Try some quiet & cozy time

Have you ever heard of the Danish/Norwegian term "hygge"? Pronounced "hue-gah," it's a concept that can't be directly translated into English but embraces such things as feelings of cozy contentment and well-being through simplicity. Reading a book on a rainy day. A cup of hot cocoa or a coffee latte on a snowy day. Nights in front of the fireplace listening to music or reading a book. Think simple. Think serenity.

You may have noticed through the years that Denmark always is at the top of the list of "happiest countries," and this may well be the reason for that. The word itself is derived from a Norwegian word that means "well-being."

The concept is beginning to trend in other places around the world. Perhaps we Americans, who seem to glorify the word "busy," might benefit from some hygge in our lives?!

One of my YaYa friends introduced the concept to us recently and invited us to reflect on it, and sometime in the new year we'll discuss what we think about it and how we're embracing the idea in our lives. Since I've been feeling completely stressed and on the edge for a while now, I decided already a couple nights ago to start. I decorated my Christmas tree and then spent the evening just quietly looking at the lights, listening to some of my favorite Christmas carols while sipping a glass of Bailey's Irish Cream. It was just perfect, and I slept better that night than I have for a while!

I invite you, in this crazy-busy season, to add a little hygge to your life too. Perhaps you'll want to build it in permanently. That's what I'm hoping to do!

Purpose and simplicity

Have you thought about simplifying your life at all? Several people I know are talking about it. Some are downsizing. Some are cutting back on activities, creating more open space in their lives. A few are cutting back to part-time work. One friend is even reflecting on the time she spends with friends to be sure these really are the people with whom she wants to devote her precious time.

Here's an interesting quote from French writer and Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard: "Simplifying our lives does not mean sinking into idleness, but on the contrary, getting rid of the most subtle aspect of laziness: the one which makes us take on thousands of less important activities."

I just came across that quote recently, and I admit that I need to really think more about it. It's surprising, isn't it, to hear the term "laziness" used for a life that is filled with an over-abundance of activities?

And yet, a multitude of "less important activities" can keep us from the most important work in our lives—the real purpose of your life or mine. If you feel that's true for your life, what are you willing to do about it? What changes would you like to make? Do you know what your really important work is right now? What would it take to focus on that? Remember, purpose is much more than your job or your career.

Simplifying isn't easy

How much is enough? How much is too much? Can I be happy with far less than I have?

Do you ever ask yourself those questions? Most of us have lots of stuff. And often when we get to a certain point in our lives, we think about getting rid of some of that stuff. It's called downsizing.

However, if you're like me, you can still easily get drawn into another purchase or two. Oh, that lovely purple jacket would look so great with my gray slacks. Those earrings are on sale—and, really, they're just the perfect touch. Why shouldn't I have this lovely Christmas centerpiece for my table? If I buy this book used, it really won't cost much; so why shouldn't I add it to my own library rather than borrow it from the public library? That way I can underline and mark it up. On and on it goes.

A friend just told me about a woman she knows who won't bring anything new into the house unless she takes something equivalent out of the house, giving it to Goodwill or some other organization that will sell it to someone else at a reduced rate.

I go through my closets on a fairly regular basis to clean out things I haven't worn in a long while. Others may as well have the use of them. But even if I didn't buy another piece of clothing in the next decade, I wouldn't be in trouble. I suspect that's true of most of us.

So what are we to do? How do you deal with this issue of too much stuff? Are you able to simplify? Can you resist the temptation to buy more? I'd love to know your secrets to simplifying and downsizing.

'The place just right'

The other morning I awoke to the sounds of my favorite classical radio station playing a delightful version of the Shaker tune "'Tis the Gift to Be Simple" with Yo-Yo Ma on cello and Alison Krauss singing. The tune is so beautiful, and this version was clear, pure and simple. It fit the title of the song perfectly. It so caught my attention that morning that I looked at the words anew that day. I've known that song for years.

Do you know it? Google the lyrics or check out YouTube where there will be several versions. It's definitely worth a look and a listen.

"'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free
"'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be
"And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
"'Twill be in the valley of love and delight."

And that's just the first verse! There's a lot upon which to reflect just in those words. Simplicity. Freedom. Being where you're meant to be—"the place just right." Love. Delight. Gifts.

Are you in "the place just right" in your life right now? Do you know what place that is, first of all? And what would it take for you to get there?

If you'd like some conversation around this topic, please contact me for a complimentary coaching session. 

What do you carry?

Simplify, simplify, simplify. We hear that a lot these days. And it can mean many things from downsizing our homes to cutting down our activities.

It means to engage the letting go process—in so many areas of life. I like to think of my stage of life as a time to clarify what's truly important to me. By now I have a pretty good idea of the things I value most. But I haven't always shed or let go of some of the nonessentials. That's just as important as clarifying what's essential to me.

One question that keeps arising for me these days is: What am I carrying? Again, that can mean physical things—perhaps I really do have too much "stuff" and need to carry less of it around. After all, our stuff can own us after a while rather than the other way around, particularly when we consider the time we spend tending to it, cleaning it up, worrying about it, storing it, etc.

But even beyond that, what things am I carrying inside that I no longer need? Am I carrying anger, resentments, old tales, drama that's gotten attached to some life events, pain, old ideas that no longer work (if ever they really did!)? So what am I carrying? That's one question. The next question is: What do I truly need? What's essential?

How would you answer those questions?

Count your blessings

Some friends and I spent several hours this past Sunday at our friend Lynn's home. On her mantle she had two decorative plaques, each containing one word. One was "simplify" and the other was "blessings."

Lynn explained that she put them together because she noticed that it's when she simplifies her life and her surroundings that she is far more aware of her blessings. Yes!

Lynn always has such profound insights. That one really resonated—in so many ways. When my life is chaotic and too full of activities and tasks, I don't pause to reflect on my blessings. And when I don't do that, I don't even see many of them that are there every day. When my head is full of inner voices—many of which no longer belong there or really never did (you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough; you really screwed up there; who do you think you are; and many more)—I most definitely am not noticing all the blessings in my life. When I'm surrounded by too many belongings and too much "stuff," my attention goes to care and maintenance of that—and I don't focus on my blessings either.

What a good reminder: Simplify. Get rid of some of the stuff around you and some of the activities or tasks that aren't really necessary. Let go of internal voices that stop you from being the beautiful soul you were meant to be. And notice. Notice all the blessings and gifts in your life. Be thankful for them.

I know I'm going to think about Lynn's reflection and see what it means for my life. Starting today!