Thursday, February 14, 2013

Say what you feel

Are you good at telling others what you feel? Or even admitting it to yourself? Or are you a peace-keeper and a conflict-avoider to the point where you suppress your feelings?

The third of the top five regrets of people on their deathbed according to Bronnie Ware in her book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying is: "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings." Ware says that many people "settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

If it's a challenge for you to say what you feel because you fear what others might think, try to make one small step toward expressing yourself. Ask yourself if what you fear really is likely to happen. Will the other person really get angry? Not speak to you again? Leave the relationship? Then ask yourself if that would happen, would you be able to survive it? Think about ways of expressing yourself that don't sound edgy.

Try to deconstruct the fears you have about expressing your feelings and find a way to say what you feel. Let go of bitterness and resentment. Let go some more. I invite you to not carry all that around and make yourself sick. And please do contact me if you would like a complimentary, no-obligation strategy session around this issue.

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