Give your time

The countdown to Christmas is shrinking. Only a few days left.

Just yesterday I read some interesting "justice" gift ideas: Volunteer. Even one hour is helpful. Wrap gifts for children in shelters. Write holiday letters to our troops. Escort an older person to do some Christmas shopping. Serve a hot meal at a soup kitchen. I'm sure you can come up with ideas of your own.

It may be too late for this year. But there's always next year.

And speaking of next year, I have decided to give myself the gift of time to do some things on my to-do wish list that simply aren't getting done. To do that, I am discontinuing these weekly blogs—at least for now. I will finish out December. Who knows? I may resume again at some point.

However, if you sign up to the right of this blog post, you can receive my monthly ezine—if you aren't already signed up to receive it. All you will receive when you sign up are the three free gifts that come initially into your email inbox, and after that my ezine once a month. Nothing else. I don't sell your name or email address. I don't send anything additional. Just a monthly ezine to inspire you.

Gifts that keep on giving

In this frenzied season of "shop until you drop" for holiday gift-buying, remember that it's not all about the things we buy in stores or online.

I remember when our children were young, our family gave several gifts of time. We didn't have a lot of money at the time, so we gave the gift of time along with some things purchased in local stores. For example, my sons might give their father certificates good for a number of shoe-polishings or I might give the boys certificates they could turn in for a pie or cookies of their choice. You get the idea. We would each make a little book of tickets or certificates with a variety of items and give to each other.

Perhaps it's time for me to revive some of those ideas. I also know some grandparents who buy tickets to a play, one for themselves and one for the grandchild. Time spent together is such a beautiful gift and one that will give lasting memories as well—the gift that keeps on giving!

What's on your gift-giving list this year?

Gifts & gratitude

Do you have someone who's a real light in your life? Someone whose life and words shine brightly and inspire you? Have you told this person how their light brightens your path?

It's so easy to take for granted friends and family—or even a coffee barrista or service professional—who provide positive examples for us and who inspire us. But we shouldn't.

With so much negative energy and incivility rampant all around us, it's really important to express our gratitude daily for the gifts we receive. It's good for us, and our hearts, to do so. And it's so important to tell others the ways in which they matter to us—to say "Thank you" for the light they shine on our path. You can make someone's day or week just by doing so!

I love sending cards via snail mail. It always surprises people to get mail that isn't a bill or a donation request. But there are many ways to express your gratitude these days: a phone call, a text, email, snail mail, flowers or even a box of fruit accompanied by a note.

Who would you like to say "Thank you" to today? How will you do so?

Stories are life-giving

American author and essayist Barry Lopez once said, "Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive."

Interesting thought, isn't it? Think about it: Don't our stories tell us who we are? Where we've been? Even perhaps who and what we might become?

When someone listens, really listens, as I tell my life story, I feel heard. I feel real. Alive. And when they affirm what I've been through and how I've come through it, I have truly been listened into existence.

Sharing our stories with one another is a pretty intense and deep way to get to know someone, especially when we don't hold back. Sharing your story is a gift. Hearing another's story is a gift, too.

Can you think of a time when you reminded a friend or loved one of a part of their story they'd forgotten? Do you recall their joy at being given that gift? I've had friends say to me, "Thank you so much for reminding me of that part of my story! I'd completely forgotten that. That helps me know that I can get through this situation, too!"

Yes, it's true: sometimes we really need our stories to stay alive.

Notice the gifts

As I write this, it's 63 degrees and sunny. Sixty-three degrees in February! This is such a gift—to experience such beauty in the midst of winter. It's a lovely reprieve.

Of course, I want more of this. One or two days are never enough. I know in the Chicago area, we'll definitely have more winter before spring truly does arrive. So I need to simply accept today as the gift that it is and savor it. I need to be grateful for this.

This reminds me to do that with the rest of life, too. Every single one of us has problems and challenges to face. Illness. Job loss. Workplace conflicts. Relationship challenges. Caregiver problems. Death of loved ones. How to make the money stretch each month. And more.

But—every single one of us also has miracles and gifts and good things dropped right into our lives amid all the challenges. And do we stop and say thanks? Do we feel gratitude and savor those moments?

Let's be sure to do so. I need to be reminded of that myself, which is why I often write blogs that I need to hear! I know that when I've stopped to notice the gifts and feel the gratitude, I begin to notice even more things for which I am thankful. My focus has shifted. Ever notice that? Funny how that works!

Each day is gift

I'm not sure whether it's my age—or whether it's the times in which we live—but each week seems to bring more news of someone facing a serious life issue. Friends dying, receiving a harsh medical diagnosis, losing jobs or having their job go sour in a big way, facing financial distress and more. Some days it gets really heavy, doesn't it?

A dear friend of mine always reminds me to not let this drag me down as I support those experiencing these issues. Instead, she says, let these things remind you to be present to the current moment. She's right. Let's not live with our eyes in the rear view mirror. And let's not live with our heads so far in the future, making plans that may or may not happen. Rather, let's be right here right now. Let's savor our moments. Tell people we love that we do love them. Listen to people with attention. Feel more compassion. Give out more smiles and hugs.

Each day is a gift. Open it with gratitude. Spend it wisely and lavishly!

Who are you really?

Authenticity. It's an extremely important part of the aging process, in my humble opinion. At long last, we become more comfortable in our own bodies. We become more confident. We know what we know, and we're okay with that. We know our gifts, and we also know our shortcomings. We're human. And we're fine with it all.

I read this in a magazine recently, "Being yourself is the prettiest thing you can be." I like that. Yes, it really is. Just be yourself. Be the best you that you can be. Be all you were created to be.

When we're young, we try on different personas, not yet knowing who we really are and wanting to receive approval from some of the adults in our lives. Soon enough, we live a life that takes into account what others think we should be and do—and we don't realize that it could take us far from who we really were meant to be. We may never think about what we want to do.

It's not too late. Think about what you most long for at your very deepest levels. Think about those times when you feel most you. And think about your passions, your gifts. Keep moving in the direction of those things—in the direction that feels most life-giving to you. Go for authenticity.

If you'd like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session.

Awareness is a gift

Last week one day when I ran into a store to pick up some last-minute Christmas dinner items, a mother and a young girl were pushing a cart in which sat what must have been the younger sister, perhaps 2 years old. The little one was happily singing songs non-stop. Some were Christmas songs such as "Jingle Bells" and others were children's ditties such as "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."

Several other shoppers just kept pushing their carts and rushing on their way. I don't fault them for that as I'm sure most people had long to-do lists once they got home.

However, for me, this was one of those times to stop and pay attention. I just wanted to soak up the delightful experience—a little girl so happy that she just sat in her mother's cart and sang one song after another. I was just enchanted. It definitely put a smile on my face and a spring in my step as I listened. After just a minute or so of just watching and listening, I continued around the store. And I could still hear her as I wandered through the various aisles gathering supplies. Even now when I think of it, it brings a smile; and a feeling of delight washes over me. It was all about awareness and attention.

How often I've just hurried on my way and missed moments such as this. I want to stop and pay attention more often. How about you?

P.S. Remember that beginning in January 2017 I will be posting three blogs each week rather than five (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). If you have ideas for topics you wish to see covered in these blogs, I would love to hear them at: sonia@way2growcoaching.com.

What a gift to wake up today!

Something I read recently reminded me that while most of us are so busy each day focusing on our to-do lists and our problems and worries, we forget to bask in the joy of what a gift it is simply to be here. What a gift it is to be alive—to see, hear, smell, taste, feel!

That thought resonated so deeply within me. Yes, I thought, it's so true. It seems so profound, so basic and so important. You'd think we would all be reminded each day when we awaken: Wow, I'm glad to be here. I'm glad I woke up this morning and have another day of life. I'm so grateful. And yet, how easy it is to focus on everything else.

Really! Let it just soak in right now. One more day. Look around you. What do you see? As I write this in my upstairs study, I look out on trees that still retain some of their beautifully colored leaves. I see the sunshine shining brightly. And I know that the temperatures today (in November yet!) are to be in the mid-60s. I know that I'll see friends and loved ones today—and that many more are only an email, text or phone call away from me. I know that I have food in the house. I have a bed in which to sleep, a roof over my head. I have a car to take me where I want to go. And so much more.

I feel so, so blessed.

What about you?

Holding up half the sky

No matter what you may think of any of the candidates running for U.S. president this year, I hope you agree with me that it is significant that a woman is one of the major party candidates. It's a first. I think of the fact that when my beloved mother was born in 1911, women didn't even have the right to vote. And several women suffered greatly so we could, finally, attain that right. I think of the fact that some other countries of the world already have had a female leader, and we haven't. I think about the fact that none of us is free until all are free—and that in many parts of the world, girls cannot receive an education and they aren't free. In many places around the globe, girls are viewed as property and have no rights or voice. They are trafficked all around the globe, including right here in our own country. I think of the ancient Chinese proverb, "Women hold up half the sky" and its image of women fully bringing their gifts to the task just as do men.

Some days I just don't know what to make of all this. I rejoice in the victories women and girls attain. I celebrate with my five granddaughters that they're able to imagine and dream things I couldn't—and that my mother never dreamed possible. And yet I still carry the scars of women saying behind my back, "Who does she think she is?" as I tried to move from a magazine managing editor into the editor position. And I cringe when today I hear hateful comments such as, "Trump the _itch!" We've come far. And we have so, so far to go.

Where do we go with all of these extremes? How do we reach a point where all the world's girls and women receive education, respect and every opportunity afforded the other half of the world's population? What will it take? How might we ensure this? I am so passionate about the importance of this. I would dearly love to hear your ideas in the Comment Box below. Or if not there, send your ideas to me at: sonia@waytogrowcoaching.com.

Share your gifts today

Do you have a sense of why you're here? Of what gifts you may bring to the world that the world really needs right now? Of your purpose in life at this time?

Perhaps that's really far more important to think about than the purpose of life in the macro sense. While interesting to ponder the purpose and why of the universe, perhaps it's more relevant to think about what you and I need to be about. That's something we can actually manage or control, to some degree anyway.

Each one of us has talents and gifts that can be directed to serve others—to serve a larger purpose. You may have a special knack for dealing with seniors. Or for nurturing children. Perhaps your focused attention to detail is needed by some organization that's desperately trying to tighten up and preserve its resources so it can better serve others. You may be an artist of one kind or another whose gifts inspire others and lift us above the mundane so that we can dream and fulfill our own higher purpose.

Whatever your gift is, don't be shy. Discover it. Name it and claim it. Be grateful for it. And happily share it with the world. Someone is waiting for what you have to give!

Volunteering brings gifts

Volunteering is one of those wonderful acts that appears to be all about giving to others (and it does)—but that, often surprisingly, contains as many or more gifts for the person doing the volunteering.

When you volunteer, you add new people to your circle of acquaintances and friends. Every person has a story, so you are exposed to so many more narratives, each one with something to teach the rest of us, it seems. You also often learn new skills and hone some you may not have used for years. What you do may seem small but it can be significant in impact for others.

Volunteering often helps you develop a deeper appreciation for all you have in life. That's always a good thing. It's easy to take for granted all the gifts and blessings we have in life, and we each need reminders from time to time that not everyone enjoys those same blessings and privileges. It grants a different perspective and can help you notice small things and those moments that bring joy.

There is nothing like the deep satisfaction and fulfillment you feel when you know you're being of service to others. You have made a difference, and that feels great, doesn't it?

Unleash your potential

My oldest grandson will turn 21 next week. He has his whole life ahead of him, and who knows what it will contain? Right now he's in college studying journalism (just like his grandma!), and we have no idea where that may take him.

A few weeks ago, I came across a photo of him as a young boy, perhaps 4 or 5 years old. And it occurred to me that all the potential he has within him now as an almost-21-year-old was there then, too. Isn't that so amazing?

We come into this life containing all the potential we'll ever need. What we do with all those abilities is a matter of choices throughout our lives, however. One choice after another. And most often, second, third and more chances if we make a bad choice.

So it's good to stop and ask every now and again: Am I using my gifts and abilities in the best way possible? Am I living up to my potential? What more might I do to add more light to my little corner of the world?

Whether you're still in career mode or whether you're retired, there still exist so many ways to shine your light out into the world. You never have to stop being all you were created to be. Even when limitations of one sort or another come, you can work within those and be who you were meant to be. If you haven't already, unleash all that potential that was there when you were tiny! The world needs it all. Now.

Turn it upside down

I just love it when an aphorism can be turned upside down and surprise me with an entirely new thought. I remember when I first heard the saying, "Seeing is believing," turned upside down: "Believing is seeing." When I believe something can be true, I begin to see with new eyes.  The truth of that has stayed with me for years.

We've all heard the saying, "Bloom where you are planted." But have you ever thought about turning that upside down? "Plant where you are blooming." It's an entirely different prospect. The gifts we have—and use when we're blooming—aren't meant just for our own growth and transformation. They are meant to share.

Where are you blooming? In what areas do you shine? Perhaps you're a teacher, and your gift is helping others learn and grow. Maybe you're a writer, and words are your gift. And if you're a parent or grandparent, there are many gifts you have to offer right where you are. If you're retired, many options abound in terms of volunteering to serve—planting seeds.

Plant some seeds today—right where you are. That's where true joy is to be found.

You are a wonder

When you're ticking off all the things for which you're grateful, don't forget yourself. Remember to thank your body for all it's done for you through the years. And be grateful for the talents and gifts you've been given. Celebrate the wonder of you.

I have a Blue Mountain Arts book on gratitude, and today I read a reminder about this in a writing by Sydney Nealson. In part it said: "Acknowledge your talents and abilities. Realize what a beautiful soul you have. Understand the wonder within."

The wonder within. Yes, indeed. And the wonder without, too. When you stop to think of all the years your legs, knees and feet have gotten you around—up and down stairs, through miles of varied terrain, back and forth walking babies to sleep, getting to work, volunteering and more—it's quite amazing. Think, too, of all your arms and hands have done. And what about that brain of yours? Isn't it incredible how it has operated all these years to keep all your body systems running? And your heart? The list is endless.

You truly are a wonder. So am I. Let's stop and give thanks for that today. Living in gratitude will make today and every day extra special. And well it should. Each day is such a gift!

A courageous heroine

Yesterday I attended a program that centered around an impersonation of Eleanor Roosevelt. I've read a lot about this gifted and amazing woman, and I've seen the Ken Burns' TV series on the Roosevelts. So I already knew a fair bit about her life. But somehow yesterday's presentation—in which the impersonator dressed in clothes of that period and spoke as Eleanor about her experiences and what she felt as she lived through them—brought home to me in a deeper way the courage of this woman.

Eleanor grew up afraid of nearly everything. She grew up with no real affection or affirmation from her mother, who belittled her and made her feel plain and ugly. Although raised in a wealthy family, she experienced a lot of adversity and grief along the way. As we know, money doesn't protect anyone from pain and grief.

What stood out for me was what Eleanor said each time a new (and frightening, for her) situation or challenge arose: Yes, I'm afraid, she said, acknowledging her fear. Then she would do everything she could to rise above it. Her motto seemed to be: "Feel the fear and do it anyway," a saying we hear often today.

This was a good reminder to me. It's so easy to simply say, "I couldn't possibly do that." Instead, I want to remember to admit to the fear—and then find a way to overcome it, to go ahead and do that thing that seems so frightening. It's how we grow. It's how we expand on the gifts we've been given—and sometimes it's how we even discover gifts that have been latent inside us for years. So today I'm inspired by the courage of a woman who also had lots of fears but who made a real difference in the lives of others.

'The place just right'

The other morning I awoke to the sounds of my favorite classical radio station playing a delightful version of the Shaker tune "'Tis the Gift to Be Simple" with Yo-Yo Ma on cello and Alison Krauss singing. The tune is so beautiful, and this version was clear, pure and simple. It fit the title of the song perfectly. It so caught my attention that morning that I looked at the words anew that day. I've known that song for years.

Do you know it? Google the lyrics or check out YouTube where there will be several versions. It's definitely worth a look and a listen.

"'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free
"'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be
"And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
"'Twill be in the valley of love and delight."

And that's just the first verse! There's a lot upon which to reflect just in those words. Simplicity. Freedom. Being where you're meant to be—"the place just right." Love. Delight. Gifts.

Are you in "the place just right" in your life right now? Do you know what place that is, first of all? And what would it take for you to get there?

If you'd like some conversation around this topic, please contact me for a complimentary coaching session. 

Stories—what a gift!

Everyone has a story. You have one. I have one. We tend to think that the things that have happened in our life are just ho-hum and quite ordinary. But there are so many pieces that are unique to each of us. We have a story that includes lots of little stories within it.

In addition, there is so much about us that no one else knows. I often think that my best friends (and that includes my beloved sister) know a lot more about me than my three sons do. Or at least, my friends know some very different things from what my sons know; they see me in a different light, of course.

I'm at the stage of life where I'm thinking about what I might leave my kids and grandkids by way of a legacy—and by that I don't mean money or an estate. I mean that I'm thinking about what I'd like to leave behind for them of my story. I would like to have something written, perhaps with some photos, so they can know more about some of the events of my life and what those meant to me—and perhaps something about what difference that may have made in their lives.

As I reflect on my own parents, I wish I had asked so many more questions of them when they were alive. I know some of their stories. But there's a lot I don't know—and would love to know.

Have you done anything with your story? Do you want to do so? There are lots of resources out there to help us do this. Remember, sharing your story could be a gift to someone in your life.

A gift to be alive

I remember clearly that after my maternal grandmother died, we found in her dresser drawers many of the gifts we'd given her in her final years—unused. Powder, lotions, clothes and many other lovely things. I am quite certain the items weren't unused because she didn't like them. In fact, I have no doubt that the opposite was true. She thought the items were special and was saving them for a special occasion. I can just imagine her saying that. "This is too nice to use for every day."

That taught me a valuable lesson. I don't save such gifts for a special occasion. I enjoy them, savor them and remember with gratitude the one from whom they came—each time I use the item. In addition, now I realize that simply being alive and being able to enjoy such gifts IS the special occasion.

It's just another way of being present right here, right now. Live in the moment. Don't save good gifts or good experiences for a special day. Today is special!

Your younger self & your aging self

Do you sometimes wish that when you were much younger, you would have known the things you know today? Yup, me, too.

We can't go back, of course, nor would we really want to do so. At least, I wouldn't. But it can be helpful to reflect on what your younger self was like. How was she different from who you are now? If you could talk with her now, what would you say to her? If she could talk with you now, what do you imagine she would say to you?

What fears did your younger self have? Do those still hold you back? What dreams did she have? Were they realized? Might they still be?

And what talents did she possess then that you have used through the years? Which ones remain unused even now? Is there a way you can still tap into those gifts and talents at this stage of your life? How will your reflections on your younger self shape who you might still become? Know that it's not too late to grow and make changes. Unless we actively resist growth and transformation, we typically continue to evolve and change as we age. That being so—and knowing what we now know—we can still tap into unrealized dreams and use talents that have been dormant all these years. Go ahead, see what you yet want to be and do!