A place for accountability

Do you make to-do lists for yourself? Are you good at the follow-through? Some people take one thing at a time, complete it, cross it off the list and move through till everything is finished. Others do one thing and get lost in that project and don't move on to the other things on the list. Or they ignore the list altogether. Just remember: You're not good or bad no matter what your style is. Your style is your style. It doesn't make you better or worse than anyone else. However, it's good to know your style—and good to do whatever works best for you.

What is helpful for many people—or so nearly all of my coaching clients have told me at one time or another—is to be accountable to someone else. If you really want to get a project done, tell someone else that you're going to do it and when. That's really motivating!

At the end of each session I have with a client, I'll ask them to set one or two goals for themselves that they'll work on before the next coaching session. What I hear from clients is that often when that next session gets close, they think: "Whoa, I'm going to talk to Sonia in a couple days, I'd better get going here" or "I'd better complete it soon." All of us can use accountability at times in our lives. If you are at a point where you could use some, please contact me. Let's see what we can do for you. 

I haven't been accountable

Yesterday I talked about the idea of a "thimble list" and shared some things on mine. This past Monday I talked about accountability.

Today I need to combine those two because I haven't done so well in the accountability department. I created my thimble list several months ago and tucked it away, forgetting about it until I came across the electronic file on my computer recently. Clearly, I haven't put it out where it's visible (like the task chart I used to put on the refrigerator when my sons were small) so I can remember that these are the things I want to do regularly to savor life.

So ... I just printed out a copy on a beautiful piece of paper that is now posted on the wall next to my glider in my meditation space. Now I will be able to see what I've written and remember, if not daily, at least on a more regular basis to do those things that bring more joy into my life—and, therefore, into the lives of others around me as well. ... because isn't joy infectious and don't its ripples go way beyond the space we fill?

I no longer remember what product was being advertised but one TV ad I always liked (and I'm not a fan of TV ads) showed a person doing a kind deed for someone and that person in turn doing a random act of kindness for someone she or he came across ... and on and on the kindness went, each person passing it along.

When I savor and enjoy my life, I'm much more generous-hearted and open to all those who cross my path regularly. Isn't that worth it? I just needed to pay attention to what I encouraged you to do!

Accountability for adults

When my sons were young, they each had assigned duties appropriate to their age. I made a weekly chart that hung on our refrigerator listing the duties each son had, and I included a box for each duty each day so I could check off when they had performed the task. Peter, Joel and Aaron knew that the marks would show how accountable they had been for what they needed to do to earn their weekly allowance.

We adults aren't really so different. Being accountable to someone helps motivate us, too. It's one of the principles I learned in my life coach training program.

My coaching clients set their own agendas. When they come to me, they know what issue(s) they want to work on (or if they don't, they soon identify it in initial conversations). In early conversations, we learn where they are now—and where they want to be. The task then becomes establishing goals at each coaching session to get my client where she wants to be. The goals are hers to choose and hers to carry out. But each week I ask what happened on each goal she set the previous week. We celebrate goals reached—and we look at those that weren't reached to see why. Perhaps it wasn't a workable goal. Perhaps it needed to be broken down into smaller, more attainable goals. Or maybe it was a goal for later; the time just wasn't right.

Over and over, I've heard from my clients that the accountability piece is so important in our coaching sessions. That's true in my life, too. I may have outgrown many things from my childhood. You have, too. However, the value of accountability isn't one of them.

Please contact me if you want to explore coaching sessions. I'm happy to provide an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary strategy session before you even decide to proceed.

Celebrate independence

Today we in the U.S. celebrate our country's independence. The subject of independence makes me think of boundaries. How good are yours?

Have you, like me, been in this place before: You complain about what a coworker or a loved one did or said to you? Perhaps that person delivered a real put-down to you, or maybe someone pushed into your turf in an inappropriate way. I've certainly been-there and done-that.

Later, when I have examined the situation more closely, I saw that there were things I could have said or done to make clear that my boundaries had been violated. In the face of a slur or a put-down, I might have said, "I don't accept people speaking to me that way. You owe me an apology." Or I could have said, "Thank you for the idea. I will certainly think about that when I make the decision about where this project needs to go next (making it clear that this is your turf and your decision)."

Even when you do set boundaries, sometimes you'll meet with the response, "Oh, you just can't take a joke. I was just kidding." Uh, yeah, I don't think so. Generally, you know intuitively what a put-down is. And there's nothing funny about it. So just hold firm. You don't have to be nasty. But you can be firm about what you will accept and what you won't. It's really about holding people accountable for what they say and do—and holding yourself accountable for what you'll accept.

Boundaries—they're as important to us as individuals as they are to countries!

The more-so years

I have a friend whose mother calls the years after age 50 or 60 the "more-so" years. She says that whatever we have been all our lives, we'll be that and more when we get older.

So if you tend to be negative and bitter, you'll just be even more bitter and negative as you age. If you have spent your life being a martyr, you'll just be more of one in your later years.

And if you've been resilient and positive, you will be even more so as you age.

So, is that good news or bad news to you? And do you agree with the theory?

If you believe it's true and don't like what you see in yourself, it's never too late to make changes. Though change can be difficult, it isn't impossible—especially with help from your friends and even with some coaching.

Create a vision for who and what you want to be in your later years. Then decide what steps you will take to get there. If you want an accountability partner for making these changes, please contact me. We'll start with an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary strategy session.

Take charge of your life today. Become the person you want. It is possible.

The gifts of partnership

Ever find yourself telling someone else about your plans or goals because you know you’ll stick to them if someone else knows?

It’s called “accountability.” And it’s pretty powerful. I know that when I tell my fiancé or one of my friends that I’m starting an exercise program, I will be asked about it. Somehow it’s easier to wiggle out if I’ve only committed in my own mind!

It’s one of the benefits of a coaching relationship. I’ve had several clients tell me that being accountable to me helps keep them on track with what they want to do.

Reaching dreams: How energizing!
The real benefit of that benefit, of course, is that when you do stay on track, you reach the goals for which you’ve been working. You realize dreams. You achieve goals. Your yearnings become live and real. Just writing these words energizes me. Can’t you feel the energy when you imagine yourself setting goals and reaching them?

Picture the caterpillar that has just been transformed in the cocoon and is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly. Imagine that feeling—at long last—of soaring and being what it truly was meant to be.

You too can soar! You can be that butterfly, ready to reach new heights. Let me know today if you would like an exploratory conversation and a no-obligation, complimentary consultation.

If you’re ready for action, I will help you set and meet your goals. I will be your accountability partner. I will help you discover your next steps and best solutions. I will encourage and support you in your choices. Click on the Contact link and let’s move you toward your goals.