Monday, November 17, 2014

Avoiding some disappointment

Each year I choose a word or phrase that I keep at the back of my mind (or sometimes, the front) so as to change some behavior and assist in my personal growth. This year I chose "non-attachment."

Sometimes I get too attached to outcomes; my expectations get in the way and cause disappointment when things don't work out the way I had envisioned. And don't we often find that life has a way of not cooperating with our best-laid plans?! That can lead to lots of disappointment.

I can also get too attached to ways of thinking and belief systems. I want to have my values, beliefs and thoughts—and also be open to those of others without judging those. So I am trying to practice more non-attachment.

Mind you, non-attachment is different from detachment. Detachment is more a way of ignoring my thoughts and feelings. When I do that, those thoughts and feelings seem to pop up anyway—and often in ways I don't like. With non-attachment, the thoughts and feelings are there and I can acknowledge them. But then I can also set them aside and not let them rule. By setting them aside, I'm not letting them ruin my day. I can go with the flow a bit better because I have acknowledged my thoughts and feelings and then made a choice about what I'll do with them.

This is difficult work. But it's worth doing for me. What are you working on these days that's difficult for you? Don't give up. Our habits and ways of being took years to develop—it'll take time to make changes, too.

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