Yesterday I blogged about both looking after your own needs and meeting those of the people around you. It's a both/and proposition. As women, it's often meeting our own that perplexes us most.
A poem from Veronica A. Shoffstall comes to mind. Perhaps you've read it. In "After a While," she writes: "After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers."
I know I'll date myself by saying this—but what also comes to my mind is the idea I heard so much when I was a young woman: When you meet that special someone with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, you will complete one another. I don't hear that much anymore, so I hope the idea is dead. Frankly, I see each of us humans as being whole and complete. We were created whole, not as some puzzle part that needs the other puzzle piece to function properly. You certainly can "plant your own garden" and "decorate your own soul" rather than waiting for someone else to do that. You can identify your own needs and be responsible for seeing that they are met.
That doesn't mean, however, that your life partner won't bring out things in you and won't complement you and enrich your life. It just means you are responsible for your life.
Would you like coaching help in apprehending this concept? It's one on which we as women sometimes get hung up. And there's nothing wrong with admitting you need some help working it out. Please contact me if you want to discuss this.