Thursday, May 10, 2012

What's good about anger?

Have you been taught, as I was, that anger in a woman is unattractive and should be avoided at all costs? It's been said that men get to have anger as an emotion, and women get to have sadness.

What I have learned through my life experience, however, is that there can be an upside to anger. A dear friend of mine, Martha O. Adams, in her book of poetry titled Peeling the Rind included a line that struck me when I first read it 12 years ago and that lives with me still: "Mine the gold in anger."

Gold in anger? Yes, there is an energy in anger that can be mined and used. Am I recommending you go around angry all the time? Of course not. What I have learned—and do recommend, however—is to notice when you are really angry about something. See what that anger is telling you: Is there some injustice that needs to be righted? Do you need to change something in your life? Change a relationship, or get out of it? Switch jobs or careers? Speak up about something? Use the energy in your anger to propel you to make the necessary change—to find your voice. Then let go of the anger.

Don't carry the anger
It's not wise to carry around the anger. Accumulated anger becomes a huge weight not unlike a ball-and-chain on your ankle. But to do as my friend Martha suggests and "mine the gold" in it can move you forward.

Author Sue Patton Thoele in The Woman's Book of Confidence also advises: "We women, with fires burning deeply in our hearts over the ills in our world, country, community, and in our own homes, have the ability to be a revolutionary force to be reckoned with as we fight for love, personal freedom, and an awareness of the connectedness of all persons and things."

Tend to any anger you feel today. See what it's telling you. Use its energy. Then let go. See how good you'll feel!

No comments:

Post a Comment