As we approach the end to another year, it's natural to begin thinking of what the new year will bring. What goals will you set? What new directions might be coming for you? Or will you stay the course? Where are you headed? What will that mean for who you are?
While goals are important, who we are becoming is even more important. How have we grown and changed in this past year? Have we become more of who we were meant to be? Are we increasingly comfortable in our own skin? Do we like—or even love—that person we're becoming?
I'm reminded of a quote from Henry David Thoreau: "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."
Are your goals success oriented? Or are they about who and what you're becoming? This is a good time to take stock—and be ready to walk into the new year with a healthy attitude and an appreciation for who and what you are.
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Monday, December 12, 2016
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Questions to ask before a change
Whether you have a decision to make about your career, a relationship, a move to a new location (whether near or far) or any other change, it's always good to think through the positives and negatives so you don't get blind-sided. Doing so allows you to be better prepared for whatever change you face. And you want to be certain that the outcome of that change truly is something you want.
I just read a list of five questions that can be helpful to consider as you think about a new outcome or a change:
• Why do I want this outcome?
• What do I gain by getting it?
• What do I lose by getting it?
• What if I did nothing?
• What if I succeed?
It's always true that there'll be losses and gains whenever you try for a new goal or make a change. You want to be clear on what you'll gain and what you'll lose. Are you willing to pay whatever price might be attached to this new goal (the subsequent losses)? There are many other questions that might be helpful as you consider change. But these five seemed to be a good start.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Reassessing dreams
Are you facing transitions in your life? Career change? Retirement options shifting? Are you wanting something more than what you have now? Something different to spice things up?
Change can be good. It can refuel us again. It's not at all unusual for people between the ages of 40 and 70 to question the meaning of their lives and think about success and happiness. It's always good to stop and reassess achievements and dreams, to reevaluate and reflect. Have you reached your goals? Do you have new goals and dreams? Do you feel fulfilled? What's next for you?
These are big questions to face on your own. AARP has a fascinating website devoted to helping people think about new possibilities and preparing for changes—it's called Life Reimagined.
If you want some coaching help as you work through these questions, I'm always happy to help, too. I invite you to contact me if you would like a complimentary strategy session.
Happy dreaming and reimagining!
Change can be good. It can refuel us again. It's not at all unusual for people between the ages of 40 and 70 to question the meaning of their lives and think about success and happiness. It's always good to stop and reassess achievements and dreams, to reevaluate and reflect. Have you reached your goals? Do you have new goals and dreams? Do you feel fulfilled? What's next for you?
These are big questions to face on your own. AARP has a fascinating website devoted to helping people think about new possibilities and preparing for changes—it's called Life Reimagined.
If you want some coaching help as you work through these questions, I'm always happy to help, too. I invite you to contact me if you would like a complimentary strategy session.
Happy dreaming and reimagining!
Monday, July 20, 2015
Need a new plan?
Ever have this happen? You've made a plan and are moving toward the goal, whatever that may be. But things keep going wrong.
What do you do? Keep on pushing, like Sisyphus rolling the boulder up a hill in Greek mythology?
Or do you stop, take time to reflect on everything and see whether you need a different plan? Or perhaps simply a couple of different pieces to the overall plan? Perhaps it needs some tweaking. Or you may even need a complete U-turn and have to go a different direction.
This can apply to career plans, relationship plans, even vacation plans. If things aren't falling easily into place, sometimes it's good to just stop. Stop. Take some deep breaths. Survey the situation—and do a good internal gut-check, too, to see what your intuition says.
Contrary to the road signs that tell us "No U-turn," sometimes a U-turn is just the thing we might need for a situation in our life. Don't be afraid to change your plan. Change can be just what you need.
What do you do? Keep on pushing, like Sisyphus rolling the boulder up a hill in Greek mythology?
Or do you stop, take time to reflect on everything and see whether you need a different plan? Or perhaps simply a couple of different pieces to the overall plan? Perhaps it needs some tweaking. Or you may even need a complete U-turn and have to go a different direction.
This can apply to career plans, relationship plans, even vacation plans. If things aren't falling easily into place, sometimes it's good to just stop. Stop. Take some deep breaths. Survey the situation—and do a good internal gut-check, too, to see what your intuition says.
Contrary to the road signs that tell us "No U-turn," sometimes a U-turn is just the thing we might need for a situation in our life. Don't be afraid to change your plan. Change can be just what you need.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Straight to the center
One of my favorite inspirational authors, Jan Richardson, wrote: "You have looked at so many doors with longing, wondering if your life lay on the other side. For today, choose the door that opens to the inside. Travel the most ancient way of all: the path that leads you to the center of your life. No map but the one you make yourself."
That quote hardly needs an explanation, it seems to me. Especially as we get to the second half of life, these words are so vital: "...choose the door that opens to the inside." For there's really no more important journey than the one that takes us deep into the center of our life, is there? The path that leads straight in to our Source, to our inner navigational system, to the place where we are most truly who we were meant to be—without our costumes, without our masks.
And the map to get there is one we make ourselves. Advice from someone else won't help. The map of another won't help. You and you alone know how to get there and know what to do with what you find there. The choices are yours. Follow the goals and dreams that are in alignment with who you were created to be. Your choices need to be authentic to you.
Go straight to your center—find there the answer to your life question, "Who am I?" Make your own map. You know the way.
That quote hardly needs an explanation, it seems to me. Especially as we get to the second half of life, these words are so vital: "...choose the door that opens to the inside." For there's really no more important journey than the one that takes us deep into the center of our life, is there? The path that leads straight in to our Source, to our inner navigational system, to the place where we are most truly who we were meant to be—without our costumes, without our masks.
And the map to get there is one we make ourselves. Advice from someone else won't help. The map of another won't help. You and you alone know how to get there and know what to do with what you find there. The choices are yours. Follow the goals and dreams that are in alignment with who you were created to be. Your choices need to be authentic to you.
Go straight to your center—find there the answer to your life question, "Who am I?" Make your own map. You know the way.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
'I think I can'
If you think you're going to fail, doesn't that often become self-fulfilling prophecy? Yes, it does for me, too.
Henry Ford was correct when he said, "If you think you can, or if you think you can't, either way, you're right." It's also like the children's story about the little train that could. When it tried to get up a hill, it kept repeating, "I think I can, I think I can." And sure enough, the little train did scale the hill.
So when you have a goal, a dream or a passion you want to follow, check your attitude. Is it positive and confident? Or do you need a nice boost to your confidence level? If you need that boost, don't feel any shame about that. Simply ask a trusted friend or loved one for what you need—until you feel positive enough to say you can do what you wish to do. And do those things that always help you get in touch with your most confident self.
Attitude makes such a difference. Perhaps we can't be positive and confident 100 percent of the time. But we certainly can talk things over with someone else, immerse ourselves in inspirational literature or engage in yoga or meditation until we feel a shift in our attitude. Whatever will help us gain a positive attitude—that's what we need to do.
What would you like to do today? Go ahead; charge up your attitude and go for it.
Henry Ford was correct when he said, "If you think you can, or if you think you can't, either way, you're right." It's also like the children's story about the little train that could. When it tried to get up a hill, it kept repeating, "I think I can, I think I can." And sure enough, the little train did scale the hill.
So when you have a goal, a dream or a passion you want to follow, check your attitude. Is it positive and confident? Or do you need a nice boost to your confidence level? If you need that boost, don't feel any shame about that. Simply ask a trusted friend or loved one for what you need—until you feel positive enough to say you can do what you wish to do. And do those things that always help you get in touch with your most confident self.
Attitude makes such a difference. Perhaps we can't be positive and confident 100 percent of the time. But we certainly can talk things over with someone else, immerse ourselves in inspirational literature or engage in yoga or meditation until we feel a shift in our attitude. Whatever will help us gain a positive attitude—that's what we need to do.
What would you like to do today? Go ahead; charge up your attitude and go for it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
The first step is important
Although you won't read this until Wednesday, I wrote it on Monday—Martin Luther King Day. We have been left with many inspirational and thoughtful ideas and quotes by this civil rights leader.
One that is so fitting as we think about making changes in our personal (or professional) lives is this: "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
When anything begins to pinch in your life, and you think about making any type of change, large or small, this is good to remember: "Just take the first step." You need not worry about each action step along the way. Nor do you even have to see the whole picture or end result. You do need to know what's wrong now (what isn't working). You need to have some idea of where you'd like to go or what you'd like to feel. But you needn't know the full picture (the whole staircase). For example, if you are feeling resentful because you're always doing things everyone else wants (saying "Yes" too much) and never getting your own needs and wants met, you may want to make changes. You may not know what that will look like at the end. You just know you don't want to be so resentful anymore. You just know you want others to take your needs and wants seriously, too. It's OK to not see the whole staircase.
Just take that first step toward setting boundaries and learning to say "No" to others. Many of our important changes and transformations occur in incremental steps. So just take the first one—in faith and confidence that you can do it. One step and goal at a time. Before you know it, change has taken place.
One that is so fitting as we think about making changes in our personal (or professional) lives is this: "Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."
When anything begins to pinch in your life, and you think about making any type of change, large or small, this is good to remember: "Just take the first step." You need not worry about each action step along the way. Nor do you even have to see the whole picture or end result. You do need to know what's wrong now (what isn't working). You need to have some idea of where you'd like to go or what you'd like to feel. But you needn't know the full picture (the whole staircase). For example, if you are feeling resentful because you're always doing things everyone else wants (saying "Yes" too much) and never getting your own needs and wants met, you may want to make changes. You may not know what that will look like at the end. You just know you don't want to be so resentful anymore. You just know you want others to take your needs and wants seriously, too. It's OK to not see the whole staircase.
Just take that first step toward setting boundaries and learning to say "No" to others. Many of our important changes and transformations occur in incremental steps. So just take the first one—in faith and confidence that you can do it. One step and goal at a time. Before you know it, change has taken place.
Monday, October 20, 2014
One small step at a time
Last week I saw a YouTube video of a little girl taking her first steps—and eventually learning to walk. Her father shot the video as a time-lapse so it chronicled all her baby steps, from learning to stand for a few seconds to much later, walking steadily on her own. He showed lots of falls, which always are a part of learning to walk, and even a few gentle pushes by her older sister.
This video reminded me that life comprises lots of stops and starts, lots of falls and recoveries, lots of helping hands along the way, sometimes a few pushes (both good and bad), and affirmation from those who love us most. What we need to remember is that taking baby steps toward a goal or dream is the best way to get there. One small step at a time—and before you know it, you're there.
And when we fall, just like that little girl, we need to pick ourselves up and get moving again. It helps to surround yourself with positive and affirming people, too. Although life often brings us negative people who are all too ready to criticize us (and our inner critics can do enough of that on their own), it's helpful to either tune out those voices or in some cases, drop those friendships. Develop relationships with those who can affirm and support you on your journey. Learn to love that inner critic, too. If you'd like to learn more about how to deal with your inner critic, I invite you to contact me.
For today, though, think of things you want to achieve—and what baby steps you can take to get there.
This video reminded me that life comprises lots of stops and starts, lots of falls and recoveries, lots of helping hands along the way, sometimes a few pushes (both good and bad), and affirmation from those who love us most. What we need to remember is that taking baby steps toward a goal or dream is the best way to get there. One small step at a time—and before you know it, you're there.
And when we fall, just like that little girl, we need to pick ourselves up and get moving again. It helps to surround yourself with positive and affirming people, too. Although life often brings us negative people who are all too ready to criticize us (and our inner critics can do enough of that on their own), it's helpful to either tune out those voices or in some cases, drop those friendships. Develop relationships with those who can affirm and support you on your journey. Learn to love that inner critic, too. If you'd like to learn more about how to deal with your inner critic, I invite you to contact me.
For today, though, think of things you want to achieve—and what baby steps you can take to get there.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Take action
In its early days, the U.S. space program was an all-male bastion. Male astronauts. Male engineers. Females were secretaries and "computresses" (operators of mechanical calculators). That was it. But after years of speaking up and speaking out, including going before Congress, finally women were allowed in the doors. They took their place as astronauts and engineers, among other things.
As I watched a PBS program the other night that chronicled those years of the space program for women, it reminded me once again: We don't get anywhere with our hope and dreams if we don't take action. We need encouragement to find our voices. Once we find our voice, feel comfortable with who we are and with our right to make choices that we want, we can join with others to create an action plan to open doors that were closed before. Or, if the doors are open, we can create our own personal action plan to reach our dreams and goals.
What dream is still unrealized in your life? Is there some passion still buried inside you? Is it time to create an action plan for yourself so you can truly soar like that beautiful butterfly you are? Go for it. If you really want it, it's worth fighting for or working for.
As I watched a PBS program the other night that chronicled those years of the space program for women, it reminded me once again: We don't get anywhere with our hope and dreams if we don't take action. We need encouragement to find our voices. Once we find our voice, feel comfortable with who we are and with our right to make choices that we want, we can join with others to create an action plan to open doors that were closed before. Or, if the doors are open, we can create our own personal action plan to reach our dreams and goals.
What dream is still unrealized in your life? Is there some passion still buried inside you? Is it time to create an action plan for yourself so you can truly soar like that beautiful butterfly you are? Go for it. If you really want it, it's worth fighting for or working for.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Stay the course
Do you get discouraged easily about your dreams and goals? Do you
change direction when things get tough, even to the point of letting go
of your dreams and passions? If so, you may like to consider this quote
by author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar: "When obstacles arise,
you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your
decision to get there."
You don't need to see obstacles as a sign that you're pursuing the wrong dream. Obstacles happen. Period. Is the obstacle something you can surmount? Is there a work-around? Can you change direction and still keep the same goal or dream? Sometimes obstacles are merely good pause-points—times to stop and reflect on what you're doing and whether you're going about it in the best way. Often, you just need to tweak something to better suit you.
When I received my training to become a life coach, the professor asked each of us to develop a HUB statement (Hottest Undeniable Benefit) that would say who our target audience was and what we offered them. I created several drafts and finally settled on one; so did my classmates. We were told to be very specific with our target audience (not "women," for example, but more like "middle-aged women in career transition" or something similar). I started out with a different target than I now have, and it wasn't working well. That didn't mean I had to give up life coaching. It just meant I needed to do some tweaking and think more about who my gifts might best serve. And that tweaking made a huge difference. I absolutely love what I'm doing—and the variety of clients I'm now serving.
That said, there are times in your life when an obstacle arises and a pause-point may show the need for a left turn or a total shift in what you're doing. Know the difference. Know yourself.
You don't need to see obstacles as a sign that you're pursuing the wrong dream. Obstacles happen. Period. Is the obstacle something you can surmount? Is there a work-around? Can you change direction and still keep the same goal or dream? Sometimes obstacles are merely good pause-points—times to stop and reflect on what you're doing and whether you're going about it in the best way. Often, you just need to tweak something to better suit you.
When I received my training to become a life coach, the professor asked each of us to develop a HUB statement (Hottest Undeniable Benefit) that would say who our target audience was and what we offered them. I created several drafts and finally settled on one; so did my classmates. We were told to be very specific with our target audience (not "women," for example, but more like "middle-aged women in career transition" or something similar). I started out with a different target than I now have, and it wasn't working well. That didn't mean I had to give up life coaching. It just meant I needed to do some tweaking and think more about who my gifts might best serve. And that tweaking made a huge difference. I absolutely love what I'm doing—and the variety of clients I'm now serving.
That said, there are times in your life when an obstacle arises and a pause-point may show the need for a left turn or a total shift in what you're doing. Know the difference. Know yourself.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Taking risks
Are you comfortable taking risks? What do you do when you feel stuck? When what you're doing isn't working or no longer provides you with joy or satisfaction?
Many people are risk-averse. They're just not comfortable going outside their comfort zone, trying something new, making changes. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It just simply is—if you're that type of person. It's also a fact, however, that nothing will change if you don't change. So, if you are risk-averse, I encourage you to take some small steps toward making friends with risk.
I have several clients and a few friends who right now are making big changes in their lives—taking risks on new careers, new relationships, or some behavioral changes that they hope will lead to greater fulfillment, happiness and joy in their lives. One is even moving far away from family (and way out of her comfort zone) in the hope of landing a job that will bring her closer to her dreams.
If you have something that isn't quite fitting you these days, you don't have to move across the country or quit your job to get unstuck. Perhaps you simply need to change your attitude. Reframe how you see something. Find what you do like in your current situation and build on that. Is there something you can do today that will move you closer to your dreams? Create a plan of small steps to get you wherever you want to be. One step at a time: That's how we reach goals.
If you'd like a complimentary strategy session to discuss this, please contact me.
Many people are risk-averse. They're just not comfortable going outside their comfort zone, trying something new, making changes. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It just simply is—if you're that type of person. It's also a fact, however, that nothing will change if you don't change. So, if you are risk-averse, I encourage you to take some small steps toward making friends with risk.
I have several clients and a few friends who right now are making big changes in their lives—taking risks on new careers, new relationships, or some behavioral changes that they hope will lead to greater fulfillment, happiness and joy in their lives. One is even moving far away from family (and way out of her comfort zone) in the hope of landing a job that will bring her closer to her dreams.
If you have something that isn't quite fitting you these days, you don't have to move across the country or quit your job to get unstuck. Perhaps you simply need to change your attitude. Reframe how you see something. Find what you do like in your current situation and build on that. Is there something you can do today that will move you closer to your dreams? Create a plan of small steps to get you wherever you want to be. One step at a time: That's how we reach goals.
If you'd like a complimentary strategy session to discuss this, please contact me.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Dreams: One step at a time
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day. Every year that day provides us with so many things on which to reflect: race relations, non-violent protests, having dreams and pursuing them, the impact of one person on society and so much more.
Each one of those is important and deserves time and attention. Today I want to pull out the idea of dreams and their pursuit.
What are your dreams right now? For yourself? For your community and the larger society? Globally?
The dreams you and I have for ourselves may seem more attainable than global dreams. And yet, even there, we get stalled out and immobilized at times. It doesn't matter whether your dreams are for yourself—your career, a relationship, a new way of living and being, better managing an illness—or whether they're for society or the entire globe. Either way, dreams are fulfilled one step at a time. One simple step at a time.
How can you break down any of your dreams into simple steps? If a dream seems impossible to break into several small steps, just think of one action you can take today—one action—that will move you closer to that dream. Success in that one action will propel you into another small step. And another. Just think of how wonderful that will feel!
Each one of those is important and deserves time and attention. Today I want to pull out the idea of dreams and their pursuit.
What are your dreams right now? For yourself? For your community and the larger society? Globally?
The dreams you and I have for ourselves may seem more attainable than global dreams. And yet, even there, we get stalled out and immobilized at times. It doesn't matter whether your dreams are for yourself—your career, a relationship, a new way of living and being, better managing an illness—or whether they're for society or the entire globe. Either way, dreams are fulfilled one step at a time. One simple step at a time.
How can you break down any of your dreams into simple steps? If a dream seems impossible to break into several small steps, just think of one action you can take today—one action—that will move you closer to that dream. Success in that one action will propel you into another small step. And another. Just think of how wonderful that will feel!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
What if ... ?
The invitation came in my email inbox. It sounded intriguing, so I signed up for it. Besides, it was free. "It" was a 21-day meditation series titled "Desire and Destiny" with Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra.
I've just finished the series this week. I really liked that 20-minute time of quiet each morning when I listened first to the inspiring thoughts of Oprah and Deepak and then to the quiet music that allowed time for meditation and for just being.
They sent a bonus, Day 22, which invited me to think about the gift I have to put out into the world. I was invited to picture every human on the planet side by side in a huge circle, to turn to the person on my right offering my gift—and see everyone doing so in turn—and finally to turn to my left with my hands open to receive the gift offered by the person on that side. I'm not always great at guided imagery and picturing things in my mind. Still, I could imagine offering my gift and then turning to receive one from someone else. It was quite powerful. Since I'm better at giving than receiving, the receiving piece was especially powerful for me.
I wonder ...
This was quite an amazing exercise—and after the meditation time finished, it caused me to wonder what our planet would be like if we each focused on using our gift(s) in the world and on receiving those that others offer us. What if we spent no time comparing ourselves to others, envying others for what they have, being angry about what we haven't had or what we've lost, and instead did our best to make sure everyone felt loved and appreciated? What if our goal really was love and abundance for all?
I know, I know. These are the illusions (or maybe delusions) of an idealist, right? Perhaps so. But, seriously, what if? Might the world at least be a better place if you and I made that a goal? And shared it with others in our circles? Hmmm, who knows what's possible?
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Focus on your daily goals
How are you at focusing? Do you know what you want to accomplish each day and pretty much stay with it until you reach your goal or at least make good progress toward it? Or are you easily distracted?
Being easily distracted isn't a character flaw. It's just the way some people are. If that describes you, you may want to employ some methods to help you keep better focus (only if that's important to you and what you do, of course, and not because you need fixing).
Start your day by deciding what you really want to get done. Write it down where you can see it. Be as realistic as you can. Don't make an impossible to-do list, or you'll really get distracted—to say nothing about getting discouraged. What's most important to accomplish today? Start with three to six things—or just one if it's a large and complex task. That's plenty. Sometimes your day will be filled with interruptions, and those may even become the necessary and important things.
If others try to add to your day's to-do list and it's within your power to say "No," do so. Stay with your own focus if that's what you've determined is important for that day. If extra commitments can wait until another day or if they're better done by someone else, let them go.
Be sure to give yourself breaks throughout the day. Try to breathe deeply and approach your tasks in as relaxed a manner as possible. It will be easier to focus if you aren't feeling totally rushed and harried. And it will be easier to focus if you have some space between tasks or even between different parts of a large project.
Be mindful as you carry out each part of your to-do list. If you pay attention, you are less easily distracted. And you might even enjoy what you're doing!
If it will help the entire process, promise yourself a reward when you finish those important things: a walk in the park, a cup of your favorite tea or something you especially enjoy. Be sure to cross things off your list when you finish. Doesn't that feel so good?
Being easily distracted isn't a character flaw. It's just the way some people are. If that describes you, you may want to employ some methods to help you keep better focus (only if that's important to you and what you do, of course, and not because you need fixing).
Start your day by deciding what you really want to get done. Write it down where you can see it. Be as realistic as you can. Don't make an impossible to-do list, or you'll really get distracted—to say nothing about getting discouraged. What's most important to accomplish today? Start with three to six things—or just one if it's a large and complex task. That's plenty. Sometimes your day will be filled with interruptions, and those may even become the necessary and important things.
If others try to add to your day's to-do list and it's within your power to say "No," do so. Stay with your own focus if that's what you've determined is important for that day. If extra commitments can wait until another day or if they're better done by someone else, let them go.
Be sure to give yourself breaks throughout the day. Try to breathe deeply and approach your tasks in as relaxed a manner as possible. It will be easier to focus if you aren't feeling totally rushed and harried. And it will be easier to focus if you have some space between tasks or even between different parts of a large project.
Be mindful as you carry out each part of your to-do list. If you pay attention, you are less easily distracted. And you might even enjoy what you're doing!
If it will help the entire process, promise yourself a reward when you finish those important things: a walk in the park, a cup of your favorite tea or something you especially enjoy. Be sure to cross things off your list when you finish. Doesn't that feel so good?
Monday, March 18, 2013
Joy and satisfaction
Recently I learned about a book by Brent Kessel titled It's Not About the Money. In it Kessel describes "the Wanting Mind"—that part of us that isn't ever quite satisfied with how things are. He specifically ties it to our financial lives, pointing out that most often it leads to significant debt and often, a stingy attitude.
He says an important antidote to the Wanting Mind is "Heartfelt Goals"—goals driven by our deepest values.
That goes back to knowing ourselves, about which I blogged last Wednesday, March 13. What are your deepest values? Given those core beliefs and values, what then are your goals?
It's all about being in alignment, isn't it? You and I want to choose goals that align with our deepest values. And we want to choose goals that reflect our gratitude and sense of contentment with life even as we continue learning, growing and inviting transformation.
It's quite a balance, but it's so worth doing. And ultimately, it will lead to a deeper joy and satisfaction as well as a greater ability to be of service in our families, friendship circles, communities, country and world.
He says an important antidote to the Wanting Mind is "Heartfelt Goals"—goals driven by our deepest values.
That goes back to knowing ourselves, about which I blogged last Wednesday, March 13. What are your deepest values? Given those core beliefs and values, what then are your goals?
It's all about being in alignment, isn't it? You and I want to choose goals that align with our deepest values. And we want to choose goals that reflect our gratitude and sense of contentment with life even as we continue learning, growing and inviting transformation.
It's quite a balance, but it's so worth doing. And ultimately, it will lead to a deeper joy and satisfaction as well as a greater ability to be of service in our families, friendship circles, communities, country and world.
Friday, January 11, 2013
3 aids to focus attention
Do you have trouble focusing? Are you one of those creative types whose mind flashes ideas with the speed of popcorn popping over a hot fire? You just can't stop to focus on the one thing you need to get done to reach your goals. You have too many other thoughts and ideas floating around. You want to bring your awareness to the one important thing—to your goal or the small step that is part of reaching your goal.
Several of my clients have told me it's one of the things they find helpful about our coaching work: I help them focus so they can take one step at a time to get to whatever goal they have set. It's hard work to focus when your creative side keeps producing wonderful and intriguing ideas. And I always tell my clients to not stifle that wonderful creative spirit. It's a gift. But as with so many of our gifts and talents, it has a flip side. And that side needs some help once in a while if you're going to get where you want to be!
May I suggest 3 things that might help you focus when your head is spinning?
• Get physical. Often when you go for a brisk walk, get on the treadmill, jump rope or do something that gets you down into your body, your mind can relax and let go of all those swirling thoughts for a while. That can help clear your head so you can return to the task at hand with more focus.
• Pay attention to your breathing. Breathe deeply, pushing out your stomach on the inhale to let in as much air as possible, and deflating it as you exhale, letting out all the air you can. Concentrate on your breathing for 5 or 10 minutes. When you really let yourself concentrate on your breathing, you won't be thinking of other things.
• Make a quick-and-dirty list of all the things floating around in your head. Once you've written them down on paper, you don't feel the need to keep noodling them in your head. You can let go.
What else works for you? If you have some tried-and-true tricks for focus, please share them. Lack of focus can strike all of us at one time or another. And for some people, it can be a real issue.
Several of my clients have told me it's one of the things they find helpful about our coaching work: I help them focus so they can take one step at a time to get to whatever goal they have set. It's hard work to focus when your creative side keeps producing wonderful and intriguing ideas. And I always tell my clients to not stifle that wonderful creative spirit. It's a gift. But as with so many of our gifts and talents, it has a flip side. And that side needs some help once in a while if you're going to get where you want to be!
May I suggest 3 things that might help you focus when your head is spinning?
• Get physical. Often when you go for a brisk walk, get on the treadmill, jump rope or do something that gets you down into your body, your mind can relax and let go of all those swirling thoughts for a while. That can help clear your head so you can return to the task at hand with more focus.
• Pay attention to your breathing. Breathe deeply, pushing out your stomach on the inhale to let in as much air as possible, and deflating it as you exhale, letting out all the air you can. Concentrate on your breathing for 5 or 10 minutes. When you really let yourself concentrate on your breathing, you won't be thinking of other things.
• Make a quick-and-dirty list of all the things floating around in your head. Once you've written them down on paper, you don't feel the need to keep noodling them in your head. You can let go.
What else works for you? If you have some tried-and-true tricks for focus, please share them. Lack of focus can strike all of us at one time or another. And for some people, it can be a real issue.
Monday, January 7, 2013
No one-size-fits-all solution
Several of my friends and many of my clients are considering new career directions. Unsure of what to pursue, they're casting about for focus and direction.
As I listen to them share their stories, I am again made aware of the differences in how we each operate. Some clients (and friends) do best starting with the Big Picture: drawing up a macro life vision and then pulling out from that the smaller pieces that are absolute necessities for whatever path they choose. Then from there, they narrow it even further into small steps and goals. When one goal is met, they set another. And another.
Others begin with the small steps because that's how they work best. They don't do well working with the Big Picture—and sometimes can't even imagine such a vision. They start with the smaller pieces of things they'd like to have in a career. What are the non-negotiables? What do I need? What do I want? And then they work on broadening the vision once they have several small steps.
What's important is that you know your own style. What works best for you? You don't need to fit into someone else's problem-solving framework. Go with what works best for you. There is no one-size-fits-all solution or structure to follow. Understand—and appreciate—your individual style. It's not good or bad. It just is what it is: your style!
If you have any sort of transition issue, whether career, relationship, health or other, and you would like some help sorting through all the pieces, please contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary phone strategy session (or if you live near me and prefer, we can set up a face-to-face session).
As I listen to them share their stories, I am again made aware of the differences in how we each operate. Some clients (and friends) do best starting with the Big Picture: drawing up a macro life vision and then pulling out from that the smaller pieces that are absolute necessities for whatever path they choose. Then from there, they narrow it even further into small steps and goals. When one goal is met, they set another. And another.
Others begin with the small steps because that's how they work best. They don't do well working with the Big Picture—and sometimes can't even imagine such a vision. They start with the smaller pieces of things they'd like to have in a career. What are the non-negotiables? What do I need? What do I want? And then they work on broadening the vision once they have several small steps.
What's important is that you know your own style. What works best for you? You don't need to fit into someone else's problem-solving framework. Go with what works best for you. There is no one-size-fits-all solution or structure to follow. Understand—and appreciate—your individual style. It's not good or bad. It just is what it is: your style!
If you have any sort of transition issue, whether career, relationship, health or other, and you would like some help sorting through all the pieces, please contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary phone strategy session (or if you live near me and prefer, we can set up a face-to-face session).
Friday, October 19, 2012
Goals bring hope
Setting goals is a life-affirming activity, isn't it? No matter what your state, you can have goals. In fact, I remember a powerful presentation by a woman who suffered a bout of severe depression. She said it had been so disabling that she found it nearly impossible to get out of bed each morning. She felt enveloped in darkness day after day. She was immobilized.
At one point during this "dark night of the soul," her only goal was to get out of bed for a while each morning. And each day she did so, she gave herself credit for meeting her goal. It was huge to her. That success allowed her to create other goals, seemingly small to others but large to her.
Even as we approach life's end, we can set small and attainable goals. Perhaps we can promise ourselves to express our gratitude to those we love for what they've added to our life. Or we can vow to make those days the best they can be for ourselves and those around us.
No matter where we are in life, it's important to set goals and create dreams and visions. It affirms that we are still engaged with life and still have some hope—even if that hope is so slender and fragile as it was for the woman with severe depression.
At one point during this "dark night of the soul," her only goal was to get out of bed for a while each morning. And each day she did so, she gave herself credit for meeting her goal. It was huge to her. That success allowed her to create other goals, seemingly small to others but large to her.
Even as we approach life's end, we can set small and attainable goals. Perhaps we can promise ourselves to express our gratitude to those we love for what they've added to our life. Or we can vow to make those days the best they can be for ourselves and those around us.
No matter where we are in life, it's important to set goals and create dreams and visions. It affirms that we are still engaged with life and still have some hope—even if that hope is so slender and fragile as it was for the woman with severe depression.
Friday, September 14, 2012
One step at a time
My oldest son has taken up distance biking this past year. It reduces his stress levels and is keeping him fit and healthy. He participated in a 90-mile race recently and told me he felt "awesome" afterward. He said he was in the race to "complete it, not to compete." He had set a goal and met it—and though he was exhausted after the race, he was jazzed and energized.
I once asked him how he kept going on his 60- or 80-mile biking excursions, especially in the face of high heat or strong wind. He said, "I set small goals. I urge myself to just get to the top of the hill or to the next tree. And when I get to that goal, I urge myself on with the next goal: one more hill, one more tree to pass."
That's a good way to approach life, isn't it? Rather than looking at the huge mountain of work ahead, take one small bit at a time. Several small steps add up to something big.
Do you have something looming large in your life? A career or relationship issue? A health challenge? Losing weight or starting an exercise program? Start small. Feel the success of that. Then pick another small step. In time you will feel "awesome" just like my son. You will know the infusion of energy that success brings!
I once asked him how he kept going on his 60- or 80-mile biking excursions, especially in the face of high heat or strong wind. He said, "I set small goals. I urge myself to just get to the top of the hill or to the next tree. And when I get to that goal, I urge myself on with the next goal: one more hill, one more tree to pass."
That's a good way to approach life, isn't it? Rather than looking at the huge mountain of work ahead, take one small bit at a time. Several small steps add up to something big.
Do you have something looming large in your life? A career or relationship issue? A health challenge? Losing weight or starting an exercise program? Start small. Feel the success of that. Then pick another small step. In time you will feel "awesome" just like my son. You will know the infusion of energy that success brings!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Look back—and celebrate!
Being present right here, right now is a great way to live. Sometimes it is helpful and necessary to look back, however.
I often ask clients to remember back to how they felt when we first began the coaching process. Many of them come to me totally burned out, in a stuck place, unhappy with themselves and/or their life situation, afraid, or absolutely unfocused. No problem. That's what coaching is all about: helping someone access their own solutions in order to move forward. Listening someone into a new and better place.
So I like to take time occasionally to have my clients remember where they were when they began—and to celebrate their progress. So often when progress is gradual, as most of it is, we aren't even aware that we have moved forward. It is good to see how far we've come and stop to celebrate those victories, for they definitely are victories! When we do that, we receive new impetus to continue on the path toward our bigger goals.
From time to time, I like to do what I call "harvesting my journals." These are the times when I'll look back in my journals to see where I was one month ago, one year ago, five years ago. Often I will have completely forgotten that some challenge was weighing me down then, and I am so surprised by how far I've moved beyond that. However, sometimes I see that an issue continues to plague me and is more of a neuralgic problem. OK, time to get down to work on that one. Looking back really can help us move forward.
I often ask clients to remember back to how they felt when we first began the coaching process. Many of them come to me totally burned out, in a stuck place, unhappy with themselves and/or their life situation, afraid, or absolutely unfocused. No problem. That's what coaching is all about: helping someone access their own solutions in order to move forward. Listening someone into a new and better place.
So I like to take time occasionally to have my clients remember where they were when they began—and to celebrate their progress. So often when progress is gradual, as most of it is, we aren't even aware that we have moved forward. It is good to see how far we've come and stop to celebrate those victories, for they definitely are victories! When we do that, we receive new impetus to continue on the path toward our bigger goals.
From time to time, I like to do what I call "harvesting my journals." These are the times when I'll look back in my journals to see where I was one month ago, one year ago, five years ago. Often I will have completely forgotten that some challenge was weighing me down then, and I am so surprised by how far I've moved beyond that. However, sometimes I see that an issue continues to plague me and is more of a neuralgic problem. OK, time to get down to work on that one. Looking back really can help us move forward.
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