Thursday, February 21, 2013

Listen to yourself

Pay attention to what you're saying—your inner and outer language. And pay attention to how you're saying those words. Listen to yourself.

Have you ever caught yourself telling someone something and realized later that there was more intensity there than you'd realized? And you knew that you needed to pay attention to that. I've had that happen several times.

Several months ago an acquaintance asked me about my former job in journalism. As I talked about having lost that job, I realized that I still had some pretty strong feelings about having been Reduced In Force. I knew it was time (again!) to stop and do some more letting go around that. I've done lots of letting go since I lost my job in 2009. Lots of grieving. Lots of journaling. Lots of inner (and outer) work around all that it meant for me. But still it comes back from time to time and wants attention.

When that happens, it's time to stop and see what's going on inside. When I did that this time, I realized it wasn't that I longed to be back in that job again. I don't. I absolutely love my new career in life coaching. What I was feeling was the sting of not having been able to make my own choice about when to end my journalism career. Especially for an Enneagram 8, which I am, being able to make my own choices is a big issue. I needed to acknowledge, again, that I didn't get to make that particular choice and that it was over and done. Period. Let go, Sonia. Let go. Reframe it, if possible, and move on. It was time to remember the words of a life coach with whom I worked a year after my job loss. She told me to "bless and release" my former boss. "Bless him for kicking you out of the nest," she said at the time, "because you learned how to fly on the way down" (referring to me having created a new dream and career for myself). "Bless him—and release him." Good advice. I did it. But, clearly, I needed to do it again.

Is there something you're hearing today in your words that wants your attention?

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