Thank your body

Earlier this week at my yoga class, when several people complained about aches and pains, our instructor reminded us of how much all the parts of our body do and have done for us. Take our feet, for example, she pointed out—think of the miles and miles they've taken you, think of how they've supported you, and think of how they continue to serve you as you get done what needs doing.

Look at your hands and consider the joy and comfort they've brought others, all that they have done and continue to do. Take time to consider your whole body, inside and out, and what each part does. Amazing, right?

She reminded us of how much we take every part of our body for granted, and she encouraged us to thank each part and take good care of our bodies.

What a great reminder. The yoga session that day was enveloped in the gratitude each of us felt for our bodies. Yoga is always a good start to my day and to my week. But that Monday morning session was exceptional and got my week off to a good start. I don't want to forget that.

Take time today to consider all your body has done and continues to do for you. Find ways to care for it and thank it!

Let your soul catch up with your body

I recently heard a story about the Himalayan Sherpas who help climbers to the summits—sometimes they simply stop climbing and put down their equipment. Impatient climbers ask why they can't keep moving and pushing on, but the Sherpas calmly reply that they're waiting for their souls to catch up with their bodies.

As soon as I heard this, I resonated with the idea. Lately I've been running so fast—gone from home more days than I was home these past several weeks, and often a week at a time. Many but not all of the events that took me from home were fun and happy occasions. Still, it was just too much running for me, at least at this stage of life. I have been missing my quiet times, my times of reflection and inspirational reading, time to quietly sip more than one cup of coffee! I missed making my own schedule and finding time for reading.

Right now I need time for my soul to catch up with my body. I love that idea! With gratitude to the Sherpas for the phrase, this is exactly what I need. Do you need that, too, at times?

Each one of us will have different ways we help our souls catch up with our bodies. Now I need to make sure I carve out time and engage in practices that will allow this to happen. Think about what helps you do that—and be sure you do those good things for your body and soul!

Self-care and the brain

A recent report published by the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine says that there's some evidence that the following things may help prevent age-related dementia and cognitive decline: staying active, keeping your blood pressure under control and stepping up cognitive training (exercises that try to improve reasoning, problem-solving, memory and processing speed).

The findings underscore those of the Alzheimer's Association two years ago when it was learned that increasing physical activity and improving cardiovascular health could help minimize the risk of cognitive decline.

While there's no guarantee and both organizations say further research is needed, they also agree that there are things we can do to reduce the risk.

Such actions are simply part of good self-care and tending to our health and well-being. It's good to be as proactive as we can when it comes to health. We do as much and more for our cars with regular maintenance! Why not for our bodies and minds?

Let your body play

I won't forget the wonderful moments we spent nor will I forget how truly relaxed and free I felt at the time—and later as well!

I'm part of a small but close-knit group of women that we call the YaYas. A couple months ago we rented a small house for a long weekend together. Each of us planned activities for the weekend, and together we did some cooking. We also ate out and spent time exploring the lake-side city nearby. It was a fabulous, fun and relaxing weekend.

One of the in-home activities I remember so well required each of us, ahead of time, to send the name of our favorite dance tune and artist to the woman who planned this segment. She put together the play list, and she was the only one who knew each of our favorites. We didn't tell each other ahead of time.

When she went through the play list, we each just danced free-form, spreading throughout the open space of the living area in the house. We just moved our bodies, letting go of any "shoulds" and embarrassment. No one else was watching. Pure play! What fun we had letting our bodies move to the music! When the entire play list finished, we tried to guess who had picked which dance tune.

This experience came to mind today as I read from Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick's book, Coming Home to Myself: "Allow the body to play. Give it space. Let it make whatever movements it wants to make. Just as a dream is an invitation to the unconscious, so releasing your body into spontaneous movement or play is an invitation to the unconscious."

We could all use more of this, right?

Be good to your body and brain

Several months ago the AARP Bulletin featured a cover story with 50 ways to live longer. It was filled with suggestions such as cutting back on pain pills, getting sufficient sleep each night, reducing sugar intake, etc.

One of the suggestions jumped out at me. It followed the suggestion to drive less, and it was "Better yet walk." Reminding us that a great prescription for longer life is to exercise, the article said that doctors are actually prescribing walks instead of medication. Wow, what a great idea! There are so many benefits to walking—particularly now when in most parts of the country, weather is lovely and permits walks in nature. We get the health benefits of movement, and we get to soak up the beauty of nature as well.

Claude Bouchard, director of the human genomics laboratory at Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Louisiana said, "There is no pill that comes close to what exercise can do." It benefits our brain, heart, skin, mood and metabolism. And that's good self-care.

I've heard it said that sitting is the new smoking. And many of us sit at computers, sit in a workplace, sit in cars, and sit some more! So I'm talking to myself here—and to you, too: Let's be good to our brains, hearts, skin, moods and metabolism and fit in some walking (or other exercise) today! Your body and brain will thank you.

Sshhh, what's your body saying?

For most of us, our minds are so busy with chatter all the time that we don't even hear what our bodies are saying. We are used to our minds running the show. Ever think about that?

But do you ever stop to ask what your body—or various parts of it—might want or need? And then really stop to listen? Sometimes our bodies are practically screaming out to us for some attention: Please slow down. I need more sleep. Help, don't keep making me jump on this hard surface; this pounding hurts my knees. The Advil didn't really help the headache; I just need you to get quiet for a while.

And sometimes, when our bodies have cried out for attention and we've paid none, they'll break down. We get sick. We sprain an ankle, break a leg.

I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to pushing through and ignoring the body's signals. But I am trying these days to notice more, to stop and listen. Why does my knee hurt lately? What's it trying to tell me? What type of care does it want? These frequent headaches—what are those telling me? Am I letting the stress of this situation get to me?

Check in with your body from time to time. See what your body needs. And don't forget to thank your body for all it has done and still does for you. It's a pretty incredible machine—and, no doubt, has seen you through a lot in life already!

Take a hike. Get creative.

Interestingly, there is research now that shows the positive effects on our brain activity that being outdoors in nature can have. Last year Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences published a study showing the positive effect on participants of a 90-minute walk through a natural environment. Those who did so showed far lower levels of brooding or excessive worry than those who walked through a city.

Another study done by psychologists Ruth Ann Atchley and David L. Strayer showed a 50 percent increase in creativity and problem-solving skills by people after a four-day-long hike in the wilderness with no technology. In addition, being outdoors and active has been shown to reduce the symptoms of ADHD.

Even getting out into nature for five minutes at a time gives your self-esteem a good boost, showed a 2010 report in the Journal of Environmental Science and Technology. Being out for the entire day resulted in a huge jump, and walking near water had the biggest effect.

Grab your boots or comfortable shoes—and head out the door. It'll be good for your brain and your body!

Ssshhh, listen to your body

So here's a true confession for you: I'm not good at listening to my body. I want to be. I know it's important. But many times, I'll keep on pushing even when my body is tired, thinking I simply have to get my to-do list done. Sometimes, even when my body is full, I'll have just that extra small helping of the delicious dessert. I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.

One of the things I want to do this year is be better about listening to my body—when it wants sleep, when it's satisfied but not yet full, when it simply needs for me to slow down a bit, when it needs activity or exercise, etc. After years of "pushing through" no matter what, I suspect it will take me a while to learn to listen.

So yesterday my body got my attention! I awoke with an internal to-do list for the day, but it didn't take long to register that I felt a bit queasy and just off. Oh, dear, what's that about? Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: Hmmm, perhaps my body is telling me that I need a day to just "be"—to slow down and refrain from running from one task to the next activity all day long. So I did. I just rested. I even took a nap. I drank a lot of fluids and only fed my body what appealed to me, which wasn't much.

Ever have that happen? If we aren't paying attention, our bodies do have a way of getting a message across. Sometimes the message comes in the form of illness. Perhaps I'm fortunate that it was simply a day of queasiness. But I'm listening now ... and I hope I don't forget to keep listening! Are you listening to yours? Check in on your needs.

Thank your body

Last week I saw a post on Facebook that the mother of a young woman shared. It was poignant and made me sad—and angry.

The mother had taken her daughter shopping for a dress for an upcoming formal. When the daughter tried on a lovely long red dress, the sales clerk told the daughter she needed to wear Spanx if she intended to buy that dress. For those unfamiliar with Spanx, just know they're undergarments intended to make the wearer look slimmer and more shapely.

What was the end result of that comment? The daughter felt ashamed of her body. There was nothing wrong with her body as it was. The clerk was going for perfection, no doubt. But who among us has a perfect body? And who cares?

In posting the photo of her daughter, the mother shared her anger that the clerk made her daughter feel ashamed of her body. This is nothing new. We women have been told for centuries that we should be concerned if our bodies aren't perfect, perfection always being defined by some external entity, of course.

Let's not fall for this. Let's be proud of our bodies. Let's be grateful for all those bodies do for us. Walk. Hold and hug. Draw. Type. Run. Create new life. Breathe. Fly planes. Design buildings or clothes. The list is absolutely endless.

And let's care for our bodies. Give them healthy food, sufficient rest, good exercise. Let's not let anyone shame us into hating our bodies. Enough of that already.

Your elusive self-worth

I was asked recently to write an article about girls, women and self-worth for a women's magazine for which I'm currently serving as interim editor. The whole issue of body image, self-esteem and feelings of value and worth are something I've worked on for years—and I'm well aware that a majority of us have at least some doubts about our self-worth and body image.

We've talked about this before in these blogs. We are surrounded by media messages that tell us we're not good enough—that we have to be slender, tiny, blonde and beautiful to be of value. And guess what? Most of us don't weigh 100 pounds, wear a size 0 dress and have flawless and perfect skin.

Can we tune out those messages? Can we instead focus on the things we like about ourselves? Might we thank our bodies for all they've done and do for us rather than hate them for not being 100 pounds and size 0?

Two years ago a friend of mine had a birthday party at which we also honored ourselves as women. One of the things my friend had us do was to make a list of women we admired—and of the traits we admired in them. Then we culled from that the four attributes we most liked—and finally, we listed four attributes we most liked about ourselves. It was a good exercise. After looking at others we admire (that's always easier, isn't it?), it forced us to look at our own attributes—and celebrate them.

Why not try that today? Then celebrate your body, your abilities and yourself!

What the body knows

Have you ever had a day where you really felt down about life in general but weren't sure why you felt that way? You couldn't identify a situation or cause for the way you felt.

I've heard it said that our bodies retain memories from the past about which our minds may not be aware any longer. So sometimes it can happen that you feel down because the body remembers an event or situation that happened on that day long ago. Your conscious mind no longer remember it—although if you dig deeply enough in your memory, it may come back. But your body does and is grieving—or is simply remembering.

If that's ever happened to you, simply accept that your body has rhythms and memories of its own that can sometimes be quite different from those of the mind. Having a down day may be the body's way of grieving. Often, the feeling passes in a day or two.

That is a time when acceptance is important. The phrase "Go with the flow" also comes to mind. Don't fight the feeling. Simply be with it and honor the body's need to remember something your mind may not. We are extremely complex creatures, are we not? Things such as this sometimes make no sense to us. Just accept your complexities and don't ignore what's happening. It's OK. It's normal. You're OK.

Thank your body

It's so easy to get caught up in anxiety about body image, weight and dress size. So many messages come at us all the time to tell us what the perfect female form should look like. And already at age 8 (and sometimes younger), girls worry that they're too fat even when they don't have any fat on their bodies. Perhaps they see too many Barbie dolls in the store. No one looks like that, and young girls certainly should not aspire to such a model.

Because of all that, I loved the message in my May/June Weight Watchers magazine. It appeared in the editor's comments as she talked about positive body image and ways to give our confidence a boost. She said, "Start by celebrating your body for what it's capable of doing rather than worrying how it looks."

What a great idea! Think of all the things your body has done for you through the years. Perhaps it has given birth to babies, cradled them, walked them as they cried, raised them into adulthood, traveled to many states and perhaps countries, held down a career, walked or run miles and miles as you went about your activities through your lifetime, created nutritious meals, handed out hugs and so much more. Did you ever stop to say "Thank you" to your body and all its parts? Really, that might be a good thing to do. It's something we take for granted ... until things go wrong and we can't do what we always did before.

It's no small thing—what the body and all its parts do for us. It's also helpful to change the focus from our weight and dress size to all the ways our bodies perform.

Aging & limitations

Have you experienced some loss of agility, mobility or capacity as you age? If you have, and if you're like most of the rest of us, you feel a sense of loss about that.

Our hearing and eyesight decline, new aches and pains surface, we are diagnosed with one ailment or another (or perhaps several)—and sometimes, we even face serious and difficult illness. We can't move as quickly as we used to do. We awaken in the morning a little more stiff. We may even have to give up some activities we used to enjoy because our bodies just don't cooperate anymore.

While we want to take the aging process and bodily changes in stride, it's also important to take time to grieve those losses that really affect us. If you keenly feel one or more of these losses, take time to do some grief work, whatever that may look like for you. Perhaps it means some sort of ritual or talking it over with trusted friends. It may mean drawing and/or journaling about it. What will help you pay attention to your feelings and then let go? What will help you move on to embrace what you can do?

Death isn't the only loss that's worthy of grieving. Many of life's losses need attention. Certainly aging and limitations that accompany it deserve attention. Once you acknowledge the loss and grieve it, you can more easily move on to a place of hope. Then it's easier to be with what is rather than constantly living in anger, resentment, shame or fear about what was and what's ahead. What needs attention in your life today?

Learn to love your body

Yesterday I blogged about the necessity of listening to our bodies. Here's another thing we women can learn as we age: We can learn to love our bodies, no matter what shape or condition they're in.

Recently I saw a cartoon showing a slender woman looking in the mirror. The image staring back at her was that of a very large woman with bulges and extra weight. The next frame showed a very large, overweight man looking in the mirror; and what he saw was a well-sculpted, muscular young body. Now this is a bit sexist, perhaps, but there is some truth to it, too. We women never think our bodies are good enough. Men seem to have fewer issues with theirs.

As author Patricia Lynn Reilly says in Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself: Embracing Your Wisdom and Wholeness, "Most women scrutinize every detail of their bodies under an unmerciful magnifying glass. They inspect their bodies, searching for flaws: too big, too small; too much, too little; too round, too flat; too tall, too short. Over time, we develop a chronic resentment toward our bodies because they are always falling short of perfection as defined by the culture, our families, a current lover and ourselves. They are never quite good enough no matter what we do to them."

What if instead we honored our bodies "as the sacred temple of the spirit of life," as Reilly puts it? What if we are grateful for all the things our bodies have done for us through the years? Think of all your hands have done. Your legs and arms. Your neck. Your hips and chest. Every part has performed in amazing ways through the years. Let's be grateful for each part. And let's give some tender care to our bodies and maybe even learn to love them!

When your body speaks, listen

Have you spent most of your life ignoring the needs of your body, just expecting it to do everything you want to do? Yup, me, too.

As you and I age, our bodies seem to speak up more! There's a little creak here and a groan there. Feet hurt. Knees buckle. Repetitive motion causes pain one place or another.

Maybe it's time to listen! In the midst of your busy life, perhaps it's time to pay attention to what your body needs. Maybe you don't have to push yourself so hard anymore. Isn't it possible that someone else can lift and carry those heavy loads? Or can the load be broken up into several smaller ones? Do you really have to work 10- to 12-hour days?

Perhaps it's time to learn to take breathers. To rest occasionally. To treat yourself to yoga classes, tai chi, occasional massages and other things that open up those tight and tense muscles. Maybe, dare I say it, you could even learn to take an occasional nap? Oh, I know, you and I have so much to do that we just don't have time to stop. But once rested, perhaps we'd even accomplish more. And be even more creative.

One thing I've learned, however: If you don't take care of your body and listen to what it wants and needs, it will find a way to get what it needs. It will get sick or break down in some way that's far less desirable than the self-care methods you can learn now to employ.

What one thing will you do today to engage in better self-care for your body?

Love your body

I saved the card. I liked its message in 2007 when I received it "just because." And I like its message today. So I'm going to share it with you. It came from a dear friend with whom I've been on a journey that embraces so many things—one of them being how we view our bodies, weight loss, being healthy and all that surrounds those issues so many of us face.

"Let's start a revolution," the card says. "Let's be BOLD. Let's love our tummies, our wrinkles, and curves. Let's celebrate our hips and thighs and all the parts of us the magazines say are too big or too small.

"Let's applaud our flaws and scars, and enjoy that we don't have to be air-brushed perfection. Let's say, "I LOVE MY BODY" and mean it, and feel comfortable in our own skin.

"Let's eat a meal and not feel guilty, and exercise because it feels good. Let's listen to our bodies and follow our intuition.

"Let's set our own standards of beauty—and open our eyes to how gorgeous we already are."

I really can't add anything more to that message. That card says it all. Print this out and tack it up somewhere. Read it. Again and again. Believe it. Let it live inside you! Share it with your friends.

You ARE gorgeous!

Aging beautifully

"My grandson told me I had a wattle," one woman said laughingly, "but he loves me and I know he didn't mean it to be hurtful." Another woman said she'd earned her brown spots and wrinkles and had no plans to change them. Yet another advised keeping a sense of humor about the entire aging process.

My 6-year-old granddaughter loves to play with my loose skin and run her fingers over the raised blue veins in my hands. "Grandma Sonia, you're old," she told me once, simply making an observation. Yes, compared to her—and even compared to her parents, I am old! She's right. Not as old as I hope to be, certainly. But old to her. Yet she knows I'm always ready to get down on the floor and play with her or go to the park and run or swing like a young girl.

What's your attitude toward your aging process? Have you made friends with your aging body? With any of the sags or wrinkles that might appear? With a hair or two in brand new places?

Self-love is important. And I totally agree with the woman who advised keeping a sense of humor about aging. As you age, you have a wonderful opportunity to focus on healthy living—on caring for yourself, eating well, getting plenty of sleep, practicing gratitude, focusing on the positive, letting go of negativity and regret, forgiving more (yourself and others), following your passion and, yes, even creating new dreams!

What's more beautiful than that? Forget the wrinkles, the brown spots, the bad neck, the body parts following the pull of gravity. Focus on your health and on cultivating deep inner joy. Need some help doing that? Contact me—and let's talk!

Your body can tell you

Sometimes a client will have so much going on in her life that her head is just swimming with details, to-do lists, "shoulds" and questions. I know that feeling.

So when I ask, "Where are you today?" she isn't even sure. It's tough to pinpoint when so much is swirling around. And it's difficult to work on things when focus isn't even possible.

Has that happened to you? Those are the times to pause, breathe deeply for a little while and then check in with different parts of your body. Where are you feeling tension? Your neck? Back? Legs? What is the nature of the tension? Like something pressing down on you? Constricting? Knots in your neck and shoulders? When have you felt that type of stress in that area before? And what did it signal?

Your body knows
Generally, checking in with your body will help you focus on what's happening right at that moment—and tell you what needs attention. Remember to do what you can to slow down your breathing—and to deepen it, too. Often when we're extremely stressed, our breathing is shallow and rapid, causing us to be even more stressed.

Once you focus on what's going on with you in that moment, imagine putting all the other issues in a drawer temporarily so you can deal with what most needs your attention. You can always go back to the drawer to pull out another problem or issue when you're ready to tackle it. Face your stress a little at a time—don't try to take it all in a single bite! And let your body help you.

How did you love your body today?

What, you ask. Did you say love my body?! Yes, I did.

We women have received many media messages about our bodies. Mostly, we come to believe that we simply don’t measure up (no matter how fit we are or what size we wear).

What if you loved your body and treated it well? Stop a moment and think about all your body has done for you: carrying you from place to place, walking, dancing, perhaps birthing and carrying babies, holding and rocking them, and so much more. Think, too, of how you have treated it. Have you pushed it to its limits, perhaps operating on little or no sleep at times, maybe filling it with unhealthy food and doing so in a hurry so you could get on with your day? Have you starved it with dieting, trying to be what the fashion magazines told you to be?

Coach Christine Arylo (www.madlyinlovewithme.com) says that your body is your temple. She invites you to “transform your relationship with your body to one full of unconditional love and respect.” Ah, what a wonderful invitation.

How different would your life be if you loved your body, if you saw it as a temple, if you treated it well and fed it good things? Why not start today? Put a post-it note on your mirror as a daily reminder.