Thursday, January 19, 2012

Me? In a cocoon?

What happens for you inside the cocoon? Yesterday we talked about what happens when something in our life ends and before the new beginning occurs. We talked about time in the cocoon—or what author William Bridges calls the “neutral zone.”

So what happens to you when you’re in the cocoon stage of transition? It’s a time of inner work. You might be one of those who love to spend time in reflection and inner work. Or you may do anything to avoid it. No matter where you fall on the spectrum of doing inner emotional work, try to find some way of doing what’s needed so you can move beyond the cocoon and into that new beginning. New dreams cannot begin until you let go of the old ones.

Grief—and letting go
In yesterday’s blog post we spoke of the ending, the neutral zone and the new beginning that happen when change occurs. All change involves some loss, even when you choose that change. When you decide to move to a new home, for example, no matter how excited you are about that move, you will still experience some loss as you leave your present home.

Losses need to be grieved. I encourage you to do that in whatever ways work for you. Then you will want to let go. Is it a person you need to let go? A role? A place? First determine which of those you must tend to. Then think of the feelings associated with the loss. Are you angry? Sad? Let go of those feelings, too. When you carry around anger or strong emotions about an old situation, it holds you captive. It’s impossible to really move on when you’re still tied to the old.

I recommend a book that I use frequently when I find myself stuck with the letting-go process: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? by Linda Douty. This is an extremely practical and insightful book. In addition, I’d be happy to talk with you in a complimentary, no-obligation phone consultation to discuss the value of “cocoon time.” Please click on Contact Me to schedule a consultation.

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