I sense a good deal of discouragement these days as the country experiences moves toward isolationism, discrimination and bigotry. I am trying mightily to resist discouragement, tempting as it is.
Our task is to keep bringing the light, showing compassion, showing up, standing up and speaking up. Albert Einstein's words are relevant here:
"A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'the universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
Yes, let's widen our circles of understanding and compassion. Let's keep reaching out—even to those who are most difficult to reach. I want us to keep encouraging each other and start a ripple effect that reaches ever further and further.
Showing posts with label encourage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encourage. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Monday, October 24, 2016
Mentoring—mutual encouragement
I've been asked to serve as a mentor to one of my congregation's confirmation students. I did that a few years ago and felt so privileged to do so. I always see mentoring as a two-way street, and it never fails that I learn as much as the person I'm mentoring—perhaps even more. So I really look forward to this experience once again.
You do not have to be asked officially by someone else to serve as a mentor. So many opportunities exist these days. I have nine grandchildren, too. So right there I have nine opportunities for mentoring. Perhaps you have grandchildren? Or you have neighbors? Or children of friends? Or just someone that you'd love to take under your wing, encourage and support in whatever ways you think are important. The work place is another good place to consider mentoring relationships.
And it isn't only young people who need mentoring. People of all ages can use some support, encouragement, a loving and caring presence and more. It really does take a village to raise us all.
What are some ways that you can be there for others around you? Do you know someone who could benefit from your presence? Someone to whom you can pass on your values, your knowledge, your legacy?
It's a mutually beneficial relationship. You will both end up encouraged and supported. Look around you today and see who could use a helping hand.
You do not have to be asked officially by someone else to serve as a mentor. So many opportunities exist these days. I have nine grandchildren, too. So right there I have nine opportunities for mentoring. Perhaps you have grandchildren? Or you have neighbors? Or children of friends? Or just someone that you'd love to take under your wing, encourage and support in whatever ways you think are important. The work place is another good place to consider mentoring relationships.
And it isn't only young people who need mentoring. People of all ages can use some support, encouragement, a loving and caring presence and more. It really does take a village to raise us all.
What are some ways that you can be there for others around you? Do you know someone who could benefit from your presence? Someone to whom you can pass on your values, your knowledge, your legacy?
It's a mutually beneficial relationship. You will both end up encouraged and supported. Look around you today and see who could use a helping hand.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
No gender limits
Whether you're a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or simply a friend of young children, you have an opportunity to help them follow their dreams. You can be an encourager of children and their dreams, and you can help them to understand that gender does not have to limit their dreams or expectations. Encourage them to be whatever they want to be when they grow up.
An experiment in the United Kingdom asked children in a classroom to draw pictures of people at work in specific occupations: One was a firefighter. One was a surgeon. And one was a fighter pilot. Not surprisingly, of the 66 children's drawings, 61 of them showed pictures of males in each of those jobs. Only 5 of the pictures were of women in those jobs.
Then to the surprise of the children, the teacher welcomed into the classroom three people who did such jobs. Each of the workers was a woman. The children were then encouraged to ask questions and try on the helmets, stethoscope, etc., of the female workers. This was meant to help shatter the stereotypes and encourage the children.
Researchers say that gender stereotypes set in by the time children are ages 5 to 7. So it's not too early to help children understand that they can pursue their dreams, no matter what they wish to be. It's important to not limit their views and their aspirations. Find a child to encourage today!
An experiment in the United Kingdom asked children in a classroom to draw pictures of people at work in specific occupations: One was a firefighter. One was a surgeon. And one was a fighter pilot. Not surprisingly, of the 66 children's drawings, 61 of them showed pictures of males in each of those jobs. Only 5 of the pictures were of women in those jobs.
Then to the surprise of the children, the teacher welcomed into the classroom three people who did such jobs. Each of the workers was a woman. The children were then encouraged to ask questions and try on the helmets, stethoscope, etc., of the female workers. This was meant to help shatter the stereotypes and encourage the children.
Researchers say that gender stereotypes set in by the time children are ages 5 to 7. So it's not too early to help children understand that they can pursue their dreams, no matter what they wish to be. It's important to not limit their views and their aspirations. Find a child to encourage today!
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Speak your appreciation
For some reason lately I've thought a lot about how we as women support and encourage one another—or not. Certainly, we see plenty of examples daily or weekly of women cutting one another down, being critical and judgmental. At our best, however, we know how to build up, encourage and support one another. We know how to speak our gratitude and encouragement, but do we take the time?
So when I read this in one of last week's daily readings in Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have, I took notice:
"Meditate on what these statements mean to you, and then speak them to a loved one:
• "I appreciate you and your heart.
• "I want the channel of heart to be wide open between us.
• "I make a promise to you that if misunderstandings or conflicts should grow between us, I will share them with you directly and not let them build or grow in a hidden way.
• "I would count the same promise from you as a blessing."
I imagined how much my relationships and friendships might deepen if I spoke such words to those I love and care about. I often think about how much I appreciate someone. But do I stop and take the time to tell them? Do I speak the words? Thinking them is a great start—but I need to take that next step and speak the words.
So when I read this in one of last week's daily readings in Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have, I took notice:
"Meditate on what these statements mean to you, and then speak them to a loved one:
• "I appreciate you and your heart.
• "I want the channel of heart to be wide open between us.
• "I make a promise to you that if misunderstandings or conflicts should grow between us, I will share them with you directly and not let them build or grow in a hidden way.
• "I would count the same promise from you as a blessing."
I imagined how much my relationships and friendships might deepen if I spoke such words to those I love and care about. I often think about how much I appreciate someone. But do I stop and take the time to tell them? Do I speak the words? Thinking them is a great start—but I need to take that next step and speak the words.
Monday, April 27, 2015
You decide
Are you often tempted to give advice to others or to persuade them to make choices that you think are good for them? It's just way too easy, and tempting, to tell others what they should do, isn't it? It's often far more clear to us what others should do than what path we should take!
But it's a shaky business, sometimes even dangerous—to mess in the lives of others, even those you love dearly. Mind you, that's different if we're talking about your children.
The other day someone quoted writer Marilyn Ferguson in words that really resonated with me and stood as a warning to me, too, to let others follow their own paths. Here's her quote: "Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be unlocked from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal." Definitely.
Even in my coaching, I'm more likely to help you discover your own wisdom and come to your own conclusions. I try to ask questions that will help you get beneath the issue and perhaps see things in a new way. Sometimes I turn your ideas upside down just so you can try on new views and new ideas and find more clarity within yourself. It helps to think of the problem in a new way sometimes. You are the one who can open your own gate, who must live with the consequences of whatever decision you make.
I've heard this sentiment put in other words, too. For example, one woman told a group I was in, "We do best to keep our dipper out of the buckets of others." Of course, this doesn't mean we don't listen when loved ones need to discuss a decision. It doesn't mean we don't share what worked for us—though what works for me doesn't necessarily work for you. If asked by a friend, "What would you do if this were your decision?" we surely can respond. But we do well to always make clear that this is simply our opinion. We help best when we listen and encourage—encourage others to dig deeply inside and seek their own best wisdom.
But it's a shaky business, sometimes even dangerous—to mess in the lives of others, even those you love dearly. Mind you, that's different if we're talking about your children.
The other day someone quoted writer Marilyn Ferguson in words that really resonated with me and stood as a warning to me, too, to let others follow their own paths. Here's her quote: "Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be unlocked from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal." Definitely.
Even in my coaching, I'm more likely to help you discover your own wisdom and come to your own conclusions. I try to ask questions that will help you get beneath the issue and perhaps see things in a new way. Sometimes I turn your ideas upside down just so you can try on new views and new ideas and find more clarity within yourself. It helps to think of the problem in a new way sometimes. You are the one who can open your own gate, who must live with the consequences of whatever decision you make.
I've heard this sentiment put in other words, too. For example, one woman told a group I was in, "We do best to keep our dipper out of the buckets of others." Of course, this doesn't mean we don't listen when loved ones need to discuss a decision. It doesn't mean we don't share what worked for us—though what works for me doesn't necessarily work for you. If asked by a friend, "What would you do if this were your decision?" we surely can respond. But we do well to always make clear that this is simply our opinion. We help best when we listen and encourage—encourage others to dig deeply inside and seek their own best wisdom.
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Fight negative body messages
I've written many times before about the way we women view our bodies. We face a plethora of external messages that tell us we're only good or worthy if we're size 4 or 6 and have an hour-glass figure and a model's face and body. Really?! Over time, this does real damage to our self-image and confidence.
Even my 8-year-old granddaughter has already gotten the message from somewhere around her that she's fat (definitely not her parents, who always tell her how wonderful she is just the way she is—and she isn't even carrying any extra weight). Her parents and I told her that she isn't fat and that her worth has nothing to do with body size anyway. It's oh-so-difficult to fight those messages. But we just have to. I suspect she must get that in school from peers, perhaps in the dolls she sees in stores (Barbie and all the others who don't look anything like most of us!), in movies or TV shows (even though she and her brother aren't encouraged to watch much TV at all, thankfully). It doesn't take much, though, does it, to eat its way into our psyche until we see ourselves as deficient and imperfect.
We need to fight those negative messages. We need to support and encourage one another. We need to give our young ones positive messages. We need to encourage positive self-images and promote self-love. It's so important.
Even my 8-year-old granddaughter has already gotten the message from somewhere around her that she's fat (definitely not her parents, who always tell her how wonderful she is just the way she is—and she isn't even carrying any extra weight). Her parents and I told her that she isn't fat and that her worth has nothing to do with body size anyway. It's oh-so-difficult to fight those messages. But we just have to. I suspect she must get that in school from peers, perhaps in the dolls she sees in stores (Barbie and all the others who don't look anything like most of us!), in movies or TV shows (even though she and her brother aren't encouraged to watch much TV at all, thankfully). It doesn't take much, though, does it, to eat its way into our psyche until we see ourselves as deficient and imperfect.
We need to fight those negative messages. We need to support and encourage one another. We need to give our young ones positive messages. We need to encourage positive self-images and promote self-love. It's so important.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Hand in hand, together we rise
Yesterday morning I heard Senator Elizabeth Warren interviewed on a news talk show. One of the hosts was trying to get Warren to criticize Hillary Clinton, presumptive presidential nominee for the Democrats, for something about which she hasn't yet spoken out. To her credit, Warren declined to badmouth Clinton but instead said she was waiting for Clinton to declare herself a nominee and then see what sort of platform she laid out. The host continued to push Warren on the issue, but she wouldn't be goaded into negative speech.
The entire exchange brought to mind all the ways I've seen women criticize, sabotage and put down other women. It always makes me sad to see this. We need all the support and help we can get from each other to make our way past decades of discrimination and lack of opportunity. We need to encourage, not discourage, each other.
Warren's action reminded me to be careful with the words I choose, too. This doesn't mean we have to agree with everything another woman does or says. Not at all. But there are a million ways we can encourage and support one another in our endeavors. It feels so good when we do. And it feels wonderful when we get the support and encouragement from other women, too, doesn't it? I have this image of women around the globe, hand in hand, helping one another—no matter what race, creed or country we represent. Together we rise!
The entire exchange brought to mind all the ways I've seen women criticize, sabotage and put down other women. It always makes me sad to see this. We need all the support and help we can get from each other to make our way past decades of discrimination and lack of opportunity. We need to encourage, not discourage, each other.
Warren's action reminded me to be careful with the words I choose, too. This doesn't mean we have to agree with everything another woman does or says. Not at all. But there are a million ways we can encourage and support one another in our endeavors. It feels so good when we do. And it feels wonderful when we get the support and encouragement from other women, too, doesn't it? I have this image of women around the globe, hand in hand, helping one another—no matter what race, creed or country we represent. Together we rise!
Monday, January 26, 2015
The 'secret sauce': Helping
Earlier this month, I turned over another page on my desk calendar to find this quote: "Helping others is the secret sauce to a happy life," by author Todd Stocker.
I like that. It's an interesting way to remind us of what we have heard so often and what we know to be true: We really do feel happiest when we know we are of help to others. If, in fact, it's true that we each want very much for our lives to have mattered, then it follows that we need to be about helping others. That's how our lives matter.
Does that mean we don't engage in self-care? That we become doormats and give of ourselves until there's nothing left and we're filled with resentment? Of course not.
It does mean that we don't remain in a state of self-absorption, though. It seems that a lot of today's marketing and advertising encourages us to be selfish and get what's coming to us, to take and take, to build up our own supply of "stuff." But we know that isn't the path to contentment, deep joy and happiness.
Look around. Do you see anyone in need of a helping hand? In need of some encouragement? Some love and support? You don't have to look far, I'm sure. Go ahead. Reach out—and find that "secret sauce." Share yourself (and your "stuff") with others. You will be so glad you did.
I like that. It's an interesting way to remind us of what we have heard so often and what we know to be true: We really do feel happiest when we know we are of help to others. If, in fact, it's true that we each want very much for our lives to have mattered, then it follows that we need to be about helping others. That's how our lives matter.
Does that mean we don't engage in self-care? That we become doormats and give of ourselves until there's nothing left and we're filled with resentment? Of course not.
It does mean that we don't remain in a state of self-absorption, though. It seems that a lot of today's marketing and advertising encourages us to be selfish and get what's coming to us, to take and take, to build up our own supply of "stuff." But we know that isn't the path to contentment, deep joy and happiness.
Look around. Do you see anyone in need of a helping hand? In need of some encouragement? Some love and support? You don't have to look far, I'm sure. Go ahead. Reach out—and find that "secret sauce." Share yourself (and your "stuff") with others. You will be so glad you did.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
I can do my part
One of the ways I receive inspiration is through all the reading I do. The words of others encourage, uplift and inspire me. I like to think these words draw out my better self.
On Sunday I read these words from poet Mark Nepo: "We cannot eliminate hunger, but we can feed each other. We cannot eliminate loneliness, but we can hold each other. We cannot eliminate pain, but we can live a life of compassion."
As one who is part romantic or idealist by nature, I always like to think we can solve the world's problems if we just apply ourselves. Nepo's words are a good reality check for me—while at the same time inspiring me to do the part that it is possible for me to do.
I cannot eliminate hunger. I cannot eliminate loneliness. Or pain. But I definitely can do what I can do. I can feed others, both with physical and with emotional/spiritual food. I can hold others. I can live a life of compassion. I can encourage. I can show love. Perhaps my words might even inspire someone.
At this time of year, when typically our hearts are more open, perhaps Nepo's words will strike home in your heart as well.
On Sunday I read these words from poet Mark Nepo: "We cannot eliminate hunger, but we can feed each other. We cannot eliminate loneliness, but we can hold each other. We cannot eliminate pain, but we can live a life of compassion."
As one who is part romantic or idealist by nature, I always like to think we can solve the world's problems if we just apply ourselves. Nepo's words are a good reality check for me—while at the same time inspiring me to do the part that it is possible for me to do.
I cannot eliminate hunger. I cannot eliminate loneliness. Or pain. But I definitely can do what I can do. I can feed others, both with physical and with emotional/spiritual food. I can hold others. I can live a life of compassion. I can encourage. I can show love. Perhaps my words might even inspire someone.
At this time of year, when typically our hearts are more open, perhaps Nepo's words will strike home in your heart as well.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Together we rise
It doesn't just take a village to raise children, I believe it takes one for us as adults, too. When we support, encourage and help one another, we do so much more than we can do alone.
I recently read about women around the globe gathering to help each other, thanks to a nonprofit begun by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Lean In Circles are established in more than 70 countries already in attempts to empower girls and women to find their voices and achieve their goals. Participants gather monthly or more often to learn, encourage and share with one another.
Last year Sandberg wrote a book titled Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead that started discussion around those issues, and now her nonprofit is helping us join hands around the world. Reportedly, there's even a circle of men in Phoenix who want to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem and their desire is to make their law firm a better place for women.
There's so much power when we join hands and when we support and encourage one another. By sharing our stories, we inspire one another, too. Where are you finding encouragement today? And where are you giving it?
I recently read about women around the globe gathering to help each other, thanks to a nonprofit begun by Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg. Lean In Circles are established in more than 70 countries already in attempts to empower girls and women to find their voices and achieve their goals. Participants gather monthly or more often to learn, encourage and share with one another.
Last year Sandberg wrote a book titled Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead that started discussion around those issues, and now her nonprofit is helping us join hands around the world. Reportedly, there's even a circle of men in Phoenix who want to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem and their desire is to make their law firm a better place for women.
There's so much power when we join hands and when we support and encourage one another. By sharing our stories, we inspire one another, too. Where are you finding encouragement today? And where are you giving it?
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Encourage those around you
Yesterday I was fortunate to be part of a group of women (and a few men) who attended a brunch that was followed by a program featuring an impersonation of Zelda Fitzgerald. These programs are regularly offered by a set of shops in a nearby suburb, and each one includes a program in which someone impersonates a historical figure. Last time we got acquainted with Benedict Arnold's wife. It's a wonderful way to learn more about historical figures as those who do these impersonations spend lots of time researching the characters they play.
One of the things I learned about Zelda was that her husband, F. Scott, was threatened by her writing talents when she became more accomplished. And he regularly used her diaries for material for his own writing! What a shame. It made me think of all those whose partners or spouses hold them back because they don't want anyone to outshine them. If those who love you aren't your cheerleaders and encouragers, who will be?
It's just a good reminder to check out my life. Am I encouraging those I love? Those around me? Do I try to control anyone else? Does anyone else try to control me or hold me down? And if so, what will I do about that? Don't accept put-downs, and don't allow the discouraging voices around you to carry the day. By the same token, become an encourager yourself.
One of the things I learned about Zelda was that her husband, F. Scott, was threatened by her writing talents when she became more accomplished. And he regularly used her diaries for material for his own writing! What a shame. It made me think of all those whose partners or spouses hold them back because they don't want anyone to outshine them. If those who love you aren't your cheerleaders and encouragers, who will be?
It's just a good reminder to check out my life. Am I encouraging those I love? Those around me? Do I try to control anyone else? Does anyone else try to control me or hold me down? And if so, what will I do about that? Don't accept put-downs, and don't allow the discouraging voices around you to carry the day. By the same token, become an encourager yourself.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Develop courage
Earlier I blogged about the death of the courageous writer and poet Maya Angelou. She left us with many words of wisdom. One of her famous quotes deals with courage.
"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest," Angelou wrote.
Each one of us is born with immense possibilities and potential. One of the traits we can choose to develop is courage—courage to speak out for what we believe. Courage to follow our dreams. Courage to love and be loved. Courage to be those things Angelou mentioned: kind, true, merciful, generous and honest.
I have also heard it said that courage doesn't indicate a lack of fear. Rather, it involves facing our fear and doing anyway that which we fear. It is a sign of hope to me that we need not be born with it. Who of us feels that we were? And who feels that she or he always shows courage? It can be developed, however. And it can be nurtured. You can nurture it in yourself. You can nurture courage in others. In fact, I've heard the word "encourage" described as "putting courage into" another person. Similarly, "discourage" is "taking courage out" or another. I like that—and I want to do more encouraging than discouraging.
What can you do today to build up your courage muscle? To encourage others?
"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest," Angelou wrote.
Each one of us is born with immense possibilities and potential. One of the traits we can choose to develop is courage—courage to speak out for what we believe. Courage to follow our dreams. Courage to love and be loved. Courage to be those things Angelou mentioned: kind, true, merciful, generous and honest.
I have also heard it said that courage doesn't indicate a lack of fear. Rather, it involves facing our fear and doing anyway that which we fear. It is a sign of hope to me that we need not be born with it. Who of us feels that we were? And who feels that she or he always shows courage? It can be developed, however. And it can be nurtured. You can nurture it in yourself. You can nurture courage in others. In fact, I've heard the word "encourage" described as "putting courage into" another person. Similarly, "discourage" is "taking courage out" or another. I like that—and I want to do more encouraging than discouraging.
What can you do today to build up your courage muscle? To encourage others?
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Pointing fingers: Pointless?
Several of my friends and many of my clients tell me about their workplace experiences of being disrespected and devalued. Or worse. Far too many supervisors and employers treat their most valuable resource—their employees—in a dismissive and at times, abusive, manner.
I have experienced this myself in some workplaces. Still, it always stops me in my tracks when I hear this. I wonder how this can happen. Even if the employer or supervisor were being purely selfish and wanting to look good or wishing to squeeze the last drop of work out of an employee, wouldn't they want to give that person all the tools, resources and encouragement they could to enhance productivity? It just seems so short-sighted, to say nothing of the cruelty and lack of compassion it demonstrates.
But when I hear these stories, I also have to look at my own life. How do I treat those whom I profess to love? How do I treat people around me? Those who perform services for me? Those I meet on streets and stores?
Do I treat them with respect? Compassion? When my "Hi" or my smile meets with a sullen look, a grunt or no response at all, does it occur to me that this person may well be having a very bad day—or week or year? Do I respond with compassion and understanding? I have a choice—in all my relationships and interactions.
I'm reminded of something I heard years ago: When you point a finger at someone else, you have several pointing back at you. Time to look in the mirror. What can I do to show understanding and respect today? How about you?
I have experienced this myself in some workplaces. Still, it always stops me in my tracks when I hear this. I wonder how this can happen. Even if the employer or supervisor were being purely selfish and wanting to look good or wishing to squeeze the last drop of work out of an employee, wouldn't they want to give that person all the tools, resources and encouragement they could to enhance productivity? It just seems so short-sighted, to say nothing of the cruelty and lack of compassion it demonstrates.
But when I hear these stories, I also have to look at my own life. How do I treat those whom I profess to love? How do I treat people around me? Those who perform services for me? Those I meet on streets and stores?
Do I treat them with respect? Compassion? When my "Hi" or my smile meets with a sullen look, a grunt or no response at all, does it occur to me that this person may well be having a very bad day—or week or year? Do I respond with compassion and understanding? I have a choice—in all my relationships and interactions.
I'm reminded of something I heard years ago: When you point a finger at someone else, you have several pointing back at you. Time to look in the mirror. What can I do to show understanding and respect today? How about you?
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Bring light into the world
My friend Carol has long been a mentor and model for me. One of the things I love about her is that she is an encourager.
When I send out my monthly ezine (if you aren't on the mailing list to receive this once a month, sign up to the right of this blog), she often sends me an email telling me what resonated with her. That kind of feedback is so helpful! It's a reminder to me to tell others when I like or appreciate something they've done.
When I have been down in the dumps or am going through a stressful time, she sends cheery cards and notes; and she sometimes calls with a positive message. She's good about sending emails encouraging—or even commiserating!
Sometimes when my workplace became stressful or painful, she made me laugh by reminding me to wear my hard-hat and flak jacket to work! She often jokingly told me to duck under my desk when stuff started flying at work! Those images always helped me to take things more lightly than I tended to do. They made me laugh. But even more, they reminded me that someone was thinking about me and what I was experiencing. Someone cared that my day was difficult.
Carol's example through the years has led me to become an encourager, too. I love sending cards, notes or emails to people to brighten their day, whether it's for a specific occasion or "just because." I know how wonderful it is to be on the receiving end of those. I have also discovered how great I feel when I do this for others.
How can you brighten someone's day today? It's good to start each day by asking how you can bring more light into the world that day.
When I send out my monthly ezine (if you aren't on the mailing list to receive this once a month, sign up to the right of this blog), she often sends me an email telling me what resonated with her. That kind of feedback is so helpful! It's a reminder to me to tell others when I like or appreciate something they've done.
When I have been down in the dumps or am going through a stressful time, she sends cheery cards and notes; and she sometimes calls with a positive message. She's good about sending emails encouraging—or even commiserating!
Sometimes when my workplace became stressful or painful, she made me laugh by reminding me to wear my hard-hat and flak jacket to work! She often jokingly told me to duck under my desk when stuff started flying at work! Those images always helped me to take things more lightly than I tended to do. They made me laugh. But even more, they reminded me that someone was thinking about me and what I was experiencing. Someone cared that my day was difficult.
Carol's example through the years has led me to become an encourager, too. I love sending cards, notes or emails to people to brighten their day, whether it's for a specific occasion or "just because." I know how wonderful it is to be on the receiving end of those. I have also discovered how great I feel when I do this for others.
How can you brighten someone's day today? It's good to start each day by asking how you can bring more light into the world that day.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Encouragement: We all need it
OK, I just have to use one more of poet and author Maya Angelou's words of wisdom about growing older: "I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...." (See my previous posts from this week.)
Don't you warm up just like a cat curled up in the sunshine when someone affirms you or encourages you, when someone thanks you for just being who you are, when they give you a warm hug? You and I need that ... and we're often afraid to ask for it. So ask yourself how often you give those things to others. If you do, good for you. If not, what holds you back?
Last week in my women's Bible study group, we each decided to be intentional this week on reaching out to others to encourage them. Our group facilitator, Pastor Lois, in a sermon once described the words "encourage" and "discourage" in this way: To encourage someone is to put courage into that person, and to discourage them is to take courage out. There's a great visual!
I love to compliment and affirm others, but I am even more aware of doing so this week because of my group discussing it last week. I also want to savor the experience when others give me that gift. For example, I just received an email from a friend who said she was so grateful for something I had given her recently and grateful for my "friendship and wisdom." Wow, she just made my day!
It really doesn't take much for us to reach out and encourage someone. Sometimes it's a touch—like a hug or pat on the back. Sometimes it's our words—whether in person or by phone or mail. When you compliment or thank someone, remember to be specific. That means even more.
Who might you reach out and touch today? Who in your life might warm up to a word of thanks, praise or encouragement today?
Don't you warm up just like a cat curled up in the sunshine when someone affirms you or encourages you, when someone thanks you for just being who you are, when they give you a warm hug? You and I need that ... and we're often afraid to ask for it. So ask yourself how often you give those things to others. If you do, good for you. If not, what holds you back?
Last week in my women's Bible study group, we each decided to be intentional this week on reaching out to others to encourage them. Our group facilitator, Pastor Lois, in a sermon once described the words "encourage" and "discourage" in this way: To encourage someone is to put courage into that person, and to discourage them is to take courage out. There's a great visual!
I love to compliment and affirm others, but I am even more aware of doing so this week because of my group discussing it last week. I also want to savor the experience when others give me that gift. For example, I just received an email from a friend who said she was so grateful for something I had given her recently and grateful for my "friendship and wisdom." Wow, she just made my day!
It really doesn't take much for us to reach out and encourage someone. Sometimes it's a touch—like a hug or pat on the back. Sometimes it's our words—whether in person or by phone or mail. When you compliment or thank someone, remember to be specific. That means even more.
Who might you reach out and touch today? Who in your life might warm up to a word of thanks, praise or encouragement today?
Friday, November 16, 2012
I need your help
Two weeks ago I sent an email to several of my friends asking for blog topic ideas. More than anything, I want these daily blogs to be relevant for you. I write them to inspire. I write them to encourage and sometimes to prod you outside your comfort zone and into a new arena. I want to start a conversation. Several conversations!
I subscribe to the theory that I often hear clergy say to describe the purpose of their sermons: They are to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. I know I need both of those when I am coached. I need them from friends. I want comfort, healing, encouragement, support. And I also want to be pushed outside my comfort zone so I can stretch myself into new possibilities. A comforting hug—and sometimes, a kick in the pants to get moving!
I write these blogs on topics that I hear from clients, friends and women around me ... and on topics I need to hear about myself. But I'd love to hear what you want. What is on your mind these days? What are the burning questions you face? And what are you hearing from the women in your circles?
I invite you to share in the Comment Box below (I don't collect emails there, and your email doesn't show up. You can select "Anonymous" for your profile when prompted, and you can sign your name in the comment or not—your choice). Or you mail email me at: sonia@way2growcoaching.com and give me your topic ideas. This is your chance to have a voice. I want to hear it.
I subscribe to the theory that I often hear clergy say to describe the purpose of their sermons: They are to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. I know I need both of those when I am coached. I need them from friends. I want comfort, healing, encouragement, support. And I also want to be pushed outside my comfort zone so I can stretch myself into new possibilities. A comforting hug—and sometimes, a kick in the pants to get moving!
I write these blogs on topics that I hear from clients, friends and women around me ... and on topics I need to hear about myself. But I'd love to hear what you want. What is on your mind these days? What are the burning questions you face? And what are you hearing from the women in your circles?
I invite you to share in the Comment Box below (I don't collect emails there, and your email doesn't show up. You can select "Anonymous" for your profile when prompted, and you can sign your name in the comment or not—your choice). Or you mail email me at: sonia@way2growcoaching.com and give me your topic ideas. This is your chance to have a voice. I want to hear it.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Fill 'er up - with courage
Today I had tea with a dear friend, who is launching a business for the first time in her life. We talked about all the details that need attention when one is an entrepreneur. I shared some of my experiences in setting up my life coaching practice—as well as things I had learned from operating an advertising and marketing business many years ago. She shared some steps she’s taking to jump into this career that’s been a dream for years.
My friend and I encouraged each other in our enterprises and also talked openly about obstacles we saw. We shared the excitement and the passion we felt about our chosen paths, and we threw out ideas for facing the obstacles.
Isn’t it fun to have family and friends with whom we can share our joys and our fears? And isn’t it wonderful to encourage each other on the journey?
Encourage or discourage
Some time ago I heard a sermon in which the pastor described the two words “encourage” and “discourage.” She said that when we encourage someone, we put courage into them. When we discourage another person, we take courage out of them.
What strong images that provokes! Can’t you just picture pouring courage into someone? And siphoning courage out of them?
Take time today to encourage someone in your life. Picture yourself filling that person up with courage. Doesn’t that feel great?
And when others encourage you, accept it graciously. Take it in. Absorb it. Remember it. Feel yourself filling up with courage!
My friend and I encouraged each other in our enterprises and also talked openly about obstacles we saw. We shared the excitement and the passion we felt about our chosen paths, and we threw out ideas for facing the obstacles.
Isn’t it fun to have family and friends with whom we can share our joys and our fears? And isn’t it wonderful to encourage each other on the journey?
Encourage or discourage
Some time ago I heard a sermon in which the pastor described the two words “encourage” and “discourage.” She said that when we encourage someone, we put courage into them. When we discourage another person, we take courage out of them.
What strong images that provokes! Can’t you just picture pouring courage into someone? And siphoning courage out of them?
Take time today to encourage someone in your life. Picture yourself filling that person up with courage. Doesn’t that feel great?
And when others encourage you, accept it graciously. Take it in. Absorb it. Remember it. Feel yourself filling up with courage!
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