Time to refuel?

Author, speaker and workshop leader Arnie Kozak wisely once said, "Like trying to cut wood with a dull axe, trying to take care of others without taking care of the self first is a counterproductive strategy."

And yet ... and yet, don't we often try to do that? We see someone else in need of care, and we dive in, often letting go of our own self-care practices. This can be especially true of full-time caregivers, for whom time is an extremely precious commodity. It's so easy to not carve out time for yourself in those situations. But it truly is counterproductive.

We hear this every time we fly on an airplane, too: In case of emergency, put on your own oxygen mask before you put on someone else's. That's always a good reminder.

If you think self-care if selfish and that the above advice is wrong, just imagine trying to pour water from a pitcher that hasn't been refilled or trying to drive a car with an empty gas tank. We can't run on empty either. Something has to give.

Take time today to refuel or fill back up if you're feeling worn out, run down or depleted. It's OK. More than OK, it's essential!

Too busy? Stop it—right now!

In the summer issue of The Magnolia Journal, guest columnist Shauna Niequist talks about being so busy that she "was in grave danger of becoming someone I didn't recognize, someone I didn't want to be." She says she "allowed busyness and work and achievement to edge out some of the best parts of me."

Do you relate to that at all? It doesn't matter whether you're still knee-deep in a career or whether you're retired. It doesn't matter whether you have children at home or you don't. It's all too easy to get caught up in the busyness. Being too busy is almost a badge of honor in some circles.

But is that really how we want to live? Does that allow the best parts of us to show through? Or do we stand in danger of becoming people we don't want to be?

Here's the deal: There is some choice that is possible. Granted, there are some must-do things on the to-do lists of all of us. But there are plenty of other things that are a matter of choice—including things that can be delegated as well as things that really don't need to be done at all. It's always good to stop and reflect, if we're edging close to burn-out: What really needs to be done—and what of that do I personally need to do?

It's unlikely that we'll get to the end of our lives and on our deathbeds wish we had done more work. Rather, it's more likely that we'll wish we had better tended our relationships. Most likely, we'll wish we'd stopped to smell more roses along the way—taken time to savor our moments and days.

So let's start right now! What are we waiting for?

Self-care and burnout

Are you burned out? Ground down? Worn out? Exhausted and irritable? Are you feeling joyful less and less of the time—and depressed more and more of the time? Or have you ever felt this way before?

From time to time, life circumstances can bring us to the place of burnout. It may be an extremely toxic and difficult workplace with colleagues who tear you down rather than support you and have your back. It could be a close relationship—your primary relationship or a friendship—that's just sucking you dry.

There's no shame in being in that place. But please don't allow yourself to stay there. Get professional help if it's serious. Talk with friends. Contact me if you wish to discuss this with a life coach. Make whatever changes are necessary to not just survive, but thrive again.

Do things that nourish and feed you. Retreats, workshops, spa treatments, getaways with friends or your partner/spouse, meditation time, prayer, small groups—whatever will build you up and support you as you try to protect yourself from the damage being done. If you can leave the situation, that's great. Often, however, we're not able to do that and instead, need to find ways to change how we respond to it. Self-care is so essential. You are precious and important. Don't let anyone else grind you down—and especially don't let a situation or person force you to beat up on yourself or to pile on.

Love yourself. Take care of yourself. You deserve that!

Feeling fried?

Are you feeling depleted? No energy? No excitement for much of anything? And not sure what to do next?

It could be that you're experiencing burnout. It seems that burnout is reaching near-epidemic proportions these days as people work extra hard to keep from falling through the cracks, to stay ahead of bills, to manage a heavier-than-usual workload given all the layoffs at many workplaces, to juggle all the demands of families and careers and more. Or even to plan for retirement—or manage it if you're already retired but are worried about the money holding out. It's exhausting to just think about it all.

Reach out for some help if that's where you find yourself. At the very least, talk it over with trusted and wise friends. Seek out a counselor with whom you can work. Or contact me if you would like to talk about this to see whether coaching might help you (I offer complimentary, no-obligation strategy sessions). I have worked with clients who were just fried and were confused about where to turn and what direction to go. It's not a fun place to be, but you can find your passion and energy again. I've seen it happen, and I'm always jazzed to be part of such a process. It's so heartening to see a client go from burnout to a place of joy and passion again.

Typically burnout doesn't go away by itself ... and there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Reach out today.