Friday, January 20, 2012

Carrying a grudge? Still angry?

I thought I’d let go of my anger. But when I heard myself answering a question from a new acquaintance about my job loss, I caught the heavy emotion in my words. Whoops, I thought, I guess I’m still pretty angry with my old boss. Guess I still have more letting go to do. I guess I need to practice some more forgiveness.

Back to the drawing board again. As I’ve said in previous blog posts, letting go is a process. Well, so is forgiveness.

Typically, we need to let go, let go again, and then let go some more. Same with forgiveness. Have you noticed that?

Bless, don’t curse
Back to my job loss. My mentor coach told me about her “Bless and release” program some time ago when I told her I still felt anger toward my old boss. She said that when she feels anger toward someone, she sends a blessing their way and then lets go. And she keeps repeating that process—as long as it takes. Sort of like the “catch and release” of fishing, right? Catch that feeling, change it to a blessing, then let go.

I will confess, this has taken me longer than I thought. And I will tell you right here and now: Even when I think I’ve really forgiven and let go, sometimes pieces of my anger still come back and bite me. And then I “bless and release” all over again. Don’t worry about counting how many times you do this. Do it as often and as long as needed!

So here’s my way of practicing “Bless and release:” Each morning in my Gratitude Journal, I wrote how grateful I was to my former boss for RIFing me and essentially kicking me out of the nest, because I learned how to fly on the way down! I was now soaring in a whole new career! Many days when I wrote this in my journal, I didn’t necessarily feel thankful. Over time, however, I began to feel what I wrote on the page. In time, the blessing felt more authentic.

Now I feel so much lighter, so much freer. Yay, I can soar like that butterfly that emerged from the cocoon.

Does that sound like something you’d like to try? Add it to your “tool kit” today, and let us know how it works for you.

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