I just heard a wonderful quote from author and motivational speaker Wayne Dyer: "When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself."
Wow, that's powerful. It's a good reminder to tend to our own "stuff" rather than worry about what others are doing or not doing. It's so much easier to judge others rather than have to face our own fears, insecurities and failures, isn't it? But it really gets us nowhere. Whenever I become critical of someone else, I try to remember to stop right there and instead think of what work I have to do on my own "stuff."
That said, I don't want all of life to become simply work on my "stuff" either. I want fun. I want play. I want adventure and joy to be a big part of life.
What's on your list for this year? More play time? More fun? A new career you want to discover? Perhaps new ways to spend your retirement years? Different ways to connect with your children or grandchildren? For what do you yearn? What are your desires?
Whatever it is, I encourage you to go for it. The present is the only time we know we have. Who knows what the future contains? Don't wait. Live fully right now!
Showing posts with label yearnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yearnings. Show all posts
Monday, January 4, 2016
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Passions at work
One of my pastors asked me to talk last Sunday about how God is using my passions. The time I spent reflecting on all my passions and how they've been used through the years was worthwhile. So the exercise was possibly far more helpful to me than to any of the listeners in the two worship services at which I spoke.
My passions have long been related to words, story, reading, writing and also to justice for the voiceless and the marginalized (and that includes women, who have been silenced for centuries). All of those loves came together in my journalism career—and they're still being used today in freelance writing, in my life coaching practice and in my part-time work as editor-at-large of Gather magazine.
The process of writing, whether it's for my daily coaching blogs or for a magazine article, is one of finding answers, gaining insights and real revelation. I like what priest and author Henri Nouwen said about it: "The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, creative writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, 'I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write.'"
Indeed, that is what happens. I learn so much in the process.
So what are your passions, your yearnings? How are they being used in your life? And what do you learn as you use them?
My passions have long been related to words, story, reading, writing and also to justice for the voiceless and the marginalized (and that includes women, who have been silenced for centuries). All of those loves came together in my journalism career—and they're still being used today in freelance writing, in my life coaching practice and in my part-time work as editor-at-large of Gather magazine.
The process of writing, whether it's for my daily coaching blogs or for a magazine article, is one of finding answers, gaining insights and real revelation. I like what priest and author Henri Nouwen said about it: "The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, creative writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, 'I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write.'"
Indeed, that is what happens. I learn so much in the process.
So what are your passions, your yearnings? How are they being used in your life? And what do you learn as you use them?
Friday, September 18, 2015
Dreams and longings
I like the question, If not now, when? It fits for so many situations. When clients face turmoil over career changes and talk about their yearnings and the desire to follow their dreams and their passions, I often ask that. When women talk about longing for some "me-time" and some self-care time and in the same breath, cite their long to-do lists, I often ask it.
When I come up with excuses to not do something I really need or want to do, I ask myself that question.
We don't know whether we'll even have a tomorrow. All we really know for sure is that we have this very moment. Because of that, it just makes sense to make the very best use of this present moment that we can. Insofar as it's possible for you, allow yourself to listen to and follow your dreams, longings, desires, yearnings.
What's missing from your life? What is on your bucket list or thimble list that you really, really want to do? What's preventing you?
Think about what it might mean to you if you had that thing on your list. Think about what it would mean if you never got the chance. Now how much do you want it? Go ahead. If not now, when?
When I come up with excuses to not do something I really need or want to do, I ask myself that question.
We don't know whether we'll even have a tomorrow. All we really know for sure is that we have this very moment. Because of that, it just makes sense to make the very best use of this present moment that we can. Insofar as it's possible for you, allow yourself to listen to and follow your dreams, longings, desires, yearnings.
What's missing from your life? What is on your bucket list or thimble list that you really, really want to do? What's preventing you?
Think about what it might mean to you if you had that thing on your list. Think about what it would mean if you never got the chance. Now how much do you want it? Go ahead. If not now, when?
Monday, August 25, 2014
BFFs help us through
Do you have "girlfriends?" A strong support network of other women? Studies have shown that this is one of the elements in the longevity and well-being of women. We have a "tend and befriend" pattern of relating to one another.
My women's Bible study group is working through a book by Barbara J. Essex titled Girlfriends: Exploring Women's Relationships in the Bible. While some of the relationships between women we study in the Bible aren't exactly friendly (Sarah and Hagar) and some of the women aren't even named (Jephthah's daughter), we are having some good discussions about what constitutes a solid friendship and what those BFF relationships do for us.
Each of us has different experiences of girlfriends—and different expectations. But we all talk about the importance of sharing—sharing concerns, sharing our yearnings, sharing our wisdom. Doing this helps us let go of things we don't need to drag along with us. It helps us stay open to new things. It gives us courage to face our fears. As the old saying goes, it "doubles our joy and divides our grief."
To have a friend, we simply need to be a friend. I like what Albert Camus said: "Don't walk in front of me. I may not follow. Don't walk behind me. I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."
My women's Bible study group is working through a book by Barbara J. Essex titled Girlfriends: Exploring Women's Relationships in the Bible. While some of the relationships between women we study in the Bible aren't exactly friendly (Sarah and Hagar) and some of the women aren't even named (Jephthah's daughter), we are having some good discussions about what constitutes a solid friendship and what those BFF relationships do for us.
Each of us has different experiences of girlfriends—and different expectations. But we all talk about the importance of sharing—sharing concerns, sharing our yearnings, sharing our wisdom. Doing this helps us let go of things we don't need to drag along with us. It helps us stay open to new things. It gives us courage to face our fears. As the old saying goes, it "doubles our joy and divides our grief."
To have a friend, we simply need to be a friend. I like what Albert Camus said: "Don't walk in front of me. I may not follow. Don't walk behind me. I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend."
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Listen to your longings
Did you grow up with messages telling you to pay no attention to desires, yearnings, longings, passions? "Do what needs to be done." "Seeking pleasure leads to no good end." "It's selfish to think about what you desire." We can still hear those same messages in different parts of society today.
Then, on the other hand, we can hear voices saying that pleasure is the only thing. "Get what you want. Don't worry about anyone else." "Have it your way." As with so many things in life, there's some balance to be had, isn't there?
When we do pay attention to our yearnings and passions, we can be more truly ourselves. It is those longings and desires that really give us our juice and lead us to do those things in the world for which we have true passion. Those yearnings bring us energy.
I have long had a passion for justice-seeking, for example. It jazzes me to speak up for and work for justice for those on the margins. Admittedly, it has also led to occasional problems—for example, when I wrote articles that spoke truth to power and named things that needed to be called out. But that's who I am. So that's what I did. And now I'm thinking about how to incorporate those same passions into this stage of my life.
To what desires and yearnings do you need to listen today?
Then, on the other hand, we can hear voices saying that pleasure is the only thing. "Get what you want. Don't worry about anyone else." "Have it your way." As with so many things in life, there's some balance to be had, isn't there?
When we do pay attention to our yearnings and passions, we can be more truly ourselves. It is those longings and desires that really give us our juice and lead us to do those things in the world for which we have true passion. Those yearnings bring us energy.
I have long had a passion for justice-seeking, for example. It jazzes me to speak up for and work for justice for those on the margins. Admittedly, it has also led to occasional problems—for example, when I wrote articles that spoke truth to power and named things that needed to be called out. But that's who I am. So that's what I did. And now I'm thinking about how to incorporate those same passions into this stage of my life.
To what desires and yearnings do you need to listen today?
Monday, April 21, 2014
What's your song?
"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song."
Those words appeared on a lovely greeting card I saw on the shelf in a gift shop recently. The words really caught my eye. Such a simple thought. But so profound.
That sentiment made me think of my increasing love for the questions rather than a search for the answers. More and more these days, what I long for is a place where it's OK to ask questions. A place where there's no "dumb question." A safe setting where others don't judge me for my doubts or for the questions I have for things about which I used to feel so certain. I yearn for places where we can all explore our questions together and move beyond what would be possible if we kept those questions to ourselves.
The sentiment also reminded me that we each have a song. Why am I here? What song do I bring to the world? What do I offer that someone else might need?
What's your song? What have you come to bring into this world that no one else can offer in exactly the same way? We are each completely unique. No one else ever has been just like you or me, and no one else ever will be. And so our song is unique, too. What's yours?
Those words appeared on a lovely greeting card I saw on the shelf in a gift shop recently. The words really caught my eye. Such a simple thought. But so profound.
That sentiment made me think of my increasing love for the questions rather than a search for the answers. More and more these days, what I long for is a place where it's OK to ask questions. A place where there's no "dumb question." A safe setting where others don't judge me for my doubts or for the questions I have for things about which I used to feel so certain. I yearn for places where we can all explore our questions together and move beyond what would be possible if we kept those questions to ourselves.
The sentiment also reminded me that we each have a song. Why am I here? What song do I bring to the world? What do I offer that someone else might need?
What's your song? What have you come to bring into this world that no one else can offer in exactly the same way? We are each completely unique. No one else ever has been just like you or me, and no one else ever will be. And so our song is unique, too. What's yours?
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Is it selfish to pursue desires?
Do you feel selfish for pursuing your desires and longings?
After my divorce, I asked myself what I really wanted. I had absolutely no idea because for years I'd been focused on my husband and three sons and what they needed and wanted. Once I began to explore what I desired, I started feeling selfish for pursuing it. I was still in caregiver/caretaker mode. (We women know that role!) It was through talking with other women, attending workshops, reading books and other methods of gaining insight that I finally began to realize that it is not selfish to follow my yearnings and pursue my dreams. Far from it.
The more I'm in alignment with what I really desire, the more content and joyful I am. And the easier it is for me to reach out to others and to share my gifts with the world. The easier it is to be open and loving to all those around me. I wasn't much good to others when I was in a place of resentment or when I felt invisible and unfulfilled.
"As women get friendly with their true yearnings, which are constantly changing, they see that their pleasure doesn't destroy but creates: energy, beauty, community, love." This comes from a book I've used as a workbook for years and absolutely love: The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life: Create All That You Need With Just What You've Got by Jennifer Louden, who does incredible work with women.
Are you where you want to be with your career and relationships? For what do you most yearn? What are you willing to do to get there?
Please contact me if you would like to explore this.
After my divorce, I asked myself what I really wanted. I had absolutely no idea because for years I'd been focused on my husband and three sons and what they needed and wanted. Once I began to explore what I desired, I started feeling selfish for pursuing it. I was still in caregiver/caretaker mode. (We women know that role!) It was through talking with other women, attending workshops, reading books and other methods of gaining insight that I finally began to realize that it is not selfish to follow my yearnings and pursue my dreams. Far from it.
The more I'm in alignment with what I really desire, the more content and joyful I am. And the easier it is for me to reach out to others and to share my gifts with the world. The easier it is to be open and loving to all those around me. I wasn't much good to others when I was in a place of resentment or when I felt invisible and unfulfilled.
"As women get friendly with their true yearnings, which are constantly changing, they see that their pleasure doesn't destroy but creates: energy, beauty, community, love." This comes from a book I've used as a workbook for years and absolutely love: The Comfort Queen's Guide to Life: Create All That You Need With Just What You've Got by Jennifer Louden, who does incredible work with women.
Are you where you want to be with your career and relationships? For what do you most yearn? What are you willing to do to get there?
Please contact me if you would like to explore this.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
3 questions to help you find your passion
If you are asking the question "What do I want to do (or be) when I grow up?" here are are three other questions that might shed some light for you. If they don't give you definitive answers, they can at least get you started on the journey.
1) When you were a young child, what did you always think you would do? Those early years can tell us a lot about ourselves. They represent our character and personality before we were programmed by society and other life forces. Think about the things you absolutely loved doing then, too—and those you really didn't like.
2) What do you want to do when you retire? Is there some passion you're longing to express but always thought you needed to wait until retirement? Is there any reason you need to wait?
3) What do you want to do before you die? You may find clues to your yearnings and passions by exploring a bucket list or even a thimble list (the smaller things in life you want to do before it's too late).
Dreaming is good. So even if your responses don't seem practical, develop them and write them down. You can worry about practicality after you get several ideas on the table and once you create your action plan to get where you want to go.
1) When you were a young child, what did you always think you would do? Those early years can tell us a lot about ourselves. They represent our character and personality before we were programmed by society and other life forces. Think about the things you absolutely loved doing then, too—and those you really didn't like.
2) What do you want to do when you retire? Is there some passion you're longing to express but always thought you needed to wait until retirement? Is there any reason you need to wait?
3) What do you want to do before you die? You may find clues to your yearnings and passions by exploring a bucket list or even a thimble list (the smaller things in life you want to do before it's too late).
Dreaming is good. So even if your responses don't seem practical, develop them and write them down. You can worry about practicality after you get several ideas on the table and once you create your action plan to get where you want to go.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Finding hope
I recently had a conversation with a woman struggling to choose between what she thought were two quite different career paths. During the course of our talks together over a few weeks' time, she did lots of hard work and reflecting. I asked questions to help her look at her situation in new ways. Events occurred that seemingly came out of the blue for her, too.
The bottom line? She is beginning to see ways that she can combine the best of both worlds into a career path. She is doing both/and thinking. She feels hope now—and a sense of excitement and focus that wasn't there before is settling into her bones.
Isn't it amazing what a difference a day or a week or a month can make? What a difference it makes when two people focus completely on what's happening in the one person's life! That's what I love about being coached by someone else. And that's what I find powerful about the privilege of coaching others. It is extremely exciting to see the shift that can occur—and the possibilities that emerge. It's rewarding to watch hope grow and to see either/or thinking replaced by both/and.
For what do you yearn today? What stands in the way? What do you have to do to get there? I'd love to be part of your journey if you think coaching might help you get from where you are to where you really long to be.
Please contact me today for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary consultation. Let's get you on your way!
The bottom line? She is beginning to see ways that she can combine the best of both worlds into a career path. She is doing both/and thinking. She feels hope now—and a sense of excitement and focus that wasn't there before is settling into her bones.
Isn't it amazing what a difference a day or a week or a month can make? What a difference it makes when two people focus completely on what's happening in the one person's life! That's what I love about being coached by someone else. And that's what I find powerful about the privilege of coaching others. It is extremely exciting to see the shift that can occur—and the possibilities that emerge. It's rewarding to watch hope grow and to see either/or thinking replaced by both/and.
For what do you yearn today? What stands in the way? What do you have to do to get there? I'd love to be part of your journey if you think coaching might help you get from where you are to where you really long to be.
Please contact me today for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary consultation. Let's get you on your way!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Enough “shoulds” already?
“When does the good stuff in life come?” I’ve had women ask me. “I’ve spent my life doing what I needed to do. Now I’m ready for the joy.”
Has your life been filled with “shoulds”? Have you always been responsible? There is nothing wrong with being a responsible adult, with doing what needs to be done. But sometimes you just need to let up a bit—and find ways to bring joy and exuberance into your life.
For what do you yearn? Can you name that deep longing within you?
I invite you to spend time thinking about these life questions. If they don’t pertain to you, consider yourself blessed. If they do, reflect. Journal. Ponder. Talk with others. Start a conversation with others in the Comment box below.
First, think about your desires and longings. Then create your action plan, one small step at a time, to get you from here to there.
I’d love to help you find the “good stuff.” Contact me for a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session today. Let’s get you on your way so you can reach your dreams. It’s time to fly!
Has your life been filled with “shoulds”? Have you always been responsible? There is nothing wrong with being a responsible adult, with doing what needs to be done. But sometimes you just need to let up a bit—and find ways to bring joy and exuberance into your life.
For what do you yearn? Can you name that deep longing within you?
I invite you to spend time thinking about these life questions. If they don’t pertain to you, consider yourself blessed. If they do, reflect. Journal. Ponder. Talk with others. Start a conversation with others in the Comment box below.
First, think about your desires and longings. Then create your action plan, one small step at a time, to get you from here to there.
I’d love to help you find the “good stuff.” Contact me for a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session today. Let’s get you on your way so you can reach your dreams. It’s time to fly!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Spring cleaning
Today is officially the first day of spring. When I grew up, and even in the early years of my marriage, that signaled the time for spring cleaning. Just as did my mother, I tore every room, every drawer, every closet apart and cleaned it out. I got rid of things. I organized what was there. I washed and dusted and cleaned. I keep a clean home now, but I don’t get quite that crazy anymore!
However, this makes me think of inner clutter as well as the external clutter of our lives. Is it time for you to let go of some things that are holding you back? Do you have so much old baggage that you can’t move forward with something you really want to do?
This is a good time to take the pulse of your life. Are you where you want to be? Is there something more you want to be or do? Make choices today that will get you where you want to be. Let go of attitudes, fears, old griefs and losses, things that shrink your world and your choices.
Clean inside and out
I have a good friend whose business is decluttering homes (or offices) and organizing them. She tells me that when she helps people clean out, toss and organize, her clients report that they feel lighter inside, too.
If a good spring cleaning helps you begin the process of inner decluttering, dive in. It just may be the start you need. And if you need help letting go and moving toward the good things you so yearn for, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
Happy spring!
However, this makes me think of inner clutter as well as the external clutter of our lives. Is it time for you to let go of some things that are holding you back? Do you have so much old baggage that you can’t move forward with something you really want to do?
This is a good time to take the pulse of your life. Are you where you want to be? Is there something more you want to be or do? Make choices today that will get you where you want to be. Let go of attitudes, fears, old griefs and losses, things that shrink your world and your choices.
Clean inside and out
I have a good friend whose business is decluttering homes (or offices) and organizing them. She tells me that when she helps people clean out, toss and organize, her clients report that they feel lighter inside, too.
If a good spring cleaning helps you begin the process of inner decluttering, dive in. It just may be the start you need. And if you need help letting go and moving toward the good things you so yearn for, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
Happy spring!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
A balancing act
If you know anything about finances, you’re aware that whatever ratio of stocks, bonds and cash you choose for your portfolio, you’ll need to continue monitoring it and making changes to maintain the balance you want.
Life is like that, too, isn’t it? If you long for balance in your life, you first need to determine how you really want your life to look. For what do you most yearn? Are you longing for more time with your loved ones? Do you desire more you-time, more time for self-care?
It helps to draw a circle and divide it into pie pieces that represent the various aspects of your life that take your time: career, family, social life, exercise, faith life, whatever other parts of life you wish to include. You might consider how much time each area now receives and how much time you’d like to give.
Once you make your choices and make the changes necessary to reach your goals, you’ll realize that tweaks are necessary from time to time as “life happens.” A situation will arise that will demand more time in one area or another. Just like a financial portfolio, your wheel of life will need rebalancing.
Take time today to make choices. Don’t let your life manage you. As best you can, manage your life by making conscious and intentional choices about how you spend your time and energy. Doesn’t it just energize you to even think about taking some control over your life that way?
What else needs attention so you can be the amazing woman you were meant to be? Go for it!
Life is like that, too, isn’t it? If you long for balance in your life, you first need to determine how you really want your life to look. For what do you most yearn? Are you longing for more time with your loved ones? Do you desire more you-time, more time for self-care?
It helps to draw a circle and divide it into pie pieces that represent the various aspects of your life that take your time: career, family, social life, exercise, faith life, whatever other parts of life you wish to include. You might consider how much time each area now receives and how much time you’d like to give.
Once you make your choices and make the changes necessary to reach your goals, you’ll realize that tweaks are necessary from time to time as “life happens.” A situation will arise that will demand more time in one area or another. Just like a financial portfolio, your wheel of life will need rebalancing.
Take time today to make choices. Don’t let your life manage you. As best you can, manage your life by making conscious and intentional choices about how you spend your time and energy. Doesn’t it just energize you to even think about taking some control over your life that way?
What else needs attention so you can be the amazing woman you were meant to be? Go for it!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Ready to fly?
A few months ago I rediscovered a book I had read and enjoyed years ago: Hope for the Flowers by Trina Paulus. As the author says, it’s a “tale of a caterpillar who has trouble becoming what he really is.”
Sound familiar? Do you ever have trouble accepting who you really are? Or doing what it takes to use the gifts you were given and become all you were meant to be?
Here’s one of my favorite parts in that book:
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.
“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
“You mean to die?” asked Yellow, remembering the three who fell out of the sky.
“Yes and No,” he answered. “What looks like you will die but what’s really you will still live. Life is changed, not taken away. Isn’t that different from those who die without ever becoming butterflies?”
Ready, set, go
So—are you at a point of change, feeling like a caterpillar who just might need some cocoon time before you transform into that beautiful butterfly you were meant to be? What dreams, yearnings, longings are as yet unfulfilled for you? What will it take to reach them?
Get ready to soar! Imagine your life as a butterfly. Your view is so much larger, so much more beautiful when you’re in the air than when you’re a caterpillar crawling along the ground.
Sign up for my three free gifts to see whether you are ready. And then let go. Let go of the old. Do the inner work to prepare for the new (cocoon time). Take whatever time you need to make the necessary changes. Then get ready to fly!
Sound familiar? Do you ever have trouble accepting who you really are? Or doing what it takes to use the gifts you were given and become all you were meant to be?
Here’s one of my favorite parts in that book:
“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.
“You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”
“You mean to die?” asked Yellow, remembering the three who fell out of the sky.
“Yes and No,” he answered. “What looks like you will die but what’s really you will still live. Life is changed, not taken away. Isn’t that different from those who die without ever becoming butterflies?”
Ready, set, go
So—are you at a point of change, feeling like a caterpillar who just might need some cocoon time before you transform into that beautiful butterfly you were meant to be? What dreams, yearnings, longings are as yet unfulfilled for you? What will it take to reach them?
Get ready to soar! Imagine your life as a butterfly. Your view is so much larger, so much more beautiful when you’re in the air than when you’re a caterpillar crawling along the ground.
Sign up for my three free gifts to see whether you are ready. And then let go. Let go of the old. Do the inner work to prepare for the new (cocoon time). Take whatever time you need to make the necessary changes. Then get ready to fly!
Friday, February 17, 2012
New exercise guidelines
I remember not so many years ago being told that we needed to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Any less than that really didn’t do much, we were told.
Now health gurus seem to have devised new “rules” for exercising, telling us that it’s important just to get moving. So, they say now, even 10 minutes a day will help you lose weight, maintain weight, stay healthy or whatever it is you are undertaking. It’s all about getting started! Something is better than nothing.
That’s good news, isn’t it? I do 30 minutes a day on the treadmill, 10 minutes or more of yoga stretches and several resistance band exercises. But on days when that doesn’t fit into my schedule for one reason or another, I don’t have to feel guilty. Or beat myself up.
Small steps add up
The same is true when you work on any of your life issues. Take, for example, wanting to create better balance in your life. Perhaps when you look at how out-of-control your life feels right now, the idea of better balance seems like a climb up Mount Everest to you! However, if you break that large goal into small, achievable steps, it isn’t so daunting. It feels more possible, more within reach, doesn’t it? You don’t climb a mountain in one large step. You don’t change habits and lifestyle that way either.
As you think about where you are now in life and where you’d like to be, make a goal. Then break that into bite-sized pieces. Dreams, longings and yearnings are possible and achievable then. If you would like help doing that, please contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary sample session. Or even just for a short conversation about your goals.
Now health gurus seem to have devised new “rules” for exercising, telling us that it’s important just to get moving. So, they say now, even 10 minutes a day will help you lose weight, maintain weight, stay healthy or whatever it is you are undertaking. It’s all about getting started! Something is better than nothing.
That’s good news, isn’t it? I do 30 minutes a day on the treadmill, 10 minutes or more of yoga stretches and several resistance band exercises. But on days when that doesn’t fit into my schedule for one reason or another, I don’t have to feel guilty. Or beat myself up.
Small steps add up
The same is true when you work on any of your life issues. Take, for example, wanting to create better balance in your life. Perhaps when you look at how out-of-control your life feels right now, the idea of better balance seems like a climb up Mount Everest to you! However, if you break that large goal into small, achievable steps, it isn’t so daunting. It feels more possible, more within reach, doesn’t it? You don’t climb a mountain in one large step. You don’t change habits and lifestyle that way either.
As you think about where you are now in life and where you’d like to be, make a goal. Then break that into bite-sized pieces. Dreams, longings and yearnings are possible and achievable then. If you would like help doing that, please contact me for an absolutely no-obligation, complimentary sample session. Or even just for a short conversation about your goals.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
The gifts of partnership
Ever find yourself telling someone else about your plans or goals because you know you’ll stick to them if someone else knows?
It’s called “accountability.” And it’s pretty powerful. I know that when I tell my fiancé or one of my friends that I’m starting an exercise program, I will be asked about it. Somehow it’s easier to wiggle out if I’ve only committed in my own mind!
It’s one of the benefits of a coaching relationship. I’ve had several clients tell me that being accountable to me helps keep them on track with what they want to do.
Reaching dreams: How energizing!
The real benefit of that benefit, of course, is that when you do stay on track, you reach the goals for which you’ve been working. You realize dreams. You achieve goals. Your yearnings become live and real. Just writing these words energizes me. Can’t you feel the energy when you imagine yourself setting goals and reaching them?
Picture the caterpillar that has just been transformed in the cocoon and is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly. Imagine that feeling—at long last—of soaring and being what it truly was meant to be.
You too can soar! You can be that butterfly, ready to reach new heights. Let me know today if you would like an exploratory conversation and a no-obligation, complimentary consultation.
If you’re ready for action, I will help you set and meet your goals. I will be your accountability partner. I will help you discover your next steps and best solutions. I will encourage and support you in your choices. Click on the Contact link and let’s move you toward your goals.
It’s called “accountability.” And it’s pretty powerful. I know that when I tell my fiancé or one of my friends that I’m starting an exercise program, I will be asked about it. Somehow it’s easier to wiggle out if I’ve only committed in my own mind!
It’s one of the benefits of a coaching relationship. I’ve had several clients tell me that being accountable to me helps keep them on track with what they want to do.
Reaching dreams: How energizing!
The real benefit of that benefit, of course, is that when you do stay on track, you reach the goals for which you’ve been working. You realize dreams. You achieve goals. Your yearnings become live and real. Just writing these words energizes me. Can’t you feel the energy when you imagine yourself setting goals and reaching them?
Picture the caterpillar that has just been transformed in the cocoon and is now emerging as a beautiful butterfly. Imagine that feeling—at long last—of soaring and being what it truly was meant to be.
You too can soar! You can be that butterfly, ready to reach new heights. Let me know today if you would like an exploratory conversation and a no-obligation, complimentary consultation.
If you’re ready for action, I will help you set and meet your goals. I will be your accountability partner. I will help you discover your next steps and best solutions. I will encourage and support you in your choices. Click on the Contact link and let’s move you toward your goals.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
"I am a possibility"
When my three sons were young, they sang a catchy song in vacation Bible school that went like this: “I am a promise, I am a possibility. I am a promise with a capital ‘P.’ I am a great big bundle of potentiality.”
For some reason the words and the tune came to mind the other day. I don’t know why. And that doesn’t matter.
What I love is that it made me think again of all the possibilities I have before me. Life is full of choices. True, we sometimes have to tend to the “shoulds” in life. There is much we have to do. But there are also many crossroads in life that offer us choices.
Are you doing what you really love to do? Are you fully the woman you want to be—the one you were meant to be? What are the desires and dreams yet unfulfilled? What deep longings and life questions are still out there for you? For what do you most yearn?
Are you doing what you love?
If you’re not doing what you love, why not? Is there one step you can take today that would bring you closer to becoming that “possibility” the song talks about?
Promise. Possibility. Potentiality. Don’t you love those words? Just saying them energizes me. Can you feel the juice as you say them? Let them draw images to your mind. Then make a promise to yourself to take at least one step this week to be the amazing woman you were meant to be. Make an action plan today to become that possibility!
If you haven’t already, I invite you to sign up for my weekly ezine and for my three free gifts: “10 Signs of Caterpillar Energy: I’m Ready for Change!,” “Cocoon Energy: Preparing for Transition,” and “Butterfly Energy: I Feel So Light and Beautiful.”
For some reason the words and the tune came to mind the other day. I don’t know why. And that doesn’t matter.
What I love is that it made me think again of all the possibilities I have before me. Life is full of choices. True, we sometimes have to tend to the “shoulds” in life. There is much we have to do. But there are also many crossroads in life that offer us choices.
Are you doing what you really love to do? Are you fully the woman you want to be—the one you were meant to be? What are the desires and dreams yet unfulfilled? What deep longings and life questions are still out there for you? For what do you most yearn?
Are you doing what you love?
If you’re not doing what you love, why not? Is there one step you can take today that would bring you closer to becoming that “possibility” the song talks about?
Promise. Possibility. Potentiality. Don’t you love those words? Just saying them energizes me. Can you feel the juice as you say them? Let them draw images to your mind. Then make a promise to yourself to take at least one step this week to be the amazing woman you were meant to be. Make an action plan today to become that possibility!
If you haven’t already, I invite you to sign up for my weekly ezine and for my three free gifts: “10 Signs of Caterpillar Energy: I’m Ready for Change!,” “Cocoon Energy: Preparing for Transition,” and “Butterfly Energy: I Feel So Light and Beautiful.”
Monday, January 23, 2012
What? Ask directions?
What’s on your mind now that you’re nearly one month into a new year? Do you have a hope or intention for this year—or a resolution or two? And how is that working out so far?
If you have a hope, a dream, an intention or resolutions—have you actually made a step-by-step plan to get there?
If not, why not take the time today to do this? When you plan a trip to a new place, you can’t get there without getting directions and making a plan. So it is with an intention.
I don’t need a plan
Men are often teased for not asking directions. In truth, however, many of us are guilty of not creating a plan to get where we want to go.
This is a great time to change that. The year is still new. You still have time to ask what needs to change so you can reach your heart’s desire. What is it you really want for 2012? What will it take to get there?
And how can you break that down into bite-sized and manageable pieces?
Maybe you still have some letting go to do before you can move forward. What do you no longer want? Write it down. What do you want now? Write it down. What one thing can you do to move closer to that goal? Write that down. As you think of more actions to get you to your hope, your dream or goal, add them to your list.
We all need inspiration from others. I invite you to share with us in the comment box what works (and doesn’t) for you.
I’m pulling for you! I’d love to see you attain that for which you most yearn this year!
If you have a hope, a dream, an intention or resolutions—have you actually made a step-by-step plan to get there?
If not, why not take the time today to do this? When you plan a trip to a new place, you can’t get there without getting directions and making a plan. So it is with an intention.
I don’t need a plan
Men are often teased for not asking directions. In truth, however, many of us are guilty of not creating a plan to get where we want to go.
This is a great time to change that. The year is still new. You still have time to ask what needs to change so you can reach your heart’s desire. What is it you really want for 2012? What will it take to get there?
And how can you break that down into bite-sized and manageable pieces?
Maybe you still have some letting go to do before you can move forward. What do you no longer want? Write it down. What do you want now? Write it down. What one thing can you do to move closer to that goal? Write that down. As you think of more actions to get you to your hope, your dream or goal, add them to your list.
We all need inspiration from others. I invite you to share with us in the comment box what works (and doesn’t) for you.
I’m pulling for you! I’d love to see you attain that for which you most yearn this year!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Is this all there is?
Have you ever wondered whether this is all there is? Is life more than the daily grind? Do you wonder whether you can actually feel intoxicated with life?
Even though my position as a magazine managing editor included many challenges and gave my life meaning, I still wondered whether there was something more for me. It wasn’t until I was Reduced-In-Force from that job that I really began to look at all the items I had written in my Dream Journal, which wasn’t about night dreams but about dreams of things I wanted to do some day.
What I discovered I’d written in that journal through the years led to my coaching career, and I realized that in so many other ways (as a mentor and a friend), I’d been coaching for much of my life. And I absolutely love doing it.
What’s your passion?
What do you love doing? What more would you love to have—or do—or be in your life?
You don’t need to do as I did: wait until you lose your job. Perhaps you can fulfill your passion in the job you already have. Perhaps that “something more” you desire in your life can be a hobby. Or as a volunteer for some organization about which you care deeply.
You might find joy in joining a yoga class or an exercise group. Or simply in creating more time for yourself—or more time with your partner or a friend. Maybe you want a primary relationship—or deeper relationships.
What more do you want for your life? And what stops you from having that?
Go get it. Just imagine how joyful and powerful you would feel if you created that life you so desire. You can, you know. Take one step today to move closer to the life you want. Want help? Sign up for a complimentary, absolutely no-obligation consultation today to see how you can let that inner butterfly soar!
Even though my position as a magazine managing editor included many challenges and gave my life meaning, I still wondered whether there was something more for me. It wasn’t until I was Reduced-In-Force from that job that I really began to look at all the items I had written in my Dream Journal, which wasn’t about night dreams but about dreams of things I wanted to do some day.
What I discovered I’d written in that journal through the years led to my coaching career, and I realized that in so many other ways (as a mentor and a friend), I’d been coaching for much of my life. And I absolutely love doing it.
What’s your passion?
What do you love doing? What more would you love to have—or do—or be in your life?
You don’t need to do as I did: wait until you lose your job. Perhaps you can fulfill your passion in the job you already have. Perhaps that “something more” you desire in your life can be a hobby. Or as a volunteer for some organization about which you care deeply.
You might find joy in joining a yoga class or an exercise group. Or simply in creating more time for yourself—or more time with your partner or a friend. Maybe you want a primary relationship—or deeper relationships.
What more do you want for your life? And what stops you from having that?
Go get it. Just imagine how joyful and powerful you would feel if you created that life you so desire. You can, you know. Take one step today to move closer to the life you want. Want help? Sign up for a complimentary, absolutely no-obligation consultation today to see how you can let that inner butterfly soar!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Letting go is tough to do
One of my favorite books—to which I return again and again—got to my bookshelf quite by accident.
I attended the annual conference of a religious journalists’ organization, registered, slapped on my nametag and grabbed the ubiquitous convention tote bag. Later in my hotel room I checked the contents and discovered a free book: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? by Linda Douty. Interesting title. But life was busy, so it went on my bookshelf. Until I needed it—and it called to me from my shelf one day! (Do you ever have that happen?)
I cannot tell you how many highlighted passages, underscored phrases and notations I’ve added to that book in the years since. It is a wonderfully practical book for letting go: letting go of hurts, of ways of thinking that no longer work, of grief that weighs us down, of roles and so many things.
What holds you back?
Think of what you most long for right now. What would you love to have in your life that isn’t there now? Then think of where you are right now in your life. Is there a gap?
What would it take to have that something for which you yearn—to be at that place you long to be? The chances are really great that one or several obstacles hold you back and keep you where you are. I know that’s often true in my life.
The chances are great, too, that some kind of letting-go process might be needed to move from here to there. Do you have restricting beliefs that hold you back? Or perhaps old hurts and resentments keep you stuck. Sometimes it’s even a person, a relationship you have that isn’t healthy. Maybe you need to let go of the way you act in that relationship—or perhaps you have to let go of the connection entirely.
Think about what letting go you may need to do. Decide what actions you’ll need to help it happen. Remember, it’s a process.
I invite you to share with us what has worked for you in the past. What letting-go experiences have you had, and how have they helped? Or is this a tough one for you?
I attended the annual conference of a religious journalists’ organization, registered, slapped on my nametag and grabbed the ubiquitous convention tote bag. Later in my hotel room I checked the contents and discovered a free book: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? by Linda Douty. Interesting title. But life was busy, so it went on my bookshelf. Until I needed it—and it called to me from my shelf one day! (Do you ever have that happen?)
I cannot tell you how many highlighted passages, underscored phrases and notations I’ve added to that book in the years since. It is a wonderfully practical book for letting go: letting go of hurts, of ways of thinking that no longer work, of grief that weighs us down, of roles and so many things.
What holds you back?
Think of what you most long for right now. What would you love to have in your life that isn’t there now? Then think of where you are right now in your life. Is there a gap?
What would it take to have that something for which you yearn—to be at that place you long to be? The chances are really great that one or several obstacles hold you back and keep you where you are. I know that’s often true in my life.
The chances are great, too, that some kind of letting-go process might be needed to move from here to there. Do you have restricting beliefs that hold you back? Or perhaps old hurts and resentments keep you stuck. Sometimes it’s even a person, a relationship you have that isn’t healthy. Maybe you need to let go of the way you act in that relationship—or perhaps you have to let go of the connection entirely.
Think about what letting go you may need to do. Decide what actions you’ll need to help it happen. Remember, it’s a process.
I invite you to share with us what has worked for you in the past. What letting-go experiences have you had, and how have they helped? Or is this a tough one for you?
Thursday, January 5, 2012
What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Have you come to a crossroad in your life? Perhaps you’ve had some changes—changed careers or jobs, lost a job, retired, married, divorced, had some health changes. You are wondering what to be when you grow up.
It doesn’t matter whether you are 30 or 70. Big life questions can emerge at any age. What are yours?
Perhaps you’re more aware of the time that remains. You want to make it count. You don’t want to spend any more time doing what’s expected of you, playing a role others set for you. Now it’s your time—time to be and do what you were meant to be and do.
Now what?
So what do you need to do for that to happen? How do you discover what you want?
You might keep a “Dreams Journal.” I have done that for years, and it really helped me be creative after I lost my job. I applied for several new jobs, but nothing came of those attempts. One day I remembered to check my Dreams Journal. I discovered things I’d forgotten I wrote … and it led to a new career and self-employment.
You see, the Dreams Journal isn’t about night dreams (though it could certainly include those that speak to what you might want to do). Instead, it’s all about things you enjoy, gifts others have seen in you, talents you’ve wanted to express but haven’t—things you dream of doing someday. It’s about passions you’ve noticed in yourself, yearnings you haven’t yet followed. Write these down so you won’t forget.
When the time is right, you’ll have lots of ideas from which to create new dreams when an old one dies. Or when you think it’s time to pursue new ones.
My father took up stained glass art in his 70s. And learned how to use a computer in his 80s. Why not?
Go for it. It’s never too late to start new things. By bringing your unique and special gifts into the world, you’ll feel deep joy and happiness. And you’ll bring more light into the lives of others—and the world. How much better does it get than that?
It doesn’t matter whether you are 30 or 70. Big life questions can emerge at any age. What are yours?
Perhaps you’re more aware of the time that remains. You want to make it count. You don’t want to spend any more time doing what’s expected of you, playing a role others set for you. Now it’s your time—time to be and do what you were meant to be and do.
Now what?
So what do you need to do for that to happen? How do you discover what you want?
You might keep a “Dreams Journal.” I have done that for years, and it really helped me be creative after I lost my job. I applied for several new jobs, but nothing came of those attempts. One day I remembered to check my Dreams Journal. I discovered things I’d forgotten I wrote … and it led to a new career and self-employment.
You see, the Dreams Journal isn’t about night dreams (though it could certainly include those that speak to what you might want to do). Instead, it’s all about things you enjoy, gifts others have seen in you, talents you’ve wanted to express but haven’t—things you dream of doing someday. It’s about passions you’ve noticed in yourself, yearnings you haven’t yet followed. Write these down so you won’t forget.
When the time is right, you’ll have lots of ideas from which to create new dreams when an old one dies. Or when you think it’s time to pursue new ones.
My father took up stained glass art in his 70s. And learned how to use a computer in his 80s. Why not?
Go for it. It’s never too late to start new things. By bringing your unique and special gifts into the world, you’ll feel deep joy and happiness. And you’ll bring more light into the lives of others—and the world. How much better does it get than that?
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