Monday, March 3, 2014

Be kind to yourself

Ever beat up on yourself? Give yourself negative internal messages? Say things to yourself you wouldn't dream of saying to a dear friend?

Yes, most of us have done that at one time or another. Some of us more than one time or another. I used to do quite a bit of that. And then I got into a program after my divorce that helped women really move on with their lives post-divorce. One of the things that program addressed was the type of internal messages we gave ourselves. We were each encouraged to find a way to pay attention to what we said to ourselves if we goofed up or did something poorly.

My method was to envision a stop sign going up inside my head every time I said something unkind to myself. That worked for me. I've had others say the stop-sign idea doesn't work for them. That's fine. Just find whatever works for you. Do whatever helps you to really notice those times when you treat yourself badly and say unkind things to yourself.

Obviously, the next step is to stop doing and saying those things. And further, to replace those messages with affirming and loving ones. Treat yourself as you would your best friend. After all, you are the one person with whom you'll spend the most time throughout your lifetime. So it's essential that you become your own friend. And make your self-talk something you would say to a friend.

If you don't do so already, make today the day you start being kind to yourself. Self-care and self-love are good things. The joy and happiness that brings you will ripple out into the world. Isn't that the kind of imprint you want to leave?

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