. I want adventure and joy to be a big part of life.

What's on your list for this year? More play time? More fun? A new career you want to discover? Perhaps new ways to spend your retirement years? Different ways to connect with your children or grandchildren? For what do you yearn? What are your desires?

Whatever it is, I encourage you to go for it. The present is the only time we know we have. Who knows what the future contains? Don't wait. Live fully right now!

Oh, the possibilities...

One of my favorite poets and meditational writers, Mark Nepo, realized after his experiences with cancer that he approaches time with those he meets in a different way these days. Now he asks himself, "If I only have this time on Earth with this person, if I may never see them again, what is it I want or need to ask, to know? What is it I want or need to say?"

I've given a good deal of thought to his remarks because I notice that, in our busy lives, we often rush through our conversations with others with dozens of other things on our minds—often thinking ahead to the next six or eight things on our to-do list. But each exchange is important. Each bit of communication has the potential for insight, growth and deeper relationship. What might I learn if I really take time to be with the person who's right in front of me? What do I want to ask? What do I want to say?

We don't know whether we'll have tomorrow or the next day or the next. We have this moment right now. We have this person who's right in front of us now. We don't know whether we'll ever see that person again.

Such an approach is not meant to be morbid or depressing. It's meant to make the most of each moment, each exchange. It's how we truly show up in our lives. Each interaction is filled with possibilities. Show up with curiosity and openness.

Be here now

Yesterday I blogged about a Facebook post that struck me. Here's another one I saw there that resonates, too. It's titled "I Was Dying" and is attributed to that famous writer, Anonymous!

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now, I am dying ... and suddenly I realize I forgot to live."

Oh, my, talk about living in the future and forgetting to live in the present! How sad.

It's a good reminder, though, isn't it? It's easy to live in the past, going over things we didn't do and wishing we'd made different choices and taken different paths. Or it's easy to live in the future, as this writer did, always longing for that next stage of life, forgetting to enjoy what's right in front of us. It's also easy to do a bit of both—looking backward and looking forward—while ignoring the life that's right here, right now.

A lot is written these days reminding us to "Be here now." It's important to hear that message. Our lives are filled with so many opportunities and gifts, and it's easy to miss those if we're focusing on either the rear-view mirror or the road way up ahead.

What are you missing that's right in front of you? Savor it. Live it.

Let go of worry

Well, here's something I need to hear. I don't know about you, but I spend far too much time worrying about things that in all likelihood never will happen anyway!

So when my Mary Engelbreit calendar page included this quote the other day, I took notice: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength."

Whoa, isn't that the truth? It helps me not one whit to worry about things that might happen tomorrow. But it surely takes away from today's powerful and wonderful experiences.

I think this little calendar page is worth hanging on my mirror—or somewhere that means I'll see it every day.

Particularly when I hear about lives changed instantly because of an illness or an accident, I'm more and more aware of the gift of each day—each moment. It's a gift, and we ought not waste it on worry. This is one more thing on my "let go list." Savor the present moment.

If you do well at living in the present and not worrying about the future, I'd love to hear some of your tips in the Comment Box below. I am sure many of us would benefit from your wisdom.

Be present to the moment

We can't change the past. We have no idea what the future will bring. All we really have for sure is this moment.

We hear that a lot these days. It's not easy for most of us to let go of old patterns of living in all three of those times—dwelling on things in the past, worrying about things in the future, and still trying to live this moment as best we can.

I think it's worth trying to be as present to the moment as possible, though. And I read something the other day that really resonated with me—since I do my share of worrying about what might be coming. This was written by Mark Nepo in his The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have.

Speaking of his experiences with cancer, he said: "In diagnosis, I feared surgery. In surgery, I feared treatment. In treatment, I feared stronger treatment. In recovery, I fear recurrence. ... it is the practice of returning to whatever moment we are living now that restores us...."

I need constant reminders in order to do this. And often, I end up juggling all three again. However, as always, it's progress and not perfection that's important. So I keep trying. What about you?

Using the past

Do you look for life lessons in nature and other things around you? Are you intrigued with metaphor? I admit it's one place I find inspiration.

For example, yesterday I read the following in one of my favorite inspirational books, The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have by Mark Nepo:

"The (chambered) nautilus ... builds a spiral shell, but always lives in the newest chamber. The other chambers, they say, contain a gas or liquid that helps the nautilus control its buoyancy. Even here, a mute lesson in how to use the past: live in the most recent chamber and use the others to stay afloat."

That image resonates with me because I have often felt that I've outgrown things from one stage of life and feel ready to move into a new stage or chamber. Perhaps it's ideas I've outgrown. Perhaps it's a job or an attitude. Or even a hobby. But I've found myself ready to move on. However, I have also noticed that I still use the lessons I learned from that past stage. And, of course, all those past experiences and former stages profoundly affect who I am today.

At the end of his daily reading, Nepo encouraged the reader to consider: "Is the past living in me, or am I living in this passage of the past?" Ah, interesting question. There really is a difference, isn't there? The past can live in you (and be used to "keep you afloat" as in the chambered nautilus) or you can live in the past—not a recommended way of life! You get to choose.