Last week one of my inspirational readings asked me to identify the biggest obstacle in my life at present—and asked from what it was keeping me. The reading invited me to see obstacles in a new way.
First of all, I was asked to question whether what I perceive as an obstacle really is an obstacle. And second, I was invited to not expend large amounts of energy fighting or struggling against the obstacle. Rather, a different option might be to step aside from the obstacle and see the larger picture of where I am in the stream of life, moving with it—going with the flow.
I have to think about that one. I think I get in my own way much of the time, perhaps more than that outside forces are my obstacles. My own pattern of being strong and wearing a Wonder Woman cape gets in the way of being vulnerable. Perhaps I can find a way to lay the cape down and simply see where I go by just relaxing into life's flow, if that makes any sense. Maybe I'm struggling too hard to get this vulnerability thing right!
What's your biggest obstacle? What are you doing about it? Is there a different way to think about it? I'd love to hear your ideas on this. I'm a work in progress. Maybe you are, too. And that's OK.
Showing posts with label obstacles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obstacles. Show all posts
Monday, December 7, 2015
Monday, December 8, 2014
All-encompassing gratitude
Last month when I spent Thanksgiving with my youngest son and his family, I was so aware of all my blessings. My heart was full, and I was grateful for so much.
As I counted my blessings, though, I was also aware of those painful and difficult times in my life. Those are the times I really grew. It seems I have learned far more from life's challenges than from life's good times and blessings. And so I gave thanks for those, too.
I don't know about you. But when I experienced the difficult times, whether it was my divorce or losing my job or some lesser challenge, I wasn't always thinking about gratitude and how much I'd learn! It's later when I reflected on what had changed in me because of those things that I was able to give thanks. My obstacles really became my teachers, giving me learnings I would not have had otherwise.
I have heard people who have survived cancer and other difficult health issues say that they are grateful for the illnesses because their lives have been totally changed for the better by the experiences. That always amazes me. And yet when I reflect on my own life, I know that my most difficult times have made me softer yet stronger, more compassionate and more understanding of others, and far more resilient. In short, I've become a far better Sonia because of those tough experiences. So I give thanks for those, too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
How about you?
As I counted my blessings, though, I was also aware of those painful and difficult times in my life. Those are the times I really grew. It seems I have learned far more from life's challenges than from life's good times and blessings. And so I gave thanks for those, too.
I don't know about you. But when I experienced the difficult times, whether it was my divorce or losing my job or some lesser challenge, I wasn't always thinking about gratitude and how much I'd learn! It's later when I reflected on what had changed in me because of those things that I was able to give thanks. My obstacles really became my teachers, giving me learnings I would not have had otherwise.
I have heard people who have survived cancer and other difficult health issues say that they are grateful for the illnesses because their lives have been totally changed for the better by the experiences. That always amazes me. And yet when I reflect on my own life, I know that my most difficult times have made me softer yet stronger, more compassionate and more understanding of others, and far more resilient. In short, I've become a far better Sonia because of those tough experiences. So I give thanks for those, too. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.
How about you?
Monday, November 3, 2014
Obstacles & opportunities
I've said before that how we see things determines how far we can go in life. It makes a huge difference in how much joy, serenity and peace we feel, too.
Educator and author Marsha Sinetar puts it this way, "Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones." It's true. All those obstacles and opportunities mold and shape us, determining goals and values.
"Windows of opportunity." What a good description for the ebb and flow of life. I've heard it said that we wouldn't know the beauty of mountains if we never spent time in the valleys.
Sometimes it's important to just keep our seat belts fastened for this roller-coaster ride we call life. We can't know what's ahead. And it's far easier for us if we are able to accept the ebb and flow rather than fighting obstacles and missing windows of opportunity.
What might change in your life if you saw obstacles as stepping stones? Might it have made a difference in some past event? Do you think it's possible to begin seeing them that way now? What one small step could you take to help you see a current obstacle as an opportunity?
Educator and author Marsha Sinetar puts it this way, "Life's ups and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones." It's true. All those obstacles and opportunities mold and shape us, determining goals and values.
"Windows of opportunity." What a good description for the ebb and flow of life. I've heard it said that we wouldn't know the beauty of mountains if we never spent time in the valleys.
Sometimes it's important to just keep our seat belts fastened for this roller-coaster ride we call life. We can't know what's ahead. And it's far easier for us if we are able to accept the ebb and flow rather than fighting obstacles and missing windows of opportunity.
What might change in your life if you saw obstacles as stepping stones? Might it have made a difference in some past event? Do you think it's possible to begin seeing them that way now? What one small step could you take to help you see a current obstacle as an opportunity?
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Nurture your creativity
I love a can-do attitude, and I am really inspired by out-of-the-box, creative thinking. Recently I read about a program in Kansas that provided a great example of both.
It seems that when rural businesses closed because of owners retiring, finding new buyers was increasingly difficult. Finding people who want to start businesses in rural areas was becoming an issue. So the University of Kansas came up with a creative solution called the Redefining Retirement program (or RedTire). The program pairs up owners of family-run or small businesses with buyers who are graduates of Kansas state universities. Part of the deal is that the current owner will stay on for a period of time to help the new buyer through a transition period.
The program includes help with the financial pieces of the business, too. And now the University of Kansas hopes to take the program nationwide.
Isn't that a creative solution to what was becoming a real problem for rural communities who need such services—and for prospective business owners who may not have the finances to do a start-up in a large community? It sounds win-win to me. Businesses can stay in a community, and perhaps new jobs might even be created. And entrepreneurs have a chance they might not have had otherwise to follow their dreams and passions. It's about removing obstacles and creating opportunities and possibilities.
To bring this home to you, think about what things in your life call out for solutions. Nurture your creative side and fill yourself up with whatever will spark even more ideas. Then start spinning out ideas—and do so without judging them. Be as out-of-the-box as you can and see what emerges.
It seems that when rural businesses closed because of owners retiring, finding new buyers was increasingly difficult. Finding people who want to start businesses in rural areas was becoming an issue. So the University of Kansas came up with a creative solution called the Redefining Retirement program (or RedTire). The program pairs up owners of family-run or small businesses with buyers who are graduates of Kansas state universities. Part of the deal is that the current owner will stay on for a period of time to help the new buyer through a transition period.
The program includes help with the financial pieces of the business, too. And now the University of Kansas hopes to take the program nationwide.
Isn't that a creative solution to what was becoming a real problem for rural communities who need such services—and for prospective business owners who may not have the finances to do a start-up in a large community? It sounds win-win to me. Businesses can stay in a community, and perhaps new jobs might even be created. And entrepreneurs have a chance they might not have had otherwise to follow their dreams and passions. It's about removing obstacles and creating opportunities and possibilities.
To bring this home to you, think about what things in your life call out for solutions. Nurture your creative side and fill yourself up with whatever will spark even more ideas. Then start spinning out ideas—and do so without judging them. Be as out-of-the-box as you can and see what emerges.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Have any emotional thorns?
Emotional thorns. Have you ever heard of them?
Writer Sue Patton Thoele in The Woman's Book of Confidence introduced me to the concept. She wrote:
"If we get a thorn in our finger, our natural response is to pull it out—to eliminate the source of pain. Yet how many of us allow emotional thorns to embed themselves in us without ever acknowledging that we have the right to pull them out? Emotional thorns run the gamut from a relationship that is detrimental to our self-esteem to regret or guilt over something we did or that was done to us. Left unattended, emotional thorns can fester and acutely infect our attitudes."
Ever had that happen? I have. It takes a while to recognize the thorn. And sometimes it's difficult to know just how to remove it. At times, the emotional thorn involves more than one simple issue; it can be several connected parts of our life. For example, you might experience workplace problems that also affect your close relationships—and, of course, affect your financial stability. So removing the thorn isn't so simple.
Do whatever you are able to do to eliminate the pain. Or reduce the effects of the obstacle. If all you can do is reframe the issue and change your attitude, that too constitutes thorn-removal.
Please contact me if you have an emotional thorn you want to remove, reduce or reframe. I would be happy to set up a complimentary, no-obligation strategy consultation with you.
Writer Sue Patton Thoele in The Woman's Book of Confidence introduced me to the concept. She wrote:
"If we get a thorn in our finger, our natural response is to pull it out—to eliminate the source of pain. Yet how many of us allow emotional thorns to embed themselves in us without ever acknowledging that we have the right to pull them out? Emotional thorns run the gamut from a relationship that is detrimental to our self-esteem to regret or guilt over something we did or that was done to us. Left unattended, emotional thorns can fester and acutely infect our attitudes."
Ever had that happen? I have. It takes a while to recognize the thorn. And sometimes it's difficult to know just how to remove it. At times, the emotional thorn involves more than one simple issue; it can be several connected parts of our life. For example, you might experience workplace problems that also affect your close relationships—and, of course, affect your financial stability. So removing the thorn isn't so simple.
Do whatever you are able to do to eliminate the pain. Or reduce the effects of the obstacle. If all you can do is reframe the issue and change your attitude, that too constitutes thorn-removal.
Please contact me if you have an emotional thorn you want to remove, reduce or reframe. I would be happy to set up a complimentary, no-obligation strategy consultation with you.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Letting go is tough to do
One of my favorite books—to which I return again and again—got to my bookshelf quite by accident.
I attended the annual conference of a religious journalists’ organization, registered, slapped on my nametag and grabbed the ubiquitous convention tote bag. Later in my hotel room I checked the contents and discovered a free book: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? by Linda Douty. Interesting title. But life was busy, so it went on my bookshelf. Until I needed it—and it called to me from my shelf one day! (Do you ever have that happen?)
I cannot tell you how many highlighted passages, underscored phrases and notations I’ve added to that book in the years since. It is a wonderfully practical book for letting go: letting go of hurts, of ways of thinking that no longer work, of grief that weighs us down, of roles and so many things.
What holds you back?
Think of what you most long for right now. What would you love to have in your life that isn’t there now? Then think of where you are right now in your life. Is there a gap?
What would it take to have that something for which you yearn—to be at that place you long to be? The chances are really great that one or several obstacles hold you back and keep you where you are. I know that’s often true in my life.
The chances are great, too, that some kind of letting-go process might be needed to move from here to there. Do you have restricting beliefs that hold you back? Or perhaps old hurts and resentments keep you stuck. Sometimes it’s even a person, a relationship you have that isn’t healthy. Maybe you need to let go of the way you act in that relationship—or perhaps you have to let go of the connection entirely.
Think about what letting go you may need to do. Decide what actions you’ll need to help it happen. Remember, it’s a process.
I invite you to share with us what has worked for you in the past. What letting-go experiences have you had, and how have they helped? Or is this a tough one for you?
I attended the annual conference of a religious journalists’ organization, registered, slapped on my nametag and grabbed the ubiquitous convention tote bag. Later in my hotel room I checked the contents and discovered a free book: How Can I Let Go If I Don’t Know I’m Holding On? by Linda Douty. Interesting title. But life was busy, so it went on my bookshelf. Until I needed it—and it called to me from my shelf one day! (Do you ever have that happen?)
I cannot tell you how many highlighted passages, underscored phrases and notations I’ve added to that book in the years since. It is a wonderfully practical book for letting go: letting go of hurts, of ways of thinking that no longer work, of grief that weighs us down, of roles and so many things.
What holds you back?
Think of what you most long for right now. What would you love to have in your life that isn’t there now? Then think of where you are right now in your life. Is there a gap?
What would it take to have that something for which you yearn—to be at that place you long to be? The chances are really great that one or several obstacles hold you back and keep you where you are. I know that’s often true in my life.
The chances are great, too, that some kind of letting-go process might be needed to move from here to there. Do you have restricting beliefs that hold you back? Or perhaps old hurts and resentments keep you stuck. Sometimes it’s even a person, a relationship you have that isn’t healthy. Maybe you need to let go of the way you act in that relationship—or perhaps you have to let go of the connection entirely.
Think about what letting go you may need to do. Decide what actions you’ll need to help it happen. Remember, it’s a process.
I invite you to share with us what has worked for you in the past. What letting-go experiences have you had, and how have they helped? Or is this a tough one for you?
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