We know that change is a normal part of life. Without change, we'd never grow up. Change, evolution, transformation—call it what you will. It's essential. I love to think of the butterfly, which started life as a lowly caterpillar and wound itself into a dark cocoon, where it seemed to die. And then suddenly, all those same parts that formed that caterpillar changed into a beautiful butterfly. I love that image of transformation, which is why I've chosen it as the symbol of my Way2Grow Coaching practice.
French author Arnaud Desjardins, who wrote the book The Jump Into Life: Moving Beyond Fear, once said:
"Life is expressed in a perpetual sequence of changes. The birth of the child is the death of the baby, just as the birth of the adolescent is the death of the child."
On and on it goes. Perpetual change. Why then do we so fear change? It's a normal, yes a valued and essential, part of our lives. So let's embrace it and be grateful for new life and transformation. Be grateful we learn and grow. And let yourself soar like the beautiful butterfly that emerges from the cocoon!
Showing posts with label caterpillar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label caterpillar. Show all posts
Monday, November 5, 2018
Friday, February 16, 2018
About that cocoon...
The caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly transformation process is quite amazing. What seems like dying really is new life. But here's the deal: It wouldn't be new life if the butterfly didn't work its way out of the cocoon when the time is right.
We, too, have things in our lives that represent cocoons. And you simply cannot fly and be your best self if you don't leave the cocoon behind.
What's your cocoon? Are you stuck in a situation that you really should leave behind and from which you should fly away? It might be a job that is killing your spirit or a relationship that's dragging you down or doing you harm. It might be your own unhealthy behaviors, things that need changing. Or it could be old tapes and messages that hold you back and keep you stuck. It might be your negative attitudes about yourself or about life in general. It could even be losses that you haven't ever grieved that are piling up inside and constricting your heart.
There are so many things that can become a cocoon. It's good to check periodically and see whether you are stuck and need to break free. Now's a good time to do so! Let go, let go, let go.
We, too, have things in our lives that represent cocoons. And you simply cannot fly and be your best self if you don't leave the cocoon behind.
What's your cocoon? Are you stuck in a situation that you really should leave behind and from which you should fly away? It might be a job that is killing your spirit or a relationship that's dragging you down or doing you harm. It might be your own unhealthy behaviors, things that need changing. Or it could be old tapes and messages that hold you back and keep you stuck. It might be your negative attitudes about yourself or about life in general. It could even be losses that you haven't ever grieved that are piling up inside and constricting your heart.
There are so many things that can become a cocoon. It's good to check periodically and see whether you are stuck and need to break free. Now's a good time to do so! Let go, let go, let go.
Friday, January 26, 2018
Moving on
Last week I learned that someone is leaving a group of which I'm part because she no longer feels comfortable, accepted and heard there. I'm really sad about that—and want to do all I can to be sure this group that I so value is open to all voices.
All of that said, however, I do also firmly believe that there are times when a person has to follow her heart and conscience and move on. I've had to do that myself on occasion. It's always a tough decision to let go of something that once was meaningful—and particularly, of the people who once felt like my tribe. I also know the new opportunities that can arise once I have let go of a situation or group and moved on.
Do you have anything in your life right now that requires a second look? Or that might lead you to let go and leave a person or a group? Don't be afraid to step out into something new. Or even to step out into the unknown temporarily.
A caterpillar can be our example: When the caterpillar enters a cocoon, it seems like dying. However, as we know, it's simply the gateway to an exciting new life form—a butterfly that soars above the flowers rather than crawling along the ground or among the leaves. Think of it!
All of that said, however, I do also firmly believe that there are times when a person has to follow her heart and conscience and move on. I've had to do that myself on occasion. It's always a tough decision to let go of something that once was meaningful—and particularly, of the people who once felt like my tribe. I also know the new opportunities that can arise once I have let go of a situation or group and moved on.
Do you have anything in your life right now that requires a second look? Or that might lead you to let go and leave a person or a group? Don't be afraid to step out into something new. Or even to step out into the unknown temporarily.
A caterpillar can be our example: When the caterpillar enters a cocoon, it seems like dying. However, as we know, it's simply the gateway to an exciting new life form—a butterfly that soars above the flowers rather than crawling along the ground or among the leaves. Think of it!
Friday, January 19, 2018
For those who want to be more
A book I first read when I was just in my 30s is still one of my favorites. Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus, illustrated like a children's book, is a book for adults who want to be what they were meant to be—who want the "more" of life.
I have so many favorite passages. Here's one part I especially like:
"Butterfly—that word," she thought. "Tell me, sir, what is a butterfly?
"It's what you are meant to become. It flies with beautiful wings and joins the earth to heaven. It drinks only nectar from the flowers and carries the seeds of love from one flower to another.
"Without butterflies, the world would soon have few flowers."
So here's a thought for you and me as we look out onto cold or snow-covered landscapes that are momentarily free from flowers and butterflies: How are you carrying the seeds of love? How do you see yourself searching for the "more" of life? How are you moving toward becoming all you were meant to be?
What might you need to do to soar like a butterfly and "join the earth to heaven"?
I have so many favorite passages. Here's one part I especially like:
"Butterfly—that word," she thought. "Tell me, sir, what is a butterfly?
"It's what you are meant to become. It flies with beautiful wings and joins the earth to heaven. It drinks only nectar from the flowers and carries the seeds of love from one flower to another.
"Without butterflies, the world would soon have few flowers."
So here's a thought for you and me as we look out onto cold or snow-covered landscapes that are momentarily free from flowers and butterflies: How are you carrying the seeds of love? How do you see yourself searching for the "more" of life? How are you moving toward becoming all you were meant to be?
What might you need to do to soar like a butterfly and "join the earth to heaven"?
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
The discomfort of transformation
Do you ever find yourself in an uncomfortable place on the way to something new? You might be looking back over your life and feeling the weight of undone tasks or roads not taken. You might be living with regret. You may be looking ahead and wondering whether you're on the right path at all. There are so many reasons for us to sometimes experience that tough transition place, that desert between where we've been and where we'd like to go.
I often liken that to time in the cocoon when the caterpillar has given up its identity to transform into something new. Does the caterpillar know when it goes into a cocoon that it will emerge a beautiful butterfly able to fly rather than crawl along the ground? Doubtful. But somehow it trusts the process and does what it's programmed to do. And sure enough, a butterfly does emerge.
While we're not caterpillars, there are some similarities. There are many times in our life when we need to give up some of what we know to be part of our identity, go into a transition phase or a cocoon and let things settle out until we're ready to emerge transformed. The trickiest part for us as humans may well be to be OK with that in-between stage. Be OK with life in the cocoon for a while. For all of what you need for transformation is contained within you just as all the caterpillar needs for its transformation is contained within. Trust the process. Live with the discomfort.
If you would like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
I often liken that to time in the cocoon when the caterpillar has given up its identity to transform into something new. Does the caterpillar know when it goes into a cocoon that it will emerge a beautiful butterfly able to fly rather than crawl along the ground? Doubtful. But somehow it trusts the process and does what it's programmed to do. And sure enough, a butterfly does emerge.
While we're not caterpillars, there are some similarities. There are many times in our life when we need to give up some of what we know to be part of our identity, go into a transition phase or a cocoon and let things settle out until we're ready to emerge transformed. The trickiest part for us as humans may well be to be OK with that in-between stage. Be OK with life in the cocoon for a while. For all of what you need for transformation is contained within you just as all the caterpillar needs for its transformation is contained within. Trust the process. Live with the discomfort.
If you would like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Mid-life: An open door
In her book Gift from the Sea, Anne Morrow Lindbergh talks about our middle years as a time of shedding. She writes: "One is afraid. Naturally. Who is not afraid of pure space—that breath-taking empty space of an open door? But despite fear, one goes through to the room beyond."
And when we go through to that room beyond, we can be free. As Lindbergh says, "Perhaps one can at last in middle age, if not earlier, be completely oneself. And what a liberation that would be!" She asks, "For is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth, even a kind of second adolescence?"
And then being able to concentrate on our inner life, on who we really were created to be, much freer of masks and armor than ever before, we move forward far lighter—like the caterpillar that has been transformed into a butterfly. This may look like a withdrawal from the world, an isolation of sorts. But it's not really that, as Kathleen Fischer says in her book Autumn Gospel: Women in the Second Half of Life. "...a strong inner life enables us to move outward with fewer conflicts and greater clarity. It solidifies our sense of self and our values. It is difficult to really love others if we cannot love ourselves, and hard to love a true self that remains deeply hidden. What feels like emptiness inside us may be a self that we do not know, one that has never been loved."
Wow! These middle years and beyond are so full of promise. This is not a time for despair. A time for boredom or hopelessness. Adventure awaits. Take the journey through that open door—into the room beyond!
And when we go through to that room beyond, we can be free. As Lindbergh says, "Perhaps one can at last in middle age, if not earlier, be completely oneself. And what a liberation that would be!" She asks, "For is it not possible that middle age can be looked upon as a period of second flowering, second growth, even a kind of second adolescence?"
And then being able to concentrate on our inner life, on who we really were created to be, much freer of masks and armor than ever before, we move forward far lighter—like the caterpillar that has been transformed into a butterfly. This may look like a withdrawal from the world, an isolation of sorts. But it's not really that, as Kathleen Fischer says in her book Autumn Gospel: Women in the Second Half of Life. "...a strong inner life enables us to move outward with fewer conflicts and greater clarity. It solidifies our sense of self and our values. It is difficult to really love others if we cannot love ourselves, and hard to love a true self that remains deeply hidden. What feels like emptiness inside us may be a self that we do not know, one that has never been loved."
Wow! These middle years and beyond are so full of promise. This is not a time for despair. A time for boredom or hopelessness. Adventure awaits. Take the journey through that open door—into the room beyond!
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Cocoons are messy
Change is messy. It can be painful. It doesn't matter whether it's a huge change or something smaller. It's not easy. Sometimes we get there through a decision we've made. Other times, change is thrust upon us. It can be frightening either way. We experience all the shifts in the way things were.
Then there's that transition period. That's really messy. It's like the caterpillar inside the cocoon—in the process of becoming a beautiful butterfly. The inside of the cocoon is a soupy mess of the caterpillar broken down. No shape. Messy. Scary. That's OK. It's a necessary part of the transformation. If you're in a transition phase, just be with the discomfort and the anxiety. It won't last forever.
Soon, you'll be that beautiful butterfly, soaring above the flowers—and on to the next stage of your life!
If you'd like to discuss this at all, I invite you to contact me.
Then there's that transition period. That's really messy. It's like the caterpillar inside the cocoon—in the process of becoming a beautiful butterfly. The inside of the cocoon is a soupy mess of the caterpillar broken down. No shape. Messy. Scary. That's OK. It's a necessary part of the transformation. If you're in a transition phase, just be with the discomfort and the anxiety. It won't last forever.
Soon, you'll be that beautiful butterfly, soaring above the flowers—and on to the next stage of your life!
If you'd like to discuss this at all, I invite you to contact me.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
It's OK to not know
In conversation with someone recently, we discussed that point at which we aren't sure what's ahead for us and don't even always know the questions to ask in our discernment time. It's an uncomfortable time, a time of not-knowing. Sometimes it's a time of paradox, of holding two different things to be true at once. But it's such an important and fruitful time.
I like what poet and author Mark Nepo says in his book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: "It seems our capacity to withstand the tension of opposites is key to entering paradox, and key to that is becoming comfortable with the space of not-knowing. Understandably, most of us are uncomfortable when things are undefined, when things are not clearly to or fro, up or down, left or right, or right or wrong. But the deeper truths always take time to reach us, and it is our job to enter a practice of waiting openly—which involves enduring the tensions of not-knowing. This requires a crucial, ongoing effort not to prematurely name or define what we encounter in life."
Wait. It's OK to just be. To enter into the not-knowing phase. Take your time. Transformation doesn't happen overnight. Think of the caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly process. It can't be rushed. Soon you, too, will be ready to soar!
I like what poet and author Mark Nepo says in his book Seven Thousand Ways to Listen: "It seems our capacity to withstand the tension of opposites is key to entering paradox, and key to that is becoming comfortable with the space of not-knowing. Understandably, most of us are uncomfortable when things are undefined, when things are not clearly to or fro, up or down, left or right, or right or wrong. But the deeper truths always take time to reach us, and it is our job to enter a practice of waiting openly—which involves enduring the tensions of not-knowing. This requires a crucial, ongoing effort not to prematurely name or define what we encounter in life."
Wait. It's OK to just be. To enter into the not-knowing phase. Take your time. Transformation doesn't happen overnight. Think of the caterpillar-cocoon-butterfly process. It can't be rushed. Soon you, too, will be ready to soar!
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
You have what you need
I love the concept of transformation or the metamorphosis that occurs when a caterpillar creates its cocoon and later emerges as a beautiful butterfly. Isn't it just amazing? That's why I use the butterfly as a symbol for my Way2Grow coaching practice.
What's fascinating to me is that the caterpillar's body contains all it needs to become a butterfly. All the parts are there. When the caterpillar is inside the cocoon it has built, those parts develop and rearrange themselves out of the "caterpillar soup" that's created when the caterpillar's tissues dissolve inside the cocoon.
This reminds me that you and I have all we need inside, too, to become beautiful butterflies who can soar through life. We don't always remember that inside us, we have the resources and abilities we need. Often, we need someone else to urge and encourage us to look deeply within to discover these resources. Sometimes, though, when we're in a difficult situation—perhaps facing illness or job loss—we discover strength and serenity we hadn't known was there. Tough times can actually pull us down into our core to draw out reserves we hadn't drawn on before.
What do you need right now? What would it take for you to discover your own resources?
If you would like some coaching to access your wisdom and abilities, I invite you to contact me. I always offer a complimentary strategy session to see whether coaching can be of help to you.
What's fascinating to me is that the caterpillar's body contains all it needs to become a butterfly. All the parts are there. When the caterpillar is inside the cocoon it has built, those parts develop and rearrange themselves out of the "caterpillar soup" that's created when the caterpillar's tissues dissolve inside the cocoon.
This reminds me that you and I have all we need inside, too, to become beautiful butterflies who can soar through life. We don't always remember that inside us, we have the resources and abilities we need. Often, we need someone else to urge and encourage us to look deeply within to discover these resources. Sometimes, though, when we're in a difficult situation—perhaps facing illness or job loss—we discover strength and serenity we hadn't known was there. Tough times can actually pull us down into our core to draw out reserves we hadn't drawn on before.
What do you need right now? What would it take for you to discover your own resources?
If you would like some coaching to access your wisdom and abilities, I invite you to contact me. I always offer a complimentary strategy session to see whether coaching can be of help to you.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Let's hear it for big life questions
Are you asking some of life's big questions lately? Uncertain of next steps, whether that's about your career or some relationship—or maybe even a health or weight issue?
What direction should I go? What do I want to be when I grow up? How can I recover my passion for life? How can I care for myself better? These and other big questions are simply part of life's journey. Please don't beat up on yourself because you don't know the answers. Sometimes we think we should know. At times we think everyone else in the world is certain and decisive. What's wrong with me, we ask. Nothing is wrong. You are normal if you have questions.
Simply befriend yourself and love your questions. Let them live inside you for a while. Bring them out into the light of day, either for your eyes only (through journaling, for example) or by sharing with a friend or loved one, a coach or therapist. Work with them. Play with them. Love them. Live them.
These questions aren't a sign of weakness or of indecision. They're often spurs to growth and new discoveries for us. It is most often through those big questions that we are able to move from the caterpillar stage of life right into the cocoon and eventually out again to take on life as a beautiful, soaring butterfly. So how bad is that? Quite a good outcome, I'd say.
What direction should I go? What do I want to be when I grow up? How can I recover my passion for life? How can I care for myself better? These and other big questions are simply part of life's journey. Please don't beat up on yourself because you don't know the answers. Sometimes we think we should know. At times we think everyone else in the world is certain and decisive. What's wrong with me, we ask. Nothing is wrong. You are normal if you have questions.
Simply befriend yourself and love your questions. Let them live inside you for a while. Bring them out into the light of day, either for your eyes only (through journaling, for example) or by sharing with a friend or loved one, a coach or therapist. Work with them. Play with them. Love them. Live them.
These questions aren't a sign of weakness or of indecision. They're often spurs to growth and new discoveries for us. It is most often through those big questions that we are able to move from the caterpillar stage of life right into the cocoon and eventually out again to take on life as a beautiful, soaring butterfly. So how bad is that? Quite a good outcome, I'd say.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
You as a work-in-progress
Have you ever stopped to consider who you might be today without the hurts and pain you have experienced? I know, I know. There's no way you and I can really know the answer to that question. I do think, however, that it's worth reflecting upon.
As I look back on my life—at the losses and disappointments—I see how those things have forged pathways into my heart that have filled in with tears, tenderness, compassion and a depth of love that I know I wasn't capable of feeling on my own. Experiencing a broken relationship when I was just a young woman opened me to others who experienced similar things. Years later, my divorce marked the first time I physically felt what it meant to have a broken heart. After the grief and ultimately, the healing, I grew in ways I never imagined. My sensitivity to others grew, too. Then after two huge career disappointments—career moves into which I had poured my heart—I was opened even further. And later, losing the position from which I thought I would retire someday pushed me way, way beyond where I thought I might be. Where initially that was devastating, it actually became something freeing deep inside me. Who knew?
Through all of that, and through other losses and disappointments, I have been softened. I have become more authentic. I'm still very much a work-in-progress. But I am learning to drop masks and behaviors that really don't fit me any longer. I am learning to express my love and my humanity openly—and to worry far less about what people will think. Now I wonder why I ever wasted so much time worrying about the things I did. In my deepened capacity to have compassion for others, I am also learning self-compassion; so I let go of the need to wonder why I thought and felt what I did in the past. I was who I was then. And now I am ever-evolving—and who knows where I will be in the future?
So many cocoons. So many chances to emerge as that beautiful butterfly all over again! Where are you today? Who are you becoming? Celebrate all the transformations: past, present and future!
As I look back on my life—at the losses and disappointments—I see how those things have forged pathways into my heart that have filled in with tears, tenderness, compassion and a depth of love that I know I wasn't capable of feeling on my own. Experiencing a broken relationship when I was just a young woman opened me to others who experienced similar things. Years later, my divorce marked the first time I physically felt what it meant to have a broken heart. After the grief and ultimately, the healing, I grew in ways I never imagined. My sensitivity to others grew, too. Then after two huge career disappointments—career moves into which I had poured my heart—I was opened even further. And later, losing the position from which I thought I would retire someday pushed me way, way beyond where I thought I might be. Where initially that was devastating, it actually became something freeing deep inside me. Who knew?
Through all of that, and through other losses and disappointments, I have been softened. I have become more authentic. I'm still very much a work-in-progress. But I am learning to drop masks and behaviors that really don't fit me any longer. I am learning to express my love and my humanity openly—and to worry far less about what people will think. Now I wonder why I ever wasted so much time worrying about the things I did. In my deepened capacity to have compassion for others, I am also learning self-compassion; so I let go of the need to wonder why I thought and felt what I did in the past. I was who I was then. And now I am ever-evolving—and who knows where I will be in the future?
So many cocoons. So many chances to emerge as that beautiful butterfly all over again! Where are you today? Who are you becoming? Celebrate all the transformations: past, present and future!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
'It just takes time'
It's been a long time since I have talked about a book I dearly love: Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus. I first read the book back in the 1970s shortly after it was published. I have returned to it many times since. It has so much to say to me. Because it speaks of the letting go and transformational process of caterpillar to cocoon to butterfly, it is perfect for my website, too, of course.
Just yesterday I thought about the efforts of one of the story's lead caterpillars, Stripe. He saw a towering pile of caterpillars and, thinking that was the way to get ahead in life, climbed onto the pile and tried to move his way up to the top. It wasn't a pretty process. He was miserable and didn't really know what, if anything, was at the top anyway. He felt ruthless crawling on other caterpillars to get to the top. Eventually, Stripe follows the lead of Yellow, the other lead caterpillar, who realized she needed to simply let go and become what she was meant to be: a beautiful butterfly. Stripe finally knew he, too, needed to do the same. As the book says of the cocoon process: "It got darker and darker and [Stripe] was afraid. He felt he had to let go of everything...." That, of course, is when his transformation begins.
And, as it says earlier in the book, "... a cocoon is no escape. It's an in-between house where the change takes place. It's a big step since you can never return to caterpillar life. During the change it will seem to you or to anyone who might peek that nothing is happening—but the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time."
Indeed, transformation takes time. So don't lose hope if you're still in transition and on your way to becoming that beautiful butterfly who can soar! It all begins with letting go.
Just yesterday I thought about the efforts of one of the story's lead caterpillars, Stripe. He saw a towering pile of caterpillars and, thinking that was the way to get ahead in life, climbed onto the pile and tried to move his way up to the top. It wasn't a pretty process. He was miserable and didn't really know what, if anything, was at the top anyway. He felt ruthless crawling on other caterpillars to get to the top. Eventually, Stripe follows the lead of Yellow, the other lead caterpillar, who realized she needed to simply let go and become what she was meant to be: a beautiful butterfly. Stripe finally knew he, too, needed to do the same. As the book says of the cocoon process: "It got darker and darker and [Stripe] was afraid. He felt he had to let go of everything...." That, of course, is when his transformation begins.
And, as it says earlier in the book, "... a cocoon is no escape. It's an in-between house where the change takes place. It's a big step since you can never return to caterpillar life. During the change it will seem to you or to anyone who might peek that nothing is happening—but the butterfly is already becoming. It just takes time."
Indeed, transformation takes time. So don't lose hope if you're still in transition and on your way to becoming that beautiful butterfly who can soar! It all begins with letting go.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Be here now
I just came across something a friend sent me in a 2005 email. I have no idea who wrote this but the words really struck me today. And I'm guessing they'll speak to many of you, too.
"There is enormous power in this moment. The more fully you experience what is here right now, the more that power is available to you.
"Are you angry or bitter, disappointed or resentful about what has happened in the past? Then much of the power of this moment will be out of your reach.
"Are you anxious and worried about something that may or may not happen in the future? Then you will miss out on the opportunity to create real and lasting value from this powerful moment you are in.
"Imagine that everything you are, everything you know, everything you care about, is focused into this very moment. And feel the enormous power of what you can, right here and now, do with it all.
"Rise above the murky fog of what could have been and what someday might or might not come to pass. Focus the whole of your being on what is, and on the overflowing abundant opportunities this moment presents to you.
"There is great and wonderful power in this very moment, in who you are, in where you are right now. See it, be it, and let yourself live it fully."
So let go of old disappointments, stop living like the caterpillar. Prepare to live in this moment you've been given. And soar—like the beautiful butterfly you were meant to be!
"There is enormous power in this moment. The more fully you experience what is here right now, the more that power is available to you.
"Are you angry or bitter, disappointed or resentful about what has happened in the past? Then much of the power of this moment will be out of your reach.
"Are you anxious and worried about something that may or may not happen in the future? Then you will miss out on the opportunity to create real and lasting value from this powerful moment you are in.
"Imagine that everything you are, everything you know, everything you care about, is focused into this very moment. And feel the enormous power of what you can, right here and now, do with it all.
"Rise above the murky fog of what could have been and what someday might or might not come to pass. Focus the whole of your being on what is, and on the overflowing abundant opportunities this moment presents to you.
"There is great and wonderful power in this very moment, in who you are, in where you are right now. See it, be it, and let yourself live it fully."
So let go of old disappointments, stop living like the caterpillar. Prepare to live in this moment you've been given. And soar—like the beautiful butterfly you were meant to be!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Limbo time
For many of my clients, that time between what is and what they want is the most difficult. Time in the cocoon. Transition time. Fallow time. Limbo time. Whatever you call it, it's messy and difficult, and it takes more patience than many of us have.
If you are a caterpillar crawling around on the ground, that's all you know. You know what to expect. And when you're the butterfly soaring from flower to flower, that's the life you know. You probably don't remember the crawling days!
But that time in between—time in the cocoon—when you're neither a caterpillar nor yet a butterfly. That's messy. It's a time not to be rushed. A lot is happening inside that cocoon.
You know what happens if you try let the butterfly out of the cocoon before it emerges on its own. It dies. That also happens if you try to force the butterfly to fly before its wings have dried off and the entire transformational process is finished.
So it is with you. Sometimes you just need to be in that cocoon, that limbo time. Life changes and transformations are a process. I invite you to do all you can to be comfortable with that time, to let it be what it needs to be. Breathe deeply. Take up yoga. Recite mantras. Do whatever it takes to be calm and open—open to all the new possibilities! Let the change happen.
Where are you now? Where would you like to be? Contact me if you have a life change you'd like to work on.
If you are a caterpillar crawling around on the ground, that's all you know. You know what to expect. And when you're the butterfly soaring from flower to flower, that's the life you know. You probably don't remember the crawling days!
But that time in between—time in the cocoon—when you're neither a caterpillar nor yet a butterfly. That's messy. It's a time not to be rushed. A lot is happening inside that cocoon.
You know what happens if you try let the butterfly out of the cocoon before it emerges on its own. It dies. That also happens if you try to force the butterfly to fly before its wings have dried off and the entire transformational process is finished.
So it is with you. Sometimes you just need to be in that cocoon, that limbo time. Life changes and transformations are a process. I invite you to do all you can to be comfortable with that time, to let it be what it needs to be. Breathe deeply. Take up yoga. Recite mantras. Do whatever it takes to be calm and open—open to all the new possibilities! Let the change happen.
Where are you now? Where would you like to be? Contact me if you have a life change you'd like to work on.
Monday, March 12, 2012
"Live the questions"
So many people are totally discouraged with their careers or with where they are in life. How about you? Do you like where you are now? Are you (mostly) happy with your life? If you are content, enjoy this time of your life. If you are truly intoxicated with life, rejoice. You really are blessed.
If you aren’t, what would you like to change? Perhaps you would just like to tweak a few things in your life to make it work better for you. Or are you looking for major change? Perhaps you’re asking some of the big life questions. Maybe you’re even ready for new dreams.
Embrace change
I encourage you to not be afraid of the change. Embrace it. Don’t back away from the questions. Rather do as poet Rainer Maria Rilke advised and “live the questions.” In his Letters to a Young Poet, he wrote, “… have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. … Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Take the time you need to “live the questions.” Engage whatever help you need in doing so. Explore resources and options. Create space in your life to let the questions float around inside and around you. This is a process, not unlike the caterpillar/cocoon/butterfly transformation. Let it unfold. Contact me if you’d like a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session to discuss this.
If you aren’t, what would you like to change? Perhaps you would just like to tweak a few things in your life to make it work better for you. Or are you looking for major change? Perhaps you’re asking some of the big life questions. Maybe you’re even ready for new dreams.
Embrace change
I encourage you to not be afraid of the change. Embrace it. Don’t back away from the questions. Rather do as poet Rainer Maria Rilke advised and “live the questions.” In his Letters to a Young Poet, he wrote, “… have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. … Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Take the time you need to “live the questions.” Engage whatever help you need in doing so. Explore resources and options. Create space in your life to let the questions float around inside and around you. This is a process, not unlike the caterpillar/cocoon/butterfly transformation. Let it unfold. Contact me if you’d like a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session to discuss this.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The gifts of partnership
Ever find yourself telling someone else about your plans or goals because you know you’ll stick to them if someone else knows?
It’s called “accountability.” And it’s pretty powerful. I know that when I tell my fiancé or one of my friends that I’m starting an exercise program, I will be asked about it. Somehow it’s easier to wiggle out if I’ve only committed in my own mind!
It’s one of the benefits of a coaching relationship. I’ve had several clients tell me that being accountable to me helps keep them on track with what they want to do.
Reaching dreams: How energizing!
The real benefit of that benefit, of course, is that when you do stay on track, you reach the goals for which you’ve been working. You realize dreams. You achieve goals. Your yearnings become live and real. Just writing these words energizes me. Can’t you feel the energy when you imagine yourself setting goals and reaching them?
Picture the caterpillar that has just been transformed in the cocoon and is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly. Imagine that feeling—at long last—of soaring and being what it truly was meant to be.
You too can soar! You can be that butterfly, ready to reach new heights. Let me know today if you would like an exploratory conversation and a no-obligation, complimentary consultation.
If you’re ready for action, I will help you set and meet your goals. I will be your accountability partner. I will help you discover your next steps and best solutions. I will encourage and support you in your choices. Click on the Contact link and let’s move you toward your goals.
It’s called “accountability.” And it’s pretty powerful. I know that when I tell my fiancé or one of my friends that I’m starting an exercise program, I will be asked about it. Somehow it’s easier to wiggle out if I’ve only committed in my own mind!
It’s one of the benefits of a coaching relationship. I’ve had several clients tell me that being accountable to me helps keep them on track with what they want to do.
Reaching dreams: How energizing!
The real benefit of that benefit, of course, is that when you do stay on track, you reach the goals for which you’ve been working. You realize dreams. You achieve goals. Your yearnings become live and real. Just writing these words energizes me. Can’t you feel the energy when you imagine yourself setting goals and reaching them?
Picture the caterpillar that has just been transformed in the cocoon and is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly. Imagine that feeling—at long last—of soaring and being what it truly was meant to be.
You too can soar! You can be that butterfly, ready to reach new heights. Let me know today if you would like an exploratory conversation and a no-obligation, complimentary consultation.
If you’re ready for action, I will help you set and meet your goals. I will be your accountability partner. I will help you discover your next steps and best solutions. I will encourage and support you in your choices. Click on the Contact link and let’s move you toward your goals.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Before flight, the cocoon
We often fear it. We experience it on pretty much a daily basis. We often resist it. It’s as much an inevitable part of life as death and taxes. Yup, it’s change.
Have you experienced big changes in your life recently? Or several small ones? When you do, it’s natural to wonder how you will live in that different world. A question we hear often these days is: What will the “new normal” be?
In his book Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, William Bridges says that the changes don’t do us in; the transitions do. He says the change is the situation (the new job, the new roles, etc.). Bridges defines the transition as “the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation.” In other words, the change is the external event. The transition is the internal work we do.
He describes the three parts of transition as the letting-go stage (which begins when something ends), the neutral zone, and the new beginning. Bridges says, “People make the new beginning only if they have first made an ending and spent some time in the neutral zone.”
Cocoon time
What Bridges calls the neutral zone (the land between what has been and what is to come) I see as the cocoon stage of a butterfly’s transformation. From caterpillar crawling on its belly to soaring butterfly—that metamorphosis only happens because of time spent in a cocoon.
You might see your transitions that way, too. After you acknowledge (and grieve) what is no more, it’s time to let go, time to enter the cocoon—what Bridges calls “the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new.”
Once, to note a big change in my life, I bought a butterfly kit. It underscored for me what an active stage the cocoon is. So much is happening inside that tiny space. It has to if the caterpillar will emerge as a butterfly. You are no different. In that cocoon or neutral stage, that reflective and quiet time when things are sifting and sorting inside us, much is changing. Take the time to stay in the cocoon, the neutral zone, and embrace the inner work that needs to happen before you emerge on the other side—and soar!
Have you experienced big changes in your life recently? Or several small ones? When you do, it’s natural to wonder how you will live in that different world. A question we hear often these days is: What will the “new normal” be?
In his book Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, William Bridges says that the changes don’t do us in; the transitions do. He says the change is the situation (the new job, the new roles, etc.). Bridges defines the transition as “the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation.” In other words, the change is the external event. The transition is the internal work we do.
He describes the three parts of transition as the letting-go stage (which begins when something ends), the neutral zone, and the new beginning. Bridges says, “People make the new beginning only if they have first made an ending and spent some time in the neutral zone.”
Cocoon time
What Bridges calls the neutral zone (the land between what has been and what is to come) I see as the cocoon stage of a butterfly’s transformation. From caterpillar crawling on its belly to soaring butterfly—that metamorphosis only happens because of time spent in a cocoon.
You might see your transitions that way, too. After you acknowledge (and grieve) what is no more, it’s time to let go, time to enter the cocoon—what Bridges calls “the limbo between the old sense of identity and the new.”
Once, to note a big change in my life, I bought a butterfly kit. It underscored for me what an active stage the cocoon is. So much is happening inside that tiny space. It has to if the caterpillar will emerge as a butterfly. You are no different. In that cocoon or neutral stage, that reflective and quiet time when things are sifting and sorting inside us, much is changing. Take the time to stay in the cocoon, the neutral zone, and embrace the inner work that needs to happen before you emerge on the other side—and soar!
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