Wednesday, May 1, 2013

To whine or not to whine

Ever catch yourself whining or complaining about absolutely unimportant things? Me, too! ... and that's even when I'm feeling pretty good about life. I don't know what it is about us as humans, but at times it's as though we just can't stand to be positive and happy. Are we afraid of being a Pollyanna? What's up with that?

Well, I really want to be more of a cup-half-full person these days. I want to tell more "river stories" than "rut stories" (from Dawna Markova's book I Will Not Die an Unlived Life).  I've mentioned her book in blogs before; she says we can tell the stories of our life either from the view of a victim, stuck in a rut, in which negative things keep happening to us—or we can tell them from a more life-giving stance where we see the possibilities in our circumstances. We can view our lives positively or negatively. We can see the cup half empty or half full.

So, recently a friend said she, too, catches herself whining about trivialities. She asked me to quietly say something to her when I heard her doing that. What a great idea, I thought! I asked her to do the same for me. This is a great service we can offer one another: a sort of whine-control mechanism. At some point, perhaps cup-half-full behavior will become the default!

Do you have someone who can notice when you say or do things you really want to quit—and can lovingly point that out to you? What a gift that can be. Ask someone for help today. Remember, it takes strength to help others. And it takes courage to ask others to help you.

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