As we approach the end of another year and reflect on all that's happened in our lives and in the life of our country and our globe, it's easy to become discouraged. I know so many people this year who are feeling depressed and overwhelmed with it all. It's easy to feel that way, especially if you listen to any news broadcasts at all.
However, let's all resist the temptation to descend into hopelessness and to feel that "We're only one person and what can we do anyway?" It's vital to remain hopeful and to do whatever things we can to contribute to the common good and to help ourselves with whatever we face, too.
I just learned that there's a name for the attitude of "I'm just one person"—psychologists call it "learned helplessness." It's toxic and can hold us back from taking any action. We believe there's no hope, and we quit trying to change things. It's so easy to grow weary. In fact, many of us are completely exhausted with our own challenges and with hearing about all the hatred and violence that surrounds us. Let's resist the hopelessness and helplessness.
Structures are built one stone, one brick, one board at a time. That's how we deal with life, too: one small step at a time. Change happens just that way as well. Let's help ourselves and each other to avoid "learned helplessness" and to stay in the game. It definitely takes a village to get through.
Although I will write only one more blog (Monday, New Year's Eve) for a while (I need to take a break to tend to other things on my to-do list), I will still send out my monthly ezine. If you haven't signed up, please do so to the right of this blog post. All you will receive is the initial three free gifts and thereafter, one ezine each month to inspire you. I don't sell my list, and I don't send you anything else.
For now, I want to encourage you to stay in the game and keep hope alive!
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Friday, December 28, 2018
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Children's top fears
Christmas Day is past, but the season is still here—if you believe in the Twelve Days of Christmas. And a brand new year is approaching.
What changes would you like to see in our country in 2019? In our world? And what will you do to bring about such changes?
If you want to do something for children, here are some thoughts. The Children's Defense Fund recently released a survey to tell us children's top three fears:
• Being bullied,
• That a shooting will happen at their school, and
• Feeling pressured to do things they don't want to do.
Or perhaps you have other things on your list. That's great. Always remember the power each of us has to effect change, one small move at a time.
A reminder: I will post blogs in this space for the remainder of 2018. But in 2019 I will not be doing so, so I can give myself more time to do other things. I will continue to send out my monthly Way2Grow ezine, however. If you don't yet receive it, simply sign up with your email to the right of this blog post. I won't sell your information. I won't send you anything other than the initial three free email gifts and thereafter, the once-a-month ezine to inspire you.
What changes would you like to see in our country in 2019? In our world? And what will you do to bring about such changes?
If you want to do something for children, here are some thoughts. The Children's Defense Fund recently released a survey to tell us children's top three fears:
• Being bullied,
• That a shooting will happen at their school, and
• Feeling pressured to do things they don't want to do.
Or perhaps you have other things on your list. That's great. Always remember the power each of us has to effect change, one small move at a time.
A reminder: I will post blogs in this space for the remainder of 2018. But in 2019 I will not be doing so, so I can give myself more time to do other things. I will continue to send out my monthly Way2Grow ezine, however. If you don't yet receive it, simply sign up with your email to the right of this blog post. I won't sell your information. I won't send you anything other than the initial three free email gifts and thereafter, the once-a-month ezine to inspire you.
Monday, December 24, 2018
Every stone counts!
Today is Christmas Eve. We have heard much throughout this season about peace on earth. And yet, we hear stories of war and violence across the globe. We hear fights over immigration. We see the huge refugee problem. We are stunned by the amount of gun violence and the mass shootings in our country. We are constantly aware of the awful cycle of poverty, homelessness and hunger all around us and globally.
These issues seem insurmountable. We often think, "But I'm only one insignificant person. What can I possibly do?"
Confucius once said, "The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones." At Christmastime and all through the year, let's remember the power we really do have. Let's start by carrying small stones. Pick even one of the country's or world's problems and do one small thing to begin. One small stone. Then another. Join hands with others. See what a difference we really can make! Change happens one person at a time.
Think of the possibilities!
These issues seem insurmountable. We often think, "But I'm only one insignificant person. What can I possibly do?"
Confucius once said, "The person who moves a mountain begins by carrying small stones." At Christmastime and all through the year, let's remember the power we really do have. Let's start by carrying small stones. Pick even one of the country's or world's problems and do one small thing to begin. One small stone. Then another. Join hands with others. See what a difference we really can make! Change happens one person at a time.
Think of the possibilities!
Monday, November 5, 2018
Embrace your changes
We know that change is a normal part of life. Without change, we'd never grow up. Change, evolution, transformation—call it what you will. It's essential. I love to think of the butterfly, which started life as a lowly caterpillar and wound itself into a dark cocoon, where it seemed to die. And then suddenly, all those same parts that formed that caterpillar changed into a beautiful butterfly. I love that image of transformation, which is why I've chosen it as the symbol of my Way2Grow Coaching practice.
French author Arnaud Desjardins, who wrote the book The Jump Into Life: Moving Beyond Fear, once said:
"Life is expressed in a perpetual sequence of changes. The birth of the child is the death of the baby, just as the birth of the adolescent is the death of the child."
On and on it goes. Perpetual change. Why then do we so fear change? It's a normal, yes a valued and essential, part of our lives. So let's embrace it and be grateful for new life and transformation. Be grateful we learn and grow. And let yourself soar like the beautiful butterfly that emerges from the cocoon!
French author Arnaud Desjardins, who wrote the book The Jump Into Life: Moving Beyond Fear, once said:
"Life is expressed in a perpetual sequence of changes. The birth of the child is the death of the baby, just as the birth of the adolescent is the death of the child."
On and on it goes. Perpetual change. Why then do we so fear change? It's a normal, yes a valued and essential, part of our lives. So let's embrace it and be grateful for new life and transformation. Be grateful we learn and grow. And let yourself soar like the beautiful butterfly that emerges from the cocoon!
Friday, May 4, 2018
What's calling you?
Ah, it's that wonderful time of year, where I live anyway, when winter finally truly lets go and allows spring to enter the door. Flowers are starting to flout their colors. Birds are singing. And in just another day or two, I should see amazing hummingbirds at my feeder. Rebirth. It's such an exciting time of year—and all the more so this year, it seems, because we waited extra long for it to arrive.
It makes me reflect on what in my life could use renewal and new birth. I don't yet know what's ahead for me, but it's always good to ponder what might be. What could use my attention? What's calling to me now? Do I need to make any changes, either in direction or in attitude? Is it time for something new to blossom and bloom? Or perhaps it's time to clean out something in my life, whether physical or emotional? To declutter and let go?
How about you? What does spring call forth in you?
It makes me reflect on what in my life could use renewal and new birth. I don't yet know what's ahead for me, but it's always good to ponder what might be. What could use my attention? What's calling to me now? Do I need to make any changes, either in direction or in attitude? Is it time for something new to blossom and bloom? Or perhaps it's time to clean out something in my life, whether physical or emotional? To declutter and let go?
How about you? What does spring call forth in you?
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Random Words of Kindness
If we didn't think there was already a plethora of offensive remarks being volleyed back and forth, this week there are even more. Social media sites are buzzing. What can we do as individuals to help change this culture? To find our way to some sense of civility?
I keep thinking of the phrase, "When they go low, we go high." I need to remember it in my daily life. If each one of us practices that, will it spread—like the proverbial ripples in the pond? I don't know, but it's worth a try.
Remember the Random Acts of Kindness movement? Perhaps that needs a revival. Or perhaps we need a Random Words of Kindness movement.
What do you think? Are you ready to do your part? I certainly would like to try.
I keep thinking of the phrase, "When they go low, we go high." I need to remember it in my daily life. If each one of us practices that, will it spread—like the proverbial ripples in the pond? I don't know, but it's worth a try.
Remember the Random Acts of Kindness movement? Perhaps that needs a revival. Or perhaps we need a Random Words of Kindness movement.
What do you think? Are you ready to do your part? I certainly would like to try.
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Change is afoot
Some of my friends have had experiences recently—ranging from job loss to loss of dear friends (too young to have their lives over) to jobs going sour to confronting the aging process and its losses along with its opportunities.
Each of these women admits to asking the questions that originally caused me to create my Way2Grow Life Coaching practice:
• Who am I now?
• Where am I going?
• What do I want to do with the rest of my life?
• What's my purpose now?
• What does successful living look like for me?
These questions and more are part of this stage of life where we have accumulated a wealth of experiences, some good and some difficult, but all of which have taught us a thing or two. It seems we're never done learning, however, particularly if we're paying attention. It's always a good time to stop and ask the questions above and others—to re-evaluate where we are and where we're going. It's also a good time to consider what needs to be shed, whether that's old ideas, resentments, personas that don't fit, friends who aren't good for us, jobs that are toxic, etc.
Where are you now? And what might you need to change? What losses do you need to grieve or tend to? If you'd like to talk about this, I invite you to contact me. I offer a complimentary coaching session; all you need to do is let me know and we'll go from there.
Each of these women admits to asking the questions that originally caused me to create my Way2Grow Life Coaching practice:
• Who am I now?
• Where am I going?
• What do I want to do with the rest of my life?
• What's my purpose now?
• What does successful living look like for me?
These questions and more are part of this stage of life where we have accumulated a wealth of experiences, some good and some difficult, but all of which have taught us a thing or two. It seems we're never done learning, however, particularly if we're paying attention. It's always a good time to stop and ask the questions above and others—to re-evaluate where we are and where we're going. It's also a good time to consider what needs to be shed, whether that's old ideas, resentments, personas that don't fit, friends who aren't good for us, jobs that are toxic, etc.
Where are you now? And what might you need to change? What losses do you need to grieve or tend to? If you'd like to talk about this, I invite you to contact me. I offer a complimentary coaching session; all you need to do is let me know and we'll go from there.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Learn to befriend change
"Life is expressed in a perpetual sequence of changes. The birth of the child is the death of the baby, just as the birth of the adolescent is the death of the child." These are the words of French author Arnaud Desjardins, who was educated in a Protestant Christian environment but who made television documentaries from a variety of spiritual traditions, many of them Eastern.
Reread what Desjardins said. Then consider why we are so frightened of change. It's so much part of life. It's like the air we breathe. Why then are we so afraid of it?
Perhaps you might consider today one or two ways that you could befriend change in your life. We encounter change on a regular basis, after all. Without it, there would be no life at all. Consider again Desjardins' words above. We can't remain infants. We don't want to remain children. Everything around us is in constant flux as well.
Perhaps by taking change to its basic level, we can come to terms with how important a role it plays in our lives and our development—and we can remove some of the fear from it. Surely we don't want everything around us to stay the same—our children forever babies, one season with no change, perpetual daylight or perpetual darkness, plants that don't grow or yield fruit, etc. Can you imagine?
Consider what about change frightens you and see how you might reduce or remove that fear. Change is here to stay, so we might as well get used to it!
Reread what Desjardins said. Then consider why we are so frightened of change. It's so much part of life. It's like the air we breathe. Why then are we so afraid of it?
Perhaps you might consider today one or two ways that you could befriend change in your life. We encounter change on a regular basis, after all. Without it, there would be no life at all. Consider again Desjardins' words above. We can't remain infants. We don't want to remain children. Everything around us is in constant flux as well.
Perhaps by taking change to its basic level, we can come to terms with how important a role it plays in our lives and our development—and we can remove some of the fear from it. Surely we don't want everything around us to stay the same—our children forever babies, one season with no change, perpetual daylight or perpetual darkness, plants that don't grow or yield fruit, etc. Can you imagine?
Consider what about change frightens you and see how you might reduce or remove that fear. Change is here to stay, so we might as well get used to it!
Friday, November 24, 2017
Give more time for gratitude
Do you engage in the typical U.S. Black Friday frenzy? If you don't, consider carrying yesterday's Thanksgiving Day gratitude over for days—or weeks. It's always a good thing to focus on the many gifts and blessings each of us has. Most of us have more than enough and definitely can use more than one day a year to give thanks!
If you do really get into Black Friday, consider making this year different. What would happen if you didn't run out to all the shops and line up in the middle of the night or before dawn? What would happen if you didn't even step foot inside a shop? Or order online that day? Would the sky fall? Or your world crumble? Doubtful!
Sometimes it's good to change up our patterns and see what opens up inside us when we do. Focusing on all the good things in our lives and thanking for them enables us to see even more positives. It shows us the truth of the saying that whatever we focus on gets larger. If we focus on accumulating more and more, we will get all caught up in acquisition and not notice all the blessings we already have. If we pay more attention to all we have, or to the fact that we have enough, we'll feel satisfied and happy—with gratitude for what we do have rather than focusing on what we do not have.
If you do really get into Black Friday, consider making this year different. What would happen if you didn't run out to all the shops and line up in the middle of the night or before dawn? What would happen if you didn't even step foot inside a shop? Or order online that day? Would the sky fall? Or your world crumble? Doubtful!
Sometimes it's good to change up our patterns and see what opens up inside us when we do. Focusing on all the good things in our lives and thanking for them enables us to see even more positives. It shows us the truth of the saying that whatever we focus on gets larger. If we focus on accumulating more and more, we will get all caught up in acquisition and not notice all the blessings we already have. If we pay more attention to all we have, or to the fact that we have enough, we'll feel satisfied and happy—with gratitude for what we do have rather than focusing on what we do not have.
Friday, November 10, 2017
Facing life's intersections
I have so many friends right now who are facing momentous changes: job losses, new jobs following job loss, family members dying, deteriorating health for self or a loved one, other changes in health status, adjusting to a new living situation and more.
Changes such as those always seem to lead to questions about what we can handle, who we are, where we've been and where we're going. Such changes also lead us to re-evaluate our values. What's important to us? Are we spending time on what's most important to us? Or are we spending it on things that are less important—and waiting until "we get around to it" for the big things in life?
When we come to those intersections in our lives, whatever leads us to those points, it's a good time to stop and reflect on any and all of these questions—and more. It's not too late to tweak a bit or even change course so we better live out of our values.
Even if you're not facing any big life change, it might still be a good time to stop and reflect on where you've been, where you're going and what's consuming most of your time and energy these days. See if this is where you want to be. If not, make some different choices. You get to decide!
Changes such as those always seem to lead to questions about what we can handle, who we are, where we've been and where we're going. Such changes also lead us to re-evaluate our values. What's important to us? Are we spending time on what's most important to us? Or are we spending it on things that are less important—and waiting until "we get around to it" for the big things in life?
When we come to those intersections in our lives, whatever leads us to those points, it's a good time to stop and reflect on any and all of these questions—and more. It's not too late to tweak a bit or even change course so we better live out of our values.
Even if you're not facing any big life change, it might still be a good time to stop and reflect on where you've been, where you're going and what's consuming most of your time and energy these days. See if this is where you want to be. If not, make some different choices. You get to decide!
Monday, October 30, 2017
So what's next?
Last Friday we discussed the exploding "Me too" movement that followed the allegations of sexual abuse and harrassment by film mogul Harvey Weinstein over decades. Thousands and thousands of women are coming forward with similar stories across career fields and venues.
As someone said on Facebook, "There can't be a woman alive who hasn't experienced abuse, harassment, or intimidation, whether it be sexual, verbal or psychological." It happens in workplaces, in the military, in the church and in a wide range of venues. As we watch the explosion of "Me too" comments on social media, we can see the prevalence of abusive behavior in our society.
Now that we're more aware of how widespread this is, the next question is: "Now what will we do about this pervasive predatory behavior—and the climate that has made it OK?"
Awareness is essential. But now what? This must lead to change. It is way beyond time to put focus on the victims (and keep re-victimizing them by shining the spotlight on them)—and high time we focus on the predatory behavior that's so pervasive. It's time we look at the reasons we tolerate this outrageous behavior. Why has it been allowed to go on for decades—or really, for centuries?
As women and, I might add, also men of good will, let's add our voices to the mix and push for real change. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Please feel free to find your voice and add it to the comment box below.
As someone said on Facebook, "There can't be a woman alive who hasn't experienced abuse, harassment, or intimidation, whether it be sexual, verbal or psychological." It happens in workplaces, in the military, in the church and in a wide range of venues. As we watch the explosion of "Me too" comments on social media, we can see the prevalence of abusive behavior in our society.
Now that we're more aware of how widespread this is, the next question is: "Now what will we do about this pervasive predatory behavior—and the climate that has made it OK?"
Awareness is essential. But now what? This must lead to change. It is way beyond time to put focus on the victims (and keep re-victimizing them by shining the spotlight on them)—and high time we focus on the predatory behavior that's so pervasive. It's time we look at the reasons we tolerate this outrageous behavior. Why has it been allowed to go on for decades—or really, for centuries?
As women and, I might add, also men of good will, let's add our voices to the mix and push for real change. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Please feel free to find your voice and add it to the comment box below.
Monday, July 31, 2017
To retire or not retire, that's the question
I have friends who are retired, and I have friends who aren't retired. I have friends still in their careers who are anxiously awaiting the time they can retire. And I have some friends who really dread thinking of retirement. Such a variety of feelings about retirement!
There's a lot about which to think when it comes to retirement. Some people get to plan when they'll retire and what they want to do. Others of us have retirement forced upon us for a number of reasons. Either way, it's good to think ahead and dream a bit about what it might look like if you're not yet there. And if you're already there, you may want to stop and evaluate what you are doing. See whether what you're doing works anymore. If not, what would you like to change up?
Give yourself the mental and emotional space to consider new ways of being. Try new things. Let yourself dream about how you really want to spend your time. Try to let go of some of life's "shoulds" too. Have some fun with it, whether you're there already or just thinking about it.
There's a lot about which to think when it comes to retirement. Some people get to plan when they'll retire and what they want to do. Others of us have retirement forced upon us for a number of reasons. Either way, it's good to think ahead and dream a bit about what it might look like if you're not yet there. And if you're already there, you may want to stop and evaluate what you are doing. See whether what you're doing works anymore. If not, what would you like to change up?
Give yourself the mental and emotional space to consider new ways of being. Try new things. Let yourself dream about how you really want to spend your time. Try to let go of some of life's "shoulds" too. Have some fun with it, whether you're there already or just thinking about it.
Monday, July 17, 2017
Of peace and change
Recently I read some words spoken by Mairead Maguire that speak deeply to me:
"Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change, too."
If you know who Maguire is, you'll know how deeply she feels these words—and how she lives them. Three of her sister's children were killed in Northern Ireland in the violence between Catholics and Protestants. So she organized massive demonstrations and other actions calling for a nonviolent end to the conflict. In 1976 she and Betty Williams together won the Nobel Peace Prize. Maguire still speaks out against oppression and violence, working for peace—currently standing in solidarity with people in Syria.
Change is possible. Peace is possible. And it is up to each one of us to do our part to bring it about. And, yes, it is a daily struggle for us to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving and joyful. There is much that can drag us down, wear us out and make us angry. Let's keep coming back to that north star of forgiveness, compassion and love. And let's help each other stay true to those values, too. Then, by "some miracle of grace," we can be change and bring about change!
"Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change, too."
If you know who Maguire is, you'll know how deeply she feels these words—and how she lives them. Three of her sister's children were killed in Northern Ireland in the violence between Catholics and Protestants. So she organized massive demonstrations and other actions calling for a nonviolent end to the conflict. In 1976 she and Betty Williams together won the Nobel Peace Prize. Maguire still speaks out against oppression and violence, working for peace—currently standing in solidarity with people in Syria.
Change is possible. Peace is possible. And it is up to each one of us to do our part to bring it about. And, yes, it is a daily struggle for us to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving and joyful. There is much that can drag us down, wear us out and make us angry. Let's keep coming back to that north star of forgiveness, compassion and love. And let's help each other stay true to those values, too. Then, by "some miracle of grace," we can be change and bring about change!
Monday, April 17, 2017
Retirement & other life changes
Not long ago I facilitated a discussion for women who are on the cusp of retirement and who had some concerns and questions about it. If you are facing retirement or if you have friends who are, here the some open-ended questions for exploration:
• What my heart really longs for in retirement is:
• Things that make me jump out of bed in the morning:
• Fun, playful things I want to do in retirement are:
• What makes me most anxious about my retirement is:
• Resources I have to deal with those anxieties:
Anytime we move from one phase of life to another, even when it's something to which we look forward, we are only human if we also feel some anxiety. Even good change in our lives can include losses. When we move to something new and exciting, we also leave behind some things that we liked and will miss. It's good to be honest about that. New beginnings always include some endings, too.
What helps you face this, no matter what stage of life is next for you, is being real about it all. It helps to talk it over with others. It also helps to consider what resources you have to face this—including those people in your life who will help you work through whatever anxieties or losses you have.
If you are in the middle of some transition or if you're facing retirement and wish to talk it over, I invite you to contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary strategy session.
• What my heart really longs for in retirement is:
• Things that make me jump out of bed in the morning:
• Fun, playful things I want to do in retirement are:
• What makes me most anxious about my retirement is:
• Resources I have to deal with those anxieties:
Anytime we move from one phase of life to another, even when it's something to which we look forward, we are only human if we also feel some anxiety. Even good change in our lives can include losses. When we move to something new and exciting, we also leave behind some things that we liked and will miss. It's good to be honest about that. New beginnings always include some endings, too.
What helps you face this, no matter what stage of life is next for you, is being real about it all. It helps to talk it over with others. It also helps to consider what resources you have to face this—including those people in your life who will help you work through whatever anxieties or losses you have.
If you are in the middle of some transition or if you're facing retirement and wish to talk it over, I invite you to contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary strategy session.
Friday, March 31, 2017
Transition times are rich
One of my dear friends has been moved to do some real clearing-out in her life. She's cleaning files and rooms in her home and rearranging things. She's clearing out things in her inner life as well. She feels she's on the verge of something new happening in her life. She's not sure just what.
I reminded her the other day that we sometimes go through a transition period between the old and the new—and to not be worried if that does happen. That period can sometimes bring with it a bit of discomfort. We aren't sure what's on the other side, but we've already left the safety of the old shore. However, that transition period can be extremely important.
Writer Suzanne Braun Levine calls this transition time "the fertile void." I really like that term. It implies what really is true about such times: They are not empty times. They are rich with possibility. They are fertile. Such times remind me of growing up on a farm: We knew that every so often, some of the land needed to lie fallow in order to recharge. You cannot keep growing crops on a piece of land forever and ever. The soil nutrients will be depleted. The soil needs to rest and replenish.
So do we. We need recharging from time to time, too. So if you're going through any kind of change in your life, try not to fear a transition time. See it as the "fertile void" that it can be. If that's uncomfortable, learn to be OK with that for a while. And then be ready for the new life that will surely emerge for you.
I reminded her the other day that we sometimes go through a transition period between the old and the new—and to not be worried if that does happen. That period can sometimes bring with it a bit of discomfort. We aren't sure what's on the other side, but we've already left the safety of the old shore. However, that transition period can be extremely important.
Writer Suzanne Braun Levine calls this transition time "the fertile void." I really like that term. It implies what really is true about such times: They are not empty times. They are rich with possibility. They are fertile. Such times remind me of growing up on a farm: We knew that every so often, some of the land needed to lie fallow in order to recharge. You cannot keep growing crops on a piece of land forever and ever. The soil nutrients will be depleted. The soil needs to rest and replenish.
So do we. We need recharging from time to time, too. So if you're going through any kind of change in your life, try not to fear a transition time. See it as the "fertile void" that it can be. If that's uncomfortable, learn to be OK with that for a while. And then be ready for the new life that will surely emerge for you.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
Creating your future
This is a good time of year to reflect on what you'd like to see happen in the coming year. Is there a new direction you'd like to move? Some dream you long to pursue? Some life changes you want to make? Or even some self-care practices you'd like to add to your daily routines? What vision do you have for 2017?
There are so many ways to record such longings. You might journal about this. Or just jot down some notes. One effective—and fun—thing to do is to create a vision board that contains images of the future you long to create. Find magazines and catalogs, photos, images from the Internet or wherever you can and search for pictures that inspire you—pictures that represent how you'd like your life to look, that symbolize your feelings or experiences. This can be lots of fun. Cut out the images that you wish along with some inspirational quotes. Glue these on a piece of poster board. And voila, you have a vision board.
Keep this board in a prominent place so you can see it daily. Let is inspire you. Let the board motivate you to make whatever changes you had dreamed of making.
A small group to which I belong did this together the other night. Even though it's an individual design, it can be fun to do this in a group. After you finish, you might share your longings with the others in the group. You might even get more ideas that way. And you'll most certainly have fun!
P.S. Remember that Way2Grow blogs will appear on Monday, Wednesday and Friday starting now in 2017. Please send topic ideas to: sonia@way2growcoaching.com.
There are so many ways to record such longings. You might journal about this. Or just jot down some notes. One effective—and fun—thing to do is to create a vision board that contains images of the future you long to create. Find magazines and catalogs, photos, images from the Internet or wherever you can and search for pictures that inspire you—pictures that represent how you'd like your life to look, that symbolize your feelings or experiences. This can be lots of fun. Cut out the images that you wish along with some inspirational quotes. Glue these on a piece of poster board. And voila, you have a vision board.
Keep this board in a prominent place so you can see it daily. Let is inspire you. Let the board motivate you to make whatever changes you had dreamed of making.
A small group to which I belong did this together the other night. Even though it's an individual design, it can be fun to do this in a group. After you finish, you might share your longings with the others in the group. You might even get more ideas that way. And you'll most certainly have fun!
P.S. Remember that Way2Grow blogs will appear on Monday, Wednesday and Friday starting now in 2017. Please send topic ideas to: sonia@way2growcoaching.com.
Monday, December 5, 2016
In charge or in control?
Larry Eisenberg, 96-year-old science fiction writer, said, "For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe."
That made me laugh when I first read it. However, it contains more truth than poetry! We don't honestly think that we are the general manager of the universe. But sometimes don't we act as though we are? We think we have far more control than we really do have. We worry about things as though we really are in control. And yet, when it comes right down to it, we control precious little.
That said, we do have charge of some things in our lives. We make choices about whether we struggle against change or whether we accept it and move along with it. We make choices about our attitudes toward others and toward life in general. We make choices about our actions, whether to spray our anger and fears out onto others or whether to deal with them in a calm, less hurtful manner. So many choices. We are in charge of those and other choices.
It's good to know the difference between being in charge of things in our life and being in control. And it's good to know the boundaries of what's ours to manage and what's not.
That made me laugh when I first read it. However, it contains more truth than poetry! We don't honestly think that we are the general manager of the universe. But sometimes don't we act as though we are? We think we have far more control than we really do have. We worry about things as though we really are in control. And yet, when it comes right down to it, we control precious little.
That said, we do have charge of some things in our lives. We make choices about whether we struggle against change or whether we accept it and move along with it. We make choices about our attitudes toward others and toward life in general. We make choices about our actions, whether to spray our anger and fears out onto others or whether to deal with them in a calm, less hurtful manner. So many choices. We are in charge of those and other choices.
It's good to know the difference between being in charge of things in our life and being in control. And it's good to know the boundaries of what's ours to manage and what's not.
Friday, December 2, 2016
Love is stronger
Is it my imagination or are more people operating on a shorter fuse these days than is typical for this time of year? Quite often, we see people in December trying harder to be kind and thoughtful, to start with themselves in bringing about peace on earth. Often we're happier because we're focused on doing things to bring joy to others—buying them gifts, giving to our favorite charities, baking for shut-ins, etc. We're living from a place of generosity and gratitude. But this year?
Lately I'm hearing about a lot of public displays of rage and anger—people going off on one another in restaurants, stores, at ballgames and in other public places. It's sad. It's hurtful. It doesn't speak well of us as citizens of what many call the greatest country on earth. Can we make that claim anyway?
As always, if we point a finger at others for this less-than-kind behavior, we remember that we have four fingers pointing back at ourselves. All we can do is begin at home. We can remember that love is stronger than hate. We can remember that the only person whose behavior we can change is moi. The song lyrics come to mind, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."
I want to step up my game today. How about you?
Lately I'm hearing about a lot of public displays of rage and anger—people going off on one another in restaurants, stores, at ballgames and in other public places. It's sad. It's hurtful. It doesn't speak well of us as citizens of what many call the greatest country on earth. Can we make that claim anyway?
As always, if we point a finger at others for this less-than-kind behavior, we remember that we have four fingers pointing back at ourselves. All we can do is begin at home. We can remember that love is stronger than hate. We can remember that the only person whose behavior we can change is moi. The song lyrics come to mind, "Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me."
I want to step up my game today. How about you?
Friday, November 18, 2016
Change and survival
Many of us resist change so strongly. And yet it's such a normal part of life. Perhaps change would be easier to handle if we were more able to take it as it comes and flow with it.
A Charles Darwin quote comes to mind: "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
Perhaps each of us would do well to examine our thoughts and feelings about change—and be willing to make some adjustments in how we view it and face it. If you constantly struggle against change and fight it, think about all the energy you spend on that—especially if the change is inevitable anyway. See if you can approach it in another way. See whether you can lean into it and possibly even embrace it. Think about what might even be gained by the changes rather than simply focusing on what's lost.
I'm reflecting these days on what this means for me. What about you?
A Charles Darwin quote comes to mind: "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
Perhaps each of us would do well to examine our thoughts and feelings about change—and be willing to make some adjustments in how we view it and face it. If you constantly struggle against change and fight it, think about all the energy you spend on that—especially if the change is inevitable anyway. See if you can approach it in another way. See whether you can lean into it and possibly even embrace it. Think about what might even be gained by the changes rather than simply focusing on what's lost.
I'm reflecting these days on what this means for me. What about you?
Friday, September 16, 2016
Trust yourself—take a leap
Are you at a point of decision for your career? Or perhaps for your retirement vocation? Does a dream keep recurring and calling you to action? Or is there some other decision that's leaving you uncertain?
It can be frustrating to be in that state of discernment and ambiguity. However, it's also a fruitful place to be ... if you can simply lean into it and accept that you don't really know at the moment which is the right path for you.
If a particular career or job keeps coming back to you, perhaps through several different people and different channels, it's wise to pay attention. Perhaps that really is the direction you should go. Keep a tally of the signals you've received about whatever issue faces you. Sometimes signals come through dreams, sometimes from a friend; and other times it might be from a book you're reading. Be open and attentive.
And sometimes, you don't seem to see many signals at all. In his book Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, Gregg Levoy acknowledges the discomfort of uncertainty but adds: "...not knowing also has its own power. There is the power in trusting ourselves, relying on our intuitions, being able to act even in the face of uncertainty, rather than drone on for sometimes years with yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no, the very onomatopoeia of indecision. It can be more heroic to be willing to act in the absence of certainty than to refuse to act without absolute certainty."
Trust yourself. Listen to your intuition. If there are dots, connect them. If not, take a leap. If you end up thinking you made a mistake, learn its lessons and move on.
It can be frustrating to be in that state of discernment and ambiguity. However, it's also a fruitful place to be ... if you can simply lean into it and accept that you don't really know at the moment which is the right path for you.
If a particular career or job keeps coming back to you, perhaps through several different people and different channels, it's wise to pay attention. Perhaps that really is the direction you should go. Keep a tally of the signals you've received about whatever issue faces you. Sometimes signals come through dreams, sometimes from a friend; and other times it might be from a book you're reading. Be open and attentive.
And sometimes, you don't seem to see many signals at all. In his book Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life, Gregg Levoy acknowledges the discomfort of uncertainty but adds: "...not knowing also has its own power. There is the power in trusting ourselves, relying on our intuitions, being able to act even in the face of uncertainty, rather than drone on for sometimes years with yes-no-yes-no-yes-no-yes-no, the very onomatopoeia of indecision. It can be more heroic to be willing to act in the absence of certainty than to refuse to act without absolute certainty."
Trust yourself. Listen to your intuition. If there are dots, connect them. If not, take a leap. If you end up thinking you made a mistake, learn its lessons and move on.
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