I've never wanted my coaching business or my website to be political. And this blog most definitely is not a partisan one. But I do want to take this platform and this time to urge you to please go out and VOTE if you have not already done so. Be grateful that you are able to do so.
We are blessed in this country to have a democracy rather than an authoritarian regime. We are blessed to have the privilege—and the responsibility—to vote for those who will govern and lead us. People in many other countries of the world would be thrilled to have this right and responsibility.
And for those of us who are women, it's especially important to remember that it was only in 1920 that we won the right to vote. That privilege was hard-won and came after decades of a women's suffrage movement that saw women arrested, imprisoned, beaten, spit upon as they marched and protested, kicked out of their homes and families by husbands who were violently opposed to women getting the vote, force-fed in prison during hunger strikes (because the optics wouldn't be good for male leaders of the country who feared deaths could lead to sympathy for the suffragettes and their cause), losing jobs and more.
In one case in 1862 the Chief Justice of the North Carolina Supreme Court denied a divorce to a woman whose husband had horsewhipped her. The justice said, "The law gives the husband power to use such a degree of force necessary to make the wife behave and know her place."
We may take our rights for granted. But we shouldn't. We stand on the shoulders of those courageous women who fought for our rights. We have been empowered by their bravery! So let's be grateful—and let's exercise our rights!
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empowerment. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Friday, June 15, 2018
'Pain as propane'
On Wednesday, we talked about how we respond to difficulty, using a quote from Winston Churchill. After I wrote that blog, I read about a man who'd had a tough childhood and also as an adult, experienced several losses before finally getting his life together.
He didn't let his childhood or the losses stop him in his tracks, however. He didn't give up or get derailed. What he has done instead, he says, is to use "his pain as propane." That struck me as a great way to use adversity in our lives. That definitely doesn't mean we ignore the pain, difficulties and losses. No, we deal with them in appropriate ways—and then move on. We do not allow the painful situations of our lives to define us nor to be the last (or only) word.
Rather, we let the pain fuel and empower us. We let it spur us on to fulfilling our dreams and to becoming the people we want to be. That in turn often pushes us to empower others and help them transform pain, too.
Pain as propane—yes, pain and suffering can be transformative. In fact, I have heard many people say that it was through their cancer (or other serious illness) that they really came to learn many of their life lessons, create new dreams and appreciate life and loved ones.
He didn't let his childhood or the losses stop him in his tracks, however. He didn't give up or get derailed. What he has done instead, he says, is to use "his pain as propane." That struck me as a great way to use adversity in our lives. That definitely doesn't mean we ignore the pain, difficulties and losses. No, we deal with them in appropriate ways—and then move on. We do not allow the painful situations of our lives to define us nor to be the last (or only) word.
Rather, we let the pain fuel and empower us. We let it spur us on to fulfilling our dreams and to becoming the people we want to be. That in turn often pushes us to empower others and help them transform pain, too.
Pain as propane—yes, pain and suffering can be transformative. In fact, I have heard many people say that it was through their cancer (or other serious illness) that they really came to learn many of their life lessons, create new dreams and appreciate life and loved ones.
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Staying on good behavior
Most of us really do want to be our best selves. We try hard to take responsibility for our lives. We try to help others in whatever ways we can. We want to be good parents, good mates, good friends, good employees. And we're extremely disappointed in ourselves when we mess up.
Because of this, it's important to identify those things that trigger us to be less than our best or ideal selves. Are there certain behaviors in others that really set you off and pretty much guarantee that you'll come out with guns blazing? Not literally, of course. Behaviors that bring out the petulant child in you?
It's good to know your own triggers. Knowing what they are empowers you to make better choices when such situations occur.
A speaker recently reminded those of us in the audience that, in addition to any specific triggers we each have, an acronym expresses triggers common to us all. She encouraged us to think of the word HALT and tend to the needs expressed by it so we could avoid sinking into less-than-ideal behaviors.
HALT reminds us to ask these questions: Am I Hungry? Am I Angry? Am I Lonely? Am I Tired? Those four things are issues we're able to tend so we don't get triggered into bad behaviors. I know I'm paying more attention to those these days.
Because of this, it's important to identify those things that trigger us to be less than our best or ideal selves. Are there certain behaviors in others that really set you off and pretty much guarantee that you'll come out with guns blazing? Not literally, of course. Behaviors that bring out the petulant child in you?
It's good to know your own triggers. Knowing what they are empowers you to make better choices when such situations occur.
A speaker recently reminded those of us in the audience that, in addition to any specific triggers we each have, an acronym expresses triggers common to us all. She encouraged us to think of the word HALT and tend to the needs expressed by it so we could avoid sinking into less-than-ideal behaviors.
HALT reminds us to ask these questions: Am I Hungry? Am I Angry? Am I Lonely? Am I Tired? Those four things are issues we're able to tend so we don't get triggered into bad behaviors. I know I'm paying more attention to those these days.
Friday, October 27, 2017
Women finding their voices
If you've been awake at all these past few weeks, you will have heard of the "Me too" movement. When victims of movie producer Harvey Weinstein began coming forward with their stories of his sexual abuse and harassment, social media exploded. In huge numbers, women came forward with their own stories of abuse not only in Hollywood but in every career field and venue imaginable. What courage this takes!
Women began posting on their social media profiles that they had been victimized, and they encouraged others to simply put the words, "Me too" in the comment box and on their profile pages. The idea is simply to raise awareness of the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault in our society—to get women (and men, too) to raise their hands and say they have been affected. As The Atlantic put it, "There's a monumental amount of work to be done in confronting a climate of serial sexual predation—one in which women are belittled and undermined and abused and sometimes pushed out of their industries altogether. But uncovering the colossal scale of the problem is revolutionary in its own right."
The problem of sexual predation is an old one and runs deep in our society. It has been allowed to continue because of shame and secrecy. Victims are afraid to come forward because they'll be re-victimized, whether that be in the media, in the court system, by police or even by friends and family. Years ago in my life as a journalist, I interviewed dozens of victims of clergy sexual abuse. I was amazed by the number of church leaders and also church members who defended the abusive clergy and who blamed the victims. "She must've led him on." I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that! Abuse is never all right.
It's time for all this to stop. We women are finding our voices. That is powerful! We need to support and encourage each other in this. We need to empower each other. This absolutely needs to end. Women's lives do matter. And we need to add our voices to the huge chorus being raised these days. Me too!
Women began posting on their social media profiles that they had been victimized, and they encouraged others to simply put the words, "Me too" in the comment box and on their profile pages. The idea is simply to raise awareness of the prevalence of sexual harassment and assault in our society—to get women (and men, too) to raise their hands and say they have been affected. As The Atlantic put it, "There's a monumental amount of work to be done in confronting a climate of serial sexual predation—one in which women are belittled and undermined and abused and sometimes pushed out of their industries altogether. But uncovering the colossal scale of the problem is revolutionary in its own right."
The problem of sexual predation is an old one and runs deep in our society. It has been allowed to continue because of shame and secrecy. Victims are afraid to come forward because they'll be re-victimized, whether that be in the media, in the court system, by police or even by friends and family. Years ago in my life as a journalist, I interviewed dozens of victims of clergy sexual abuse. I was amazed by the number of church leaders and also church members who defended the abusive clergy and who blamed the victims. "She must've led him on." I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard that! Abuse is never all right.
It's time for all this to stop. We women are finding our voices. That is powerful! We need to support and encourage each other in this. We need to empower each other. This absolutely needs to end. Women's lives do matter. And we need to add our voices to the huge chorus being raised these days. Me too!
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Empowerment: Yes, it's important
The gender gap. Discussions about Black Lives Matter vs. All Lives Matter. Always, always concerns about who's in and who's out and about everyone getting a fair shake. A lot of talk about "the other," whoever that represents to each of us. These issues are of huge importance.
And since I'm extremely motivated to seek justice for all people, I paid special attention the other day when I received a flyer from the American Association of University Women, an organzation that's all about empowering women and girls.
The flyer pointed out that our "representative" democracy isn't really representative. It featured these facts:
• The U.S. population is 49 percent men and 51 percent women, including 20 percent women of color.
• The U.S. state legislatures are 75 percent men and 25 percent women, including 5 percent women of color.
• The U.S. Congress is 19.4 percent women, and it has 6.2 percent women of color.
• Of the 50 state governors, 42 are white men and 2 are men of color; 4 are white women and 2 are women of color.
Undeniably, there's a lot of anger in our country these days. I wonder if we'd get further if we did more to empower others rather than attack them. Just something to ponder....
And since I'm extremely motivated to seek justice for all people, I paid special attention the other day when I received a flyer from the American Association of University Women, an organzation that's all about empowering women and girls.
The flyer pointed out that our "representative" democracy isn't really representative. It featured these facts:
• The U.S. population is 49 percent men and 51 percent women, including 20 percent women of color.
• The U.S. state legislatures are 75 percent men and 25 percent women, including 5 percent women of color.
• The U.S. Congress is 19.4 percent women, and it has 6.2 percent women of color.
• Of the 50 state governors, 42 are white men and 2 are men of color; 4 are white women and 2 are women of color.
Undeniably, there's a lot of anger in our country these days. I wonder if we'd get further if we did more to empower others rather than attack them. Just something to ponder....
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Give voice to justice
Did you hear the sound of shattering glass this week? It doesn't
matter which political party you're in or what your feelings about any
of the candidates—something historic happened this week. It's the first
time in U.S. history that a woman became a presidential nominee for a
major political party.
I've spent so much of my life and energy fighting for women to be at the table, and I'm so aware of women across the globe who don't even have half the rights we've slowly gained here in the U.S.
I also keep thinking of my beloved mother, who left this earth in 2008. When she was born, women didn't even have the right to vote here in the U.S. And although she was a staunch Republican, I think she would have been elated to hear the sound of a glass ceiling shattered by Hillary Clinton Tuesday night, too. She always wanted my sister and me to have any opportunities we could and didn't want barriers to be put in our way.
This week has been one of reflection for me. We women have come a long way. On the other hand, things should never have been the way they were in the first place. Injustice everywhere. African Americans enslaved. No rights at all. Women unable to vote. The poor falling between the cracks. Struggling so hard just to get rights that should have been there in the beginning. But that's life, isn't it? When justice is important to us, we just keep speaking up and working to change the systems—and we don't just do it for ourselves. We do it for others, too, particularly those who have no voice. That's using our personal power for good in the world.
Who needs your voice today? What will you do about it?
I've spent so much of my life and energy fighting for women to be at the table, and I'm so aware of women across the globe who don't even have half the rights we've slowly gained here in the U.S.
I also keep thinking of my beloved mother, who left this earth in 2008. When she was born, women didn't even have the right to vote here in the U.S. And although she was a staunch Republican, I think she would have been elated to hear the sound of a glass ceiling shattered by Hillary Clinton Tuesday night, too. She always wanted my sister and me to have any opportunities we could and didn't want barriers to be put in our way.
This week has been one of reflection for me. We women have come a long way. On the other hand, things should never have been the way they were in the first place. Injustice everywhere. African Americans enslaved. No rights at all. Women unable to vote. The poor falling between the cracks. Struggling so hard just to get rights that should have been there in the beginning. But that's life, isn't it? When justice is important to us, we just keep speaking up and working to change the systems—and we don't just do it for ourselves. We do it for others, too, particularly those who have no voice. That's using our personal power for good in the world.
Who needs your voice today? What will you do about it?
Monday, March 23, 2015
Reclaiming personal power
Identify theft. We hear about it all the time. It's extremely common these days. We all know our information is out there for the taking, and we fear what it means if our identity is stolen. How would you react if you were a victim of this?
As I was on my treadmill last Friday, I saw a segment on NBC's "Today Show" that dealt with identity theft. A photographer had her identity stolen and decided to learn the identity of the thief. Once she learned who had stolen her wallet, she followed the thief, photographing her as she went. Eventually she put the photos up on display in a gallery, the one in which her wallet was originally stolen. Since then, the photo exhibit has also appeared in another gallery.
The victim took back her power and refused to remain a victim. She says she followed the identity thief so she could learn more about her and perhaps discover why someone would do such a thing. Other people have accused the victim of invading the privacy of the identity thief, however, and have called it revenge—a charge the photographer denies. She found the process cathartic. No doubt it brought her some peace of mind to remove herself from the role of victim. The same act can be viewed so differently.
How do you see what the photographer did? Is it revenge? Or is it an act that reclaims her personal power?
For me, it raises the question of where in my life I have been or still am a victim. What do I need to do to empower myself again? I invite you to ask the questions, too: Are you a victim somewhere in your life? What might you need to do to take back your power?
As I was on my treadmill last Friday, I saw a segment on NBC's "Today Show" that dealt with identity theft. A photographer had her identity stolen and decided to learn the identity of the thief. Once she learned who had stolen her wallet, she followed the thief, photographing her as she went. Eventually she put the photos up on display in a gallery, the one in which her wallet was originally stolen. Since then, the photo exhibit has also appeared in another gallery.
The victim took back her power and refused to remain a victim. She says she followed the identity thief so she could learn more about her and perhaps discover why someone would do such a thing. Other people have accused the victim of invading the privacy of the identity thief, however, and have called it revenge—a charge the photographer denies. She found the process cathartic. No doubt it brought her some peace of mind to remove herself from the role of victim. The same act can be viewed so differently.
How do you see what the photographer did? Is it revenge? Or is it an act that reclaims her personal power?
For me, it raises the question of where in my life I have been or still am a victim. What do I need to do to empower myself again? I invite you to ask the questions, too: Are you a victim somewhere in your life? What might you need to do to take back your power?
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