Last month two of my dear friends died unexpectedly. It's a poignant reminder to me that each day is gift—and that those who grace my life are also gifts. It reminds me that I should say "I love you" whenever I have the opportunity and that I should savor my moments and days.
I already miss Carol and Sandra and know that as time passes, I will miss them even more. The grief is fresh now so it doesn't yet seem quite real that I'll never see them again. Yet at the same time, I'm extremely grateful for the legacy each of these women leaves behind. I'm so thankful they were part of my life. I have learned much from both of them, and I have wonderful memories of times spent in their company.
Whose legacy makes a difference in your life today? For whom are you grateful in your life right now? Have you told them that?
It's easy to get caught up in to-do lists and the "shoulds" of life and neglect time with the people in our lives, whether that be family or friends. In the end, it really won't matter that all our tasks got checked off some to-do list and our house was kept spotlessly clean. What will matter is how we tended the relationships with which we were blessed. I've always said that I seriously doubt on my deathbed that I'll regret that I didn't do more work. I'm pretty sure any regrets I do have at that point (and I hope to limit those as much as possible!) will be more about not giving enough time and attention to those people I love and treasure.
I want to be present to those who grace my life and to those whose path crosses mine. I want to savor my days and make the most of whatever time yet remains to me. I don't want to spend my time on those things that really don't reflect my true values—and what I value so deeply are my connections with others.
What about you? Are you living your values? Are you savoring your moments?
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Showing posts with label values. Show all posts
Friday, August 3, 2018
Friday, November 10, 2017
Facing life's intersections
I have so many friends right now who are facing momentous changes: job losses, new jobs following job loss, family members dying, deteriorating health for self or a loved one, other changes in health status, adjusting to a new living situation and more.
Changes such as those always seem to lead to questions about what we can handle, who we are, where we've been and where we're going. Such changes also lead us to re-evaluate our values. What's important to us? Are we spending time on what's most important to us? Or are we spending it on things that are less important—and waiting until "we get around to it" for the big things in life?
When we come to those intersections in our lives, whatever leads us to those points, it's a good time to stop and reflect on any and all of these questions—and more. It's not too late to tweak a bit or even change course so we better live out of our values.
Even if you're not facing any big life change, it might still be a good time to stop and reflect on where you've been, where you're going and what's consuming most of your time and energy these days. See if this is where you want to be. If not, make some different choices. You get to decide!
Changes such as those always seem to lead to questions about what we can handle, who we are, where we've been and where we're going. Such changes also lead us to re-evaluate our values. What's important to us? Are we spending time on what's most important to us? Or are we spending it on things that are less important—and waiting until "we get around to it" for the big things in life?
When we come to those intersections in our lives, whatever leads us to those points, it's a good time to stop and reflect on any and all of these questions—and more. It's not too late to tweak a bit or even change course so we better live out of our values.
Even if you're not facing any big life change, it might still be a good time to stop and reflect on where you've been, where you're going and what's consuming most of your time and energy these days. See if this is where you want to be. If not, make some different choices. You get to decide!
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Values and energy
I've had a lot going on in my life in the past several weeks—and it's not nearly over yet. However, I've been thinking that when I get through the experience that's been consuming my time and energy, I'd like to take time to re-evaluate my priorities again.
Every now and again, it's a good idea to look at how we're spending our time and energy. Are the things you say are your top priorities really those areas where your time is spent? Am I putting my highest level of energy into those things that best represent my values? We can all afford to ask such questions of ourselves from time to time.
Who am I now? What's important to me now? If I only had six months left, how would I spend that time?
I don't know how you feel. But I am of the mind that none of those questions is a once-and-done deal. Our priorities can change as we move through life. They can change depending on what experiences we've had that have deeply affected us. Further, we sometimes do what's placed in front of us without regard to what we truly hold dear. The things we value most can sometimes take a back seat to what others think is urgent and put on our plates. We might be reactive rather than proactive.
So stop a while. Take some time to examine your life, your values, and how your time and energy are spent. If you're happy with that, wonderful. If not, it's time for tweaking—or even for substantial change.
Every now and again, it's a good idea to look at how we're spending our time and energy. Are the things you say are your top priorities really those areas where your time is spent? Am I putting my highest level of energy into those things that best represent my values? We can all afford to ask such questions of ourselves from time to time.
Who am I now? What's important to me now? If I only had six months left, how would I spend that time?
I don't know how you feel. But I am of the mind that none of those questions is a once-and-done deal. Our priorities can change as we move through life. They can change depending on what experiences we've had that have deeply affected us. Further, we sometimes do what's placed in front of us without regard to what we truly hold dear. The things we value most can sometimes take a back seat to what others think is urgent and put on our plates. We might be reactive rather than proactive.
So stop a while. Take some time to examine your life, your values, and how your time and energy are spent. If you're happy with that, wonderful. If not, it's time for tweaking—or even for substantial change.
Monday, November 21, 2016
We have choices to make
In these days following the presidential election, I'm thinking about the choices each of us makes about how to respond. I've been thinking a great deal about what I will do to lift up the values I hold dear. What action will I take? What cause or causes shall I embrace? To what shall I commit?
I'm reminded of a quote from existential psychologist and author Rollo May: "A man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day to day. These decisions require courage."
These days as we sift through the debris left after months of angry rhetoric leading up to the election and that which is now accumulating because of multiple incidents of discrimination and hate crimes, we do well to think about the choices we make. To what shall we commit?
Let's take our time and think deeply about this. Who shall we be? What shall this country be?
I'm reminded of a quote from existential psychologist and author Rollo May: "A man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day to day. These decisions require courage."
These days as we sift through the debris left after months of angry rhetoric leading up to the election and that which is now accumulating because of multiple incidents of discrimination and hate crimes, we do well to think about the choices we make. To what shall we commit?
Let's take our time and think deeply about this. Who shall we be? What shall this country be?
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
The choices we make
I'm part of a women's group that will meet tonight. The hostess asked each of us to come with a list of our five favorites in three categories: books, movies and TV shows.
Oh, my—only five in each? That is really difficult. I could easily name at least 50 books, perhaps more. And lots of movies, too. Perhaps fewer TV series or shows, although I might surprise myself. I'm still finalizing and tweaking my list.
I have no idea how we'll use this information when we gather tonight. But I have no doubt that we'll have a fascinating discussion with some deep meaning once we discuss what it is that makes these choices rise to the top of our lists.
I'd love to hear what choices you would make. Such decisions say a lot about what we value and what we enjoy. What do you think?
Oh, my—only five in each? That is really difficult. I could easily name at least 50 books, perhaps more. And lots of movies, too. Perhaps fewer TV series or shows, although I might surprise myself. I'm still finalizing and tweaking my list.
I have no idea how we'll use this information when we gather tonight. But I have no doubt that we'll have a fascinating discussion with some deep meaning once we discuss what it is that makes these choices rise to the top of our lists.
I'd love to hear what choices you would make. Such decisions say a lot about what we value and what we enjoy. What do you think?
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
How do you want to be seen?
Recently I saw this question asked, and I've been thinking a lot about it ever since: What three words would you like people to use to describe you when you're not in the room?
Hmmm. The field is wide open. And we can choose only three out of all the wonderful adjectives we could think of to describe ourselves!
What do you think? Which words would you choose?
And here's a larger question, I think: Are you living your life in such a way that those would be the words people would choose? If not, what changes do you wish (or need) to make? What has to change?
This also gets at the real question underlying those questions: Are you living in a way that is congruent with your inner values and who you feel yourself created to be? Can you look in the mirror and like what you see? Are you who you want to be? (And know that doesn't mean we're perfect every minute of every day. We are human, after all.)
Interesting questions, right? And they're worth our reflection, I think.
Hmmm. The field is wide open. And we can choose only three out of all the wonderful adjectives we could think of to describe ourselves!
What do you think? Which words would you choose?
And here's a larger question, I think: Are you living your life in such a way that those would be the words people would choose? If not, what changes do you wish (or need) to make? What has to change?
This also gets at the real question underlying those questions: Are you living in a way that is congruent with your inner values and who you feel yourself created to be? Can you look in the mirror and like what you see? Are you who you want to be? (And know that doesn't mean we're perfect every minute of every day. We are human, after all.)
Interesting questions, right? And they're worth our reflection, I think.
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