We said farewell to our senior pastor last Sunday as we sent him off into retirement. In his last sermon he talked about endings and beginnings, and he reminded us that every "Hello" has a "Goodbye" in its back pocket. How true that is.
I've heard it said this way, too: Endings carry within them the seeds of new beginnings. No matter how you phrase the idea, it's good for us to remember this. Does it mean we don't mark and grieve endings? Not at all. It just means we keep in mind that beginnings will follow those endings. If you face a career change, a job loss, the death of someone you love, a move to another city or state, or any kind of transition or ending, you know that it will mean a switch to what will become a "new normal."
Such transitions aren't always easy. Sometimes they are extremely painful. And for some, these transitions can nearly bring life to a stop—they are that debilitating and painful!
It is at such times when we need to call on all our resources—our family and friends, our past experiences, our faith and yes, even our sense of humor—to get us through. Think about all the resources you have.
Are you facing any endings today? Or do you have loved ones who are? What do you need? Or what does that friend or family member need from you?
Showing posts with label resources. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resources. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 6, 2018
Monday, December 4, 2017
You are not alone
I'm sure your email inbox gets packed just as full as mine does. A few days ago I noticed another email from Gabby Giffords, the former U.S. Congresswoman from Arizona who survived an assassination attempt in 2011, asking that I contribute to help fight gun violence. In her email she talked about how most of the goals any of us set require the support and help of others. Our accomplishments and those times we've overcome adversity have no doubt been undergirded by support from others.
Giffords quoted Althea Gibson, the first African-American to win a Grand Slam tennis title, "No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you."
We do well to remember that. It really does take a village—not just to raise children but for adults to get through life, too.
What are you facing right now? Are you feeling alone? Are you tapping the human resources around you to help you face this? Remember, you don't have to go it alone. There are always people in our lives who stand ready and willing to support and help. It honors them when we allow them to help, too. We don't need to leap tall buildings all by ourselves!
If you would like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
Giffords quoted Althea Gibson, the first African-American to win a Grand Slam tennis title, "No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you."
We do well to remember that. It really does take a village—not just to raise children but for adults to get through life, too.
What are you facing right now? Are you feeling alone? Are you tapping the human resources around you to help you face this? Remember, you don't have to go it alone. There are always people in our lives who stand ready and willing to support and help. It honors them when we allow them to help, too. We don't need to leap tall buildings all by ourselves!
If you would like to discuss this, I invite you to contact me for a complimentary strategy session.
Monday, March 2, 2015
'Give while you live'
Last week my brother said he liked the phrase, "Give while you live." He meant giving to charities and causes that are important to you when you're still alive rather than simply leaving money in your will. He not only likes that phrase. He lives it. As a result, he's reaping the joy of sharing his resources and seeing the difference that makes in lives. One way he does that is through funding a scholarship at a college from which he, my sister and I graduated. Through that program he gets to know personally the impact he's making on young lives.
His phrase made me think more broadly about giving, too. We have so many opportunities each day to make a difference in the lives of others—and at the same time, make a difference in our own life. We have so many ways to share. We can share our money and other resource, of course. And we can also share smiles, hugs and kindness. We can share stories and tears. We can share forgiveness and compassion. We can share patience, encouragement and validation. At the base of it all is love; we can share our love.
A heart that is open and giving, sharing love and care in multiple ways each day, is also a joyful heart. What gifts are you being called to share today?
His phrase made me think more broadly about giving, too. We have so many opportunities each day to make a difference in the lives of others—and at the same time, make a difference in our own life. We have so many ways to share. We can share our money and other resource, of course. And we can also share smiles, hugs and kindness. We can share stories and tears. We can share forgiveness and compassion. We can share patience, encouragement and validation. At the base of it all is love; we can share our love.
A heart that is open and giving, sharing love and care in multiple ways each day, is also a joyful heart. What gifts are you being called to share today?
Friday, July 11, 2014
Resources to face life
Do you have a lot of resources to handle all that comes your way in life? Resources can include family and friends, behaviors you have learned that get you through, de-stressing techniques such as yoga and deep breathing, groups to which you belong for support, your faith and your religious community, books and other materials that give you tips to deal with life issues—and much more.
The more resources you have, the stronger you will feel. The stronger you feel, the more confident you will be that you can indeed face whatever life brings your way.
"A woman is like a tea bag," Eleanor Roosevelt once famously said, "for you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water." True enough. Sometimes we have no idea how really strong and resourceful we are until something traumatic happens in our life. Suddenly we are thrown into the deep end of the pool, and we have to sink or swim. That's when it's great to have a good supply of resources—a good tool kit, as it were. Best not to wait until you face a difficult situation.
Why not think today about what's in your Facing Life Toolkit? What are your resources? If you need to develop some more, now's a good time to do so.
The more resources you have, the stronger you will feel. The stronger you feel, the more confident you will be that you can indeed face whatever life brings your way.
"A woman is like a tea bag," Eleanor Roosevelt once famously said, "for you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water." True enough. Sometimes we have no idea how really strong and resourceful we are until something traumatic happens in our life. Suddenly we are thrown into the deep end of the pool, and we have to sink or swim. That's when it's great to have a good supply of resources—a good tool kit, as it were. Best not to wait until you face a difficult situation.
Why not think today about what's in your Facing Life Toolkit? What are your resources? If you need to develop some more, now's a good time to do so.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Sharing stories and ideas
Do you like to read as much as I do? I absolutely devour books. Although I enjoy autobiographies, I tend more toward fiction. I also read lots of inspirational books to keep me feeling positive.
My book club met last night—our final meeting before we take a summer break. I'm always amazed at all the different meanings and levels of meaning found in the books we read. That's what I like so much about being part of a book club. Someone else may have gotten something very different out of a story. I always learn so much. Because we bring our own life stories into the discussion at times, I also learn something about my sister club members. Their journeys teach me something, too.
Another thing I like is that because we all contribute ideas about which books we should read for the year, I end up reading books I otherwise might not read. And other women have said the same about books I've suggested; they might never have read those either.
It's so fun to share. Sharing books. Stories. Ideas. Learnings. Resources. Journeys.
If you have any book that rises to the top of your list right now, I'd love to hear about it in the Comments box below. Please share your favorite(s).
My book club met last night—our final meeting before we take a summer break. I'm always amazed at all the different meanings and levels of meaning found in the books we read. That's what I like so much about being part of a book club. Someone else may have gotten something very different out of a story. I always learn so much. Because we bring our own life stories into the discussion at times, I also learn something about my sister club members. Their journeys teach me something, too.
Another thing I like is that because we all contribute ideas about which books we should read for the year, I end up reading books I otherwise might not read. And other women have said the same about books I've suggested; they might never have read those either.
It's so fun to share. Sharing books. Stories. Ideas. Learnings. Resources. Journeys.
If you have any book that rises to the top of your list right now, I'd love to hear about it in the Comments box below. Please share your favorite(s).
Monday, June 10, 2013
What's in your de-stressing tool kit?
For some reason, my life has seemed so busy lately. There have been a lot of additional things happening, and I have added some painting and house touch-ups to my to-do list. But I realize that part of the stress I experience is internal.
It is true that I've had to keep moving with not much down time. But if I could just remain calm and unruffled inside, I'd be much better off.
Do you ever have that happen? You do have lots to do—but it's your feelings about it that exacerbate your stress?
OK, I tell myself: It's time for some deep breathing. Some additional yoga stretches. A nice, long walk in nature (if it would ever stop raining long enough!). Extra meditation time. Journaling. All those things that calm me down and reduce my stress levels.
I hope you have a tool kit of resources that help you reduce stress. What's in your kit? For each of us, the tools and resources will be different. My fiance likes to mow his lawn and work in the garden. Those aren't my favorite stress reducers. In fact, my stress is reduced because my townhome association takes care of such things!
Learn those things that help you relax—and be sure you turn to them when your stress levels are out of control. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do some more yoga stretches.
It is true that I've had to keep moving with not much down time. But if I could just remain calm and unruffled inside, I'd be much better off.
Do you ever have that happen? You do have lots to do—but it's your feelings about it that exacerbate your stress?
OK, I tell myself: It's time for some deep breathing. Some additional yoga stretches. A nice, long walk in nature (if it would ever stop raining long enough!). Extra meditation time. Journaling. All those things that calm me down and reduce my stress levels.
I hope you have a tool kit of resources that help you reduce stress. What's in your kit? For each of us, the tools and resources will be different. My fiance likes to mow his lawn and work in the garden. Those aren't my favorite stress reducers. In fact, my stress is reduced because my townhome association takes care of such things!
Learn those things that help you relax—and be sure you turn to them when your stress levels are out of control. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to do some more yoga stretches.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Know who you are, part II
Yesterday we talked about how helpful the Enneagram is to knowing yourself and being able to make choices based on that self-knowledge. I gave you a couple resources to help you discover which of the nine Enneagram types you are. Today I want to also mention the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.
I first took the Myers-Briggs test more than 20 years ago. I will never forget what an aha-moment it was when I discovered my four-letter type and read a description or portrait of that type (I was an ENFJ at that time). I wondered if the person who gave me the test and scored it had been hiding in my house! The portrait really fit in so many ways.
One of the best parts was that I discovered what was natural or "normal" for my type. It helped me quit being so hard on myself for things I didn't do. An ENFJ doesn't like dealing with logic or facts that are unrelated to other people. So when it came to just hard, cold facts, I was bored silly. But tell me how those facts relate to the well-being of others and you've got my attention. So what was the point of beating up on myself for not being good with statistics when what really mattered to me was building relationships and using my gifts to help others?
Gradually over the years, I've moved over into being an INFJ—still very similar. And again, reading a portrait of that type helps me understand my patterns. I recommend you take the test if you haven't done so already. There are some online tests that are based on the Myers-Briggs. If you want to take the real thing, you'll need to see a professional who's been trained. But these online resources will give you a good idea of your type (and then you can Google "ENFJ portrait," for example, to read about your type): Human Metrics and another one called the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, which is quite similar to Myers-Briggs.
The better you know yourself, the more accepting you become of who you are. And the easier it can be to make choices about becoming the healthiest of your type that you can.
I first took the Myers-Briggs test more than 20 years ago. I will never forget what an aha-moment it was when I discovered my four-letter type and read a description or portrait of that type (I was an ENFJ at that time). I wondered if the person who gave me the test and scored it had been hiding in my house! The portrait really fit in so many ways.
One of the best parts was that I discovered what was natural or "normal" for my type. It helped me quit being so hard on myself for things I didn't do. An ENFJ doesn't like dealing with logic or facts that are unrelated to other people. So when it came to just hard, cold facts, I was bored silly. But tell me how those facts relate to the well-being of others and you've got my attention. So what was the point of beating up on myself for not being good with statistics when what really mattered to me was building relationships and using my gifts to help others?
Gradually over the years, I've moved over into being an INFJ—still very similar. And again, reading a portrait of that type helps me understand my patterns. I recommend you take the test if you haven't done so already. There are some online tests that are based on the Myers-Briggs. If you want to take the real thing, you'll need to see a professional who's been trained. But these online resources will give you a good idea of your type (and then you can Google "ENFJ portrait," for example, to read about your type): Human Metrics and another one called the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, which is quite similar to Myers-Briggs.
The better you know yourself, the more accepting you become of who you are. And the easier it can be to make choices about becoming the healthiest of your type that you can.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Resources to discover who you are
Yesterday we talked about vulnerability in love relationships, whether that be friendships or family connections. Vulnerability is about being open to others, knowing there's a chance you can get hurt. It's about being willing to ask questions and not always have the answers. Vulnerability is being "susceptible to physical or emotional injury," says an online dictionary. It's about letting people in, opening your heart and risking whatever comes with that.
I'm an Enneagram 8 (variously called "The Challenger," "The Leader," "The Protector" or "The Rock," among other things). An 8's basic fear is of being controlled by others and the 8's basic desire is to determine their own course in life. The Challenger feels that she or he is good if she or he is strong. So I have long struggled with being really vulnerable, even though I'm a completely relational person and easily enter into deep friendships. I keep working on it, though, knowing that the more I share of my weaknesses, the more others will relate to me. I know it'll bring more balance for me, too.
What do you know about yourself? About your friendship or love style? I have found that knowing my Enneagram type (and my Myers-Briggs) helps me understand my behavior and make course corrections that take me to the healthy side of my type. It's a work-in-process, of course. And I get lots of other help along the way: coaching, sometimes counseling, and inspiration and support from family and friends—in addition to guidance from books and workshops.
If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and determining your type, here are a couple website resources to help you: Eclectic Energies and Enneagram Test. I'd love to hear about your discoveries and what difference it makes for you. Please do contact me if you'd like to work on moving toward the healthy side of your type.
I'm an Enneagram 8 (variously called "The Challenger," "The Leader," "The Protector" or "The Rock," among other things). An 8's basic fear is of being controlled by others and the 8's basic desire is to determine their own course in life. The Challenger feels that she or he is good if she or he is strong. So I have long struggled with being really vulnerable, even though I'm a completely relational person and easily enter into deep friendships. I keep working on it, though, knowing that the more I share of my weaknesses, the more others will relate to me. I know it'll bring more balance for me, too.
What do you know about yourself? About your friendship or love style? I have found that knowing my Enneagram type (and my Myers-Briggs) helps me understand my behavior and make course corrections that take me to the healthy side of my type. It's a work-in-process, of course. And I get lots of other help along the way: coaching, sometimes counseling, and inspiration and support from family and friends—in addition to guidance from books and workshops.
If you are interested in learning more about the Enneagram and determining your type, here are a couple website resources to help you: Eclectic Energies and Enneagram Test. I'd love to hear about your discoveries and what difference it makes for you. Please do contact me if you'd like to work on moving toward the healthy side of your type.
Monday, March 12, 2012
"Live the questions"
So many people are totally discouraged with their careers or with where they are in life. How about you? Do you like where you are now? Are you (mostly) happy with your life? If you are content, enjoy this time of your life. If you are truly intoxicated with life, rejoice. You really are blessed.
If you aren’t, what would you like to change? Perhaps you would just like to tweak a few things in your life to make it work better for you. Or are you looking for major change? Perhaps you’re asking some of the big life questions. Maybe you’re even ready for new dreams.
Embrace change
I encourage you to not be afraid of the change. Embrace it. Don’t back away from the questions. Rather do as poet Rainer Maria Rilke advised and “live the questions.” In his Letters to a Young Poet, he wrote, “… have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. … Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Take the time you need to “live the questions.” Engage whatever help you need in doing so. Explore resources and options. Create space in your life to let the questions float around inside and around you. This is a process, not unlike the caterpillar/cocoon/butterfly transformation. Let it unfold. Contact me if you’d like a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session to discuss this.
If you aren’t, what would you like to change? Perhaps you would just like to tweak a few things in your life to make it work better for you. Or are you looking for major change? Perhaps you’re asking some of the big life questions. Maybe you’re even ready for new dreams.
Embrace change
I encourage you to not be afraid of the change. Embrace it. Don’t back away from the questions. Rather do as poet Rainer Maria Rilke advised and “live the questions.” In his Letters to a Young Poet, he wrote, “… have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. … Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Take the time you need to “live the questions.” Engage whatever help you need in doing so. Explore resources and options. Create space in your life to let the questions float around inside and around you. This is a process, not unlike the caterpillar/cocoon/butterfly transformation. Let it unfold. Contact me if you’d like a no-obligation, complimentary strategy session to discuss this.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Listen to your longings
For what do you most yearn at this point in your life?
Is there something you’ve long wanted to do? Would you like to change careers—or do you want to move up in your present field?
Are you ready for a new relationship—or do you need to make changes in a current friendship or love relationship?
Or is it balance you long for—or a better self-image?
Just know that, whatever your deepest longings are, you are worth it! Let this be the year you give yourself the gift of expressing and meeting your longings.
Small steps
Is something holding you back? Perhaps you hear yourself giving excuses: I don’t have time for that goal. I can’t do that; it’s too selfish, and my family needs all my time. I don’t have what it takes to do that.
Really? Is that true? Be honest.
Do you still want to go for it? OK, then determine how you will get there. What needs to be done to reach for longed-for desire? Break the goal down into small steps. Bite-sized pieces are easier to swallow than the entire pizza!
What one thing can you do this month to get there? And after that? Imagine how it will feel to get what you so desire. Can you picture it? How do you feel? How does it change your world—and your outlook?
What resources might you need to get there? If you need support from family or friends, just ask. If you need encouragement and coaching, email or call me today for an initial conversation—or to schedule a complimentary and absolutely no-obligation sample session.
Listen to your heart. Follow your yearnings. Make this the year you take action!
Is there something you’ve long wanted to do? Would you like to change careers—or do you want to move up in your present field?
Are you ready for a new relationship—or do you need to make changes in a current friendship or love relationship?
Or is it balance you long for—or a better self-image?
Just know that, whatever your deepest longings are, you are worth it! Let this be the year you give yourself the gift of expressing and meeting your longings.
Small steps
Is something holding you back? Perhaps you hear yourself giving excuses: I don’t have time for that goal. I can’t do that; it’s too selfish, and my family needs all my time. I don’t have what it takes to do that.
Really? Is that true? Be honest.
Do you still want to go for it? OK, then determine how you will get there. What needs to be done to reach for longed-for desire? Break the goal down into small steps. Bite-sized pieces are easier to swallow than the entire pizza!
What one thing can you do this month to get there? And after that? Imagine how it will feel to get what you so desire. Can you picture it? How do you feel? How does it change your world—and your outlook?
What resources might you need to get there? If you need support from family or friends, just ask. If you need encouragement and coaching, email or call me today for an initial conversation—or to schedule a complimentary and absolutely no-obligation sample session.
Listen to your heart. Follow your yearnings. Make this the year you take action!
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