A former client felt the pinch in her significant relationships: She realized her needs weren't often getting met because she was far more intent on pleasing others than she needed to be.
What do you do when you face a time of transition such as that? When you need to make some change in your life? Do you tighten up and resist making any change?
Here are 4 F's to consider in such situations:
• Face up to what is real for you. Don't be afraid to take a hard look at things and see what's happening. Get in touch with how you're feeling and about what triggers those feeling for you.
• Feel the fear as you consider making changes. If you are about to set some boundaries with friends and loved ones, it can be frightening. If you're into pleasing others and you see happiness as dependent on the approval of others, change can be scary. Feel that fear. Examine it. And, as the saying goes, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."
• Focus on what you really want. Do you want to be more authentic? Do you want there to be more give-and-take in your relationship? Do you want to have people tend to your needs just as you care about theirs? What's the real bottom line for you?
• Fashion a plan, one step at a time. Decide what you want to do about the situation. What changes on your part might set about an entirely different outcome, one that would feel good to you? Be sure to just take it a step at a time. Gain success with one step and move on to another. Each successful step can give you confidence to try the next one.
In time, I'm willing to bet that you will add a fifth F to your lineup:
• Feel the satisfaction of taking charge and the joy of achieving a transition and a change that feels more authentic to who you really are. Taking on any life change or new habit successfully can be such a confidence-booster. You'll feel so empowered!
If you would like a complimentary, no-obligation strategy session because you face some change in your life, please contact me to set up a time.
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