Today is a dear friend’s birthday. Many years ago, she went through a difficult divorce. She and I enjoyed many good times together during our newly single years (once we’d worked through the pain of divorce). And then she got a second chance at love—and remarried.
Sadly, just two years ago her beloved second husband died. I remember vividly the time I saw her just six months or so after his death. She was pale, losing weight and just a shadow of the vibrant, positive friend I loved so dearly.
But when I saw her last fall, I saw my friend again! She had light in her eyes, her smile had returned; and I knew she had turned a corner. She had done her grief work and tended to her loss. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss her husband every day. It means that she’s accepted that her life is different now, and she’s beginning to move on.
Work through losses
Have you had a loss recently? Death of someone you love? Illness? Loss of agility or mobility? Job loss? Or perhaps you’ve experienced a broken friendship.
Loss comes in many forms. No matter what kind of loss you experience, be sure you tend to the pain of it. Feel the pain. The disappointments. The separation. Cry. Journal. Talk it out. Draw. Dance it out. Find a support group in which to share your feelings.
Do whatever will help you grieve, let go and move on. And one day, you’ll notice that the birds are singing again. That the sun is shining again. And just like my friend, you will again have a sparkle in your eyes and your smile will return.
For help doing your grief work, I invite you to connect with me for a no-obligation, sample consultation.
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