Begin with a thankful heart

How do you begin your day? Do you wake up and think (or say), "Oh, darn, I have so much to do today! How will I ever get it all done? I wish I could just skip to the end of this day."

Or do you awaken, grateful that you made it through the night and now have a brand new day ahead of you? Are you thankful for the ability to do the things you need to do?

Do you face the day with grumbling—or with gratitude?

You may think it doesn't make a difference. Why should it matter? But just experiment a little. Try it both ways and just see how your day goes.

Personally, I find my days much better when I start them with an attitude of gratitude. It doesn't necessarily change what happens in a day. I still have the same to-do list. I still have the same list of events on the calendar. But what it changes is me. A spirit of thankfulness changes how I see the events of the day. It changes how I view my tasks.

Rather than grumble because I have to clean the house today (a job I really don't enjoy), I try to switch my attitude to one of gratitude that I have a house in which to live and that I'm physically able to clean it. I'm human; so, of course, I still grumble more than I should. But I really am trying to live more in an attitude of thankfulness.

Celebrate—early and often!

American operatic tenor Robert Brault has gifted us with many memorable quotes, one of which is: "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things."

We can be so busy chasing the Big Dream that we don't even stop to notice the dozens of small miracles and moments that might take our breath away along the way. Let's remind one another to wake up and stay attentive and aware. For it's just as Brault said, we may realize that what we thought were simply little things really were the big things. They just might be the whole point!

Brault has also said, "There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate." I love that one, too. Again, those small things we sometimes so easily overlook can be cause for celebration. Don't wait to light the candles, cut the flowers for the vase and pull out the best dishes for only birthdays or anniversaries. Celebrate the sunshine! Celebrate a friend's visit. Pull out all the stops and find lots of reasons to celebrate. Those little things ARE the big things and should be celebrated!

We can do more than we think

Have you ever thought or said, "I'm just one person. I can't really do anything about that problem." Yup, me too.

So here's a good quote to remember when you feel that way:

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I can't do interfere with what I can do."

Isn't that a lovely positive spin to the idea of just being one? Those words were penned by U.S. author and Unitarian clergy Edward Everett Hale. They are as apt today as they were when he wrote them in 1902.

In fact, I think these words would make a great wall hanging as a reminder to do what I can. If like me, you are trying to stay as positive as you can in the face of what seems to be an oppressive atmosphere of negativity these days, at the very least, these words might merit a Post-it note on our mirrors!

The eyes of another

I've been thinking a good deal these days about how to counteract the increasing sense of tribalism in our country and culture. It is all too easy to fall into it ourselves since we're so surrounded by such attitudes daily. It's too easy to hang out with those who think and feel as we do and to not listen to those who differ. It's easy to disregard viewpoints and people who don't agree with us. But that doesn't make us stronger and healthier. It doesn't make us better people, and it most definitely doesn't move this country forward.

I just read something that Henry David Thoreau said, and it really resonated: "Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each others' eyes for an instant?"

A miracle, he calls it! Yes, that really is a miracle. If I stop and look through the eyes of the other and see the world from that perspective, I will have a deeper understanding, not only of that person but undoubtedly also of myself—and perhaps of the entire universe. It's all in my attitude—and can make such a difference. I need to listen to those who differ from me.

I'm often struck by the term "Namaste" we say at the end of every yoga class I take. It's a beautiful and meaningful word. It means something like "the divine in me acknowledges the divine in you."

What if we approached everyone we met with such an attitude? What if we acknowledged the good in each person rather than approaching others with suspicion or even hatred? What if we took time to see the world through their eyes—even for just an instant, as Thoreau suggested?

Share the good news

I just read a post on Facebook by a woman who said she'd gone to a local grocery store for a few items. When she got to the checkout, the cashier told her, "Your money isn't any good here today." My friend thought, "What?!" Then the cashier told her that the person in line ahead of her had paid extra for those following behind. It just made my friend's day!

Well, guess what? It made my day, too. It's sometimes easy for me to get caught up by the negative news—school shootings, deadlock in Washington, wars and murder in so many parts of the globe, etc. And although I want to be aware of world and domestic events, I also want to stay positive. So reading about a random act of kindness really made my day. It's so easy to forget about the good people in the world and think the world is populated with evil, nasty folks.

Somehow, I need to maintain perspective and balance. I want to do what I can to help bring justice and peace into the world. At the same time, I don't want to get bogged down in all the negativity and pain. Most days, this can be a real challenge!

My friend's post reminded me to share good news when I hear or experience it. The good things that happen to us boost our attitudes. And when we share those stories, others receive a positive boost too.

An attitude of gratitude

Last Sunday our pastor threw out a challenge to us as she talked about the place of gratitude in our lives. She has committed to writing and mailing a thank-you note to someone each day for 30 days—and she invited us to do the same. Not email. Not voicemail. But a hand-written note by snail mail.

I haven't yet picked up on the challenge even though I often send thank-you cards to people who do special things for me. This seemed like an especially full week of commitments, so I didn't add that to my to-do list.

However, it's something I'd like to try. If developing an "attitude of gratitude" can change how we see the world around us, it definitely is a worthy cause. These days there are so many bad-news stories coming out of Washington, D.C. and across the globe. It's tough to stay serene and calm. I find it difficult to find the balance between being an engaged global citizen and maintaining a serene, peaceful and grateful existence.

Our pastor cited a man who actually committed to one year—yes, 365 days!—of sending thank-you notes to people who had said or done something good. And he did it. That's a tall order. But the man discovered how much difference that made to his life and his attitude.

What do you think? Is it worth a try to commit to even 30 days?

A life of gratitude

How do you begin and end your day? Do you wake up thinking, "Oh, no, I'm not ready to get up" or "Nuts, I didn't sleep well last night"? Or do you wake up with gratitude—thankful that you did wake up, thankful that you have a bed in which to sleep and a roof over your head?

And at night, do you let yourself unwind a bit, perhaps with a good book or some restful music so you can go to sleep with pleasant thoughts filling your mind? Do you mentally run through your day and give thanks for all the good things in it just before you drop off to sleep?

Such things can make such a difference, a difference in how you live your day and a difference in how you sleep. A life of gratitude changes everything. It's all in your attitude.

I've noticed that some of the hurricane victims interviewed on TV lately have expressed their joy and thankfulness to be alive—even while they're standing in front of the remains of what once was their home. It always amazes me. So many of them have said of their homes and belongings, "It's all just stuff. It can be replaced. Our families can't be, and we're still alive."

How true. They are a reminder and an inspiration to all of us to look at what we do have, not at what we don't have ... and then live a life of gratitude.

Life in a both/and world

There is so much to be said about life in a both/and world rather than an either/or world. But most of us have learned to live in an either/or world. So we need to undo that if we wish to see and experience life differently.

In their book Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman's Body & Soul, Marion Woodman and Jill Mellick remind us of this:

"Most of us have grown up in a culture that divides things into two piles, into dualities: spirit or matter, feminine or masculine, alive or dead, male or female, adult or child, good or bad, light or dark, joyful or painful. We believe things cannot belong in both piles.

"In other cultures, this assumption is not experienced as true. ... What if we were to consider the possibility that things are light and dark, good and bad, joyful and painful, spirit and matter? We might learn to entertain the notion of paradox.... In so doing, we shall be more able to experience the richness of life, the truth of its beautiful complexity."

If we stop and reflect with any honesty and depth at all, we know the truth of this. Many of our life experiences contain joy and pain. Much of life really is both good and bad. Again, it's all about our attitudes and how we choose to see things.

It's never too late to make changes!

Of passion and joy

Last Sunday our pastor preached a sermon using themes from the movie LaLa Land. One of the things he said was, "Don't follow your passion. Take your passion with you" in whatever you do and wherever you go. He added, "And find your joy wherever you are."

It may be a matter of semantics, I'm not sure. I've often spoken and written about following our passion, meaning that when we do what we love, generally we really throw ourselves into it and are successful and joyful.

That said, I do see what he was saying. Sometimes we are called to things that may not be our first choice—and still, we can bring our passion along with us. Life circumstances may change what we do or how we spend our days, either temporarily or permanently. That doesn't need to mean we cannot find passion and joy there. It doesn't mean we need to slide into passivity and resign ourselves to a miserable, unhappy life.

It's all about attitude and choice. Choose to bring your passion with you. Choose to find joy wherever you are.

Aging & possibilities

How do you see the aging process? Retirement? Are you looking at those things through the eyes of discontinuity, of endings? Yes, they contain endings. And it's important to take stock of those, grieve if you feel the loss of those endings. And then you'll be free to see possibilities.

Yes, possibilities. So much can yet lie ahead. So many choices. What really excites you? Makes you get out of bed in the morning? Or haven't you felt that in several years? Perhaps you've had or still have a job that doesn't energize you. What would change how you feel about it? A job change? An attitude change? Or is retirement possible?

Just know you have choices. You always have a choice about things—if not about what you do, then about how you see what you do.

It's always so energizing to think of possibilities.

If you are heading into retirement—or even thinking about that—see the potential of it. You'll get to create new routines, try new activities, perhaps even find some new friends to add to your current circle, develop talents within you that never have had a chance for expression. And perhaps you'll find your way into a new comfort with life, with yourself and with others. These years can be rich and full. They truly can be the best years of your life. So much depends on what happens between your ears! Check out your attitude and see whether a change is needed.

Aging & attitude

Last Friday we discussed the quote from the movie Shawshank Redemption on whether to get busy living or busy dying. In the last couple days, I went back to a book I really love about aging well. Written by Joan Chittister, it's called The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully.

Underscoring what the movie line said, Chittister writes, "It is unnecessary to consider ourselves useless—unless we choose to be useless. It is unnecessary to think of ourselves as diminished—unless we allow ourselves to diminish in heart and mind.

"The point is that there are two approaches to aging: passive aging and active aging. Passive aging gives way to the creeping paralysis of the soul that goes with the natural changes of the body. ... Active aging cooperates with the physical effects of age by adjusting to a change of pace. ... Active aging requires us to go on living life to the full no matter how differently."

Again, we have a choice. We can get busy living or get busy dying. Our attitude toward aging makes all the difference.

Goodbye, hello!

How are you feeling about another year coming to a close? And about ushering a brand new one? Now is a good time in which to reflect on what both the "goodbye" and the "hello" mean to you.

I recently read that, in addition to any personal trauma we may have experienced in a given year, we must add to that the collective trauma of bad news we've all absorbed throughout a year—the mass killings, terrorist attacks, deaths of beloved public figures, political fights, wars and rumors of war, etc. When we do that, we'll come closer to knowing the depth of any psychic blows we've sustained. And then we can decide what to do about them. At least we won't be in denial about what we're feeling.

It's also extremely important that we do everything we can to find things that keep us hopeful. Let's call forth our better angels. Let's carry the light for ourselves and each other—for the country and the globe—in ways both large and small. We aren't helpless. We don't have to swing in the wind or dangle helplessly over the canyon. Take charge of what we can—our attitudes and our behavior. Then perhaps we'll be more ready to transition into the new year.

Goals & perspective

As we approach the end to another year, it's natural to begin thinking of what the new year will bring. What goals will you set? What new directions might be coming for you? Or will you stay the course? Where are you headed? What will that mean for who you are?

While goals are important, who we are becoming is even more important. How have we grown and changed in this past year? Have we become more of who we were meant to be? Are we increasingly comfortable in our own skin? Do we like—or even love—that person we're becoming?

I'm reminded of a quote from Henry David Thoreau: "What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals."

Are your goals success oriented? Or are they about who and what you're becoming? This is a good time to take stock—and be ready to walk into the new year with a healthy attitude and an appreciation for who and what you are.

Gratitude—every day

Today in the U.S. we celebrate Thanksgiving Day. Whether you spend it with family, with friends, with a community group or alone, it's a good time to reflect on the gratitude you feel for your life and blessings. And while it's good to use today for gratitude, I invite you—and all of us—to make gratitude a part of everyday life. It truly can change our outlook.

I try to tend to the practice each day. But there are many days when I start out running as fast as I can—and never take the time to reflect. And, really, it doesn't take long. But I simply lose sight of it some days. Even spending two minutes each morning thinking about gifts and blessings—perhaps even just listing three to five of them—can change our attitude for the day.

Before we go to sleep at night is another good time to think of five of the day's blessings or happy moments. It will make sleep come more easily.

What's on your list today?