Monday, October 15, 2012

A time for sadness, a time for joy

Rose Kennedy reportedly said, "Birds sing after a storm" when a reporter asked how she could possibly keep going in the face of so much tragedy in her life.

There is a time for weeping and a time for joy. When your life events take you into sadness and even despair, it's important to know that you will not stay there forever. You will want to do the necessary grieving and processing, knowing that the time for joy will come.

Sometimes you get lost in the grieving process, however, and need help getting out. That's when you need the help of family and friends to gently pull you back into life's joy and hope again. It's OK to lean on others. It's taken me longer than most to learn that, no doubt because of my Enneagram 8 personality!

When I was knee-deep in my divorce process, I used most of my energy to be there for my three sons in whatever ways I could. I had little or no energy left for my friends—or really for my own healing. It was as though I went into a deep hole and pulled the cover over the top. I had some people in my life, thankfully, who didn't let me stay there. One couple kept calling, stopping by to visit and also sending notes of care to me. Even though they sometimes felt that I was either ignoring or rejecting them, they didn't give up on me. How grateful I am for that! My sister did the same through her phone calls.

One day I felt myself come alive again. I noticed the birds singing, just as Rose Kennedy said. And I knew that life would be good again—and that I couldn't do it all by myself.

Do you want some help from family and friends? Don't be afraid to ask. And please contact me if you could use some coaching, too. There is nothing that says you have to go it alone. And remember, birds really do sing after a storm!

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