Friday, October 25, 2013

Be honest about what you feel

Yesterday I talked about the gifts that are sometimes waiting for us in our painful experiences. Our struggles can be transformed into true learning experiences. The caterpillar, after its time in the cocoon, is transformed into a whole new creature—one that can soar after its previous life of crawling on its belly. We have lots of those transformational moments, too.

I recall work I did with a life coach some years ago when I was feeling pretty down. So many things seemed to be happening in my life, and I had that feeling of life "piling up on me." Ever feel that way? It's no fun, is it?

My coach encouraged me to really enter into that moment of vulnerability and see it as a doorway to the grief I was feeling; for, as she said, "it just could be a place to discover some gifts—and ultimately, be a doorway to come back with even bigger energy!" First, however, I had to be real and be honest about what I was feeling. No more masks. No more "strong, tough woman who leaps tall buildings in a single bound and lands backward in high heels and a straight skirt"! Just be real. Admit I'm grieving. Admit I'm sad. Work with that.

I didn't much like being in that place. I prefer to be positive and look at the glass half full. But this life coach was correct. I really needed to stay with those feelings of sadness. I needed to reflect on what it all meant for me. And then I knew when I'd worked through the grief and when it was time to let go. And indeed that time did open doors so that I could discover gifts and "come back with even bigger energy."

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