Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Fear and love connected

There's a little bit of fear in all our love relationships, I read somewhere last week. Whaaaaaat?

As I read on, the writer explained, however. In all our relationships, whether friends we love or our partner or children, we experience some type of fear: fear of rejection, fear of being unable to love the other enough, fear of what we will do if that person dies or moves away or somehow is no longer in our life in the same way. Cutting to the chase, our love relationships contain an element of fear because we are vulnerable when we love others. When we love, we open ourselves up to hurt as well. We hurt others, and they hurt us ... no matter how hard we try to not do so.

Once I understood what was being said, I agreed. However, it did make me think that a bit of fear is fine. If those fears threaten to overwhelm us, though, perhaps it's time to examine them and see what we might do to keep things in perspective. Has that happened to you?

If you fear the person, that's another issue altogether. Then it's time to examine the health of the relationship and see what you need to do: seek changes in the relationship or perhaps even leave it. 

Think about your important relationships and see what your fear and vulnerability look like. Do you need to do anything about it, or is everything in proper proportion?

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