Inspirational tidbits for today

I subscribe to The Magnolia Journal, the magazine of "Inspiration for life and home" put together by Joanna and Chip Gaines of HGTV fame. Truthfully, I often find inspiration in its pages. So their motto holds true for me.

In the latest issue on "curiosity," the editors included what they call the "Magnolia Manifesto" on what they believe. The manifesto contained several items that I want to pass along because I think they're worth some reflection:

"We believe:
—that friends who feel like family are the best kind of friends and that nothing matters more than family.
—that today is a gift and that every day miracles are scattered about if only we have eyes to see them.
—that failure needn't be a negative thing; rather, we learn from our mistakes and fail smarter next time.
—in doing work that we love and, in choosing that, nudging others toward doing what they love.
...and of all heroic pursuits large or small, we believe there may be none greater than a life well loved."

So what do you think? Do those resonate with you, too? There were more, but these were some of my favorites. One could journal several pages on each of those items. Give them some thought and see whether they inspire you today. May your day be bright and filled with beauty!

About Labor Day

Today is Labor Day here in the United States. Several other countries celebrate such a day in May. The first Labor Day in this country was held in 1882 and was created as a holiday for workers by the Central Labor Union. Originally, the day was filled with a street parade meant to appreciate the work of trade and labor organizations. The parade was followed by a festival of some type to entertain local workers and their families. It wasn't until 1894 that the U.S. Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September a legal holiday.

Now we can use it to remind ourselves of the social and economic achievements of Americans. But we should also be aware of how all workers are treated—and support good working conditions and wages for everyone.

A little-known piece of Labor Day history is the Pullman railway worker strike in Chicago that occurred just after Congress passed its act in 1894. Railway magnate George Pullman laid off workers and reduced wages, causing workers to strike and eventually to resort to violence, tipping over railroad cars and setting them on fire. Troops entered the scene with bayonets and bullets. Dozens of people died in Chicago and elsewhere.

This is a day for most Americans to relax and hang out with family and friends. But it's also good to think about what the day really meant through history and means today for workers.

Bringing the light

I hear a good deal of pain and frustration from people these days about their workplaces. It seems most everyone is doing more than one job (and not getting compensated for the added work) as companies downsize but don't cut back on the work load. The workers who are left have to pick up the slack.

More and more employees simply have their heads down and just keep pushing through, attempting to "do it all," knowing if they complain, they will be told how lucky they are to have a job and that they need to just suck it up. And that's true. They are fortunate to have a job. But they don't feel so fortunate when they can't keep up with the work load and when the environment has grown so toxic and unfriendly. It reminds me of the cartoon I saw years ago where the boss was beating an employee. The caption read: "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

We can do better than this. I don't know what the answers are, but I do know we can do better. And I do know that this is not the type of motivation that causes people to do their creative and best work. I wonder whether we could actually begin a national conversation about this? I know, I know, there are so many things about which we need national conversations! But we do have to begin somewhere.

For now, perhaps we each simply need to do our part to add more light and love to the world since there seems to exist plenty of darkness and toxicity. Perhaps compassion for each other would be a good place to begin. What do you think?

Boundaries, bullies & balance

I can't tell you how many people these days tell me about workplace bullies and boundary issues. The bullying problems that children have in grade school and that follow them all through high school and into college don't stop once they get into the workplace. Sadly, some people continue to harass and bully others even when they become adults. So we have to deal with this for much of our life. And it's downright painful.

Boundaries are essential borders each of us sets around what behavior we'll accept from others and what behavior we won't endure. They are crucial when it comes to bullies. Sometimes bullies don't even see the hurt they cause. Perhaps they are so tuned in only to themselves or they are emotionally unaware. It's always worthwhile to try confront a bully who has disrespected or mistreated you in the workplace. You need to do so calmly, however; otherwise, the message will be lost as a bully likely will escalate the behavior if she/he feels threatened. Calmly state your desire: "Please do not shout at me when you ask me for something you need," for example. You may want to add the consequence if the behavior continues: "When you shout at me in the future, I will need to leave the room. I will be unable to fulfill your request. However, if you can speak to me respectfully, I will continue our interaction."

Don't give up if the behavior persists. Continue to calmly state your desire. Of course, if the behavior continues for weeks and months, you will want to consider stronger actions, such as keeping a written record of the behavior and reporting to a supervisor.

There's no doubt that it's difficult to keep a balance between ignoring bullies and confronting them by setting boundaries. And it's especially tricky in a workplace where you fear reprisal either from the bully or from management. As we know all too well, sometimes the bullies appear to win the day. However, your well-being and emotional health matter. So you need to do whatever you can to stay in balance. If you would like to discuss this in a complimentary coaching strategy session, I invite you to contact me.

Unplug and decompress

Have you ever had one of your electronic devices seize up or not function properly? No, that never happens, right? Hmmm, yup, far too often. Often, when we simply unplug the device or turn it off for a while, something gets reset and it will work properly when we turn it back on.

Don't you wonder why we don't think of that in relation to our own operating systems? Sometimes we simply need to be "unplugged" for a while. We need to step off the crazy treadmill of work, caregiving, volunteering, parenting, or just life and all its craziness—and let ourselves have a few moments (or even more than a "few moments") of peace and relaxation.

We need to decompress and get centered and grounded again. If that's good for our devices, it definitely should be good for us, too. It reboots and resets our brains and all systems, helps us unwind, improves our concentration, increases our creativity and problem-solving ability, enhances relationships and makes us more productive. This isn't just good for us; it's also good for our children, who also need unstructured time.

Interestingly enough, studies at the University of Michigan found that a lack of "me" time or privacy is actually a bigger cause of unhappy marriages than a less-than-satisfying sex life. So there you go. Give yourself the gift of time and learn how to unplug.

Restore order and beauty

I like a neat, relatively clean house—although I'm not quite as fanatical about it as I used to be. Cleaning toilets and floors simply isn't the way I enjoy spending my time now. That said, I can't stand to live in a messy, dirty place either.

So when I read this recently in Melody Beattie's Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul, it gave me something to ponder:

"How often we think we don't want to be bothered with laundry, bills, dishes, the lawn. We have other things to do, more important tasks to accomplish on this journey we're on. ... The simple tasks are the microcosm of how our lives work. They keep us grounded in reality, they remind us of what's real, they show us how life works."

She ended with this thought: "Restore and maintain order around you, and you'll feel order in your soul. Create beauty around you, and you'll feel beauty in your soul. The magic will return. The simple tasks will lead you back to it."

Hmmm, perhaps I need to see ordinary tasks from a slightly different angle. This calls for a bit of reframing on my part. Now, please excuse me while I go clean my house and do the laundry.

The 'unretirement years'

Retirement is looking mighty different these days. So much has changed in the last few decades. Not only are we living longer so we have more years to be retired, but retirement savings and pension plans aren't what they seemed to be.

We can either decry the situation and grumble about how unfair life is. Or we can look at these changes to see the adventure and possibilities embedded in them. Yes, I'm fully aware that this depends completely on our health and well-being. For those who struggle with poor health, engaging in a new career isn't possible. And dealing with illness and fewer financial resources can be scary, there's no doubt about it.

But if you don't face health issues, retirement years could be a time to take on new dreams and challenges. It's a time to look at your bucket list or those dreams you kept in your pocket for decades while you worked at the job or career that simply paid the bills. What had you always wanted to do and never could? Can you do that now? Are there parts of it that could take expression now in your retirement years? What do you love doing that could be turned into a part-time (or full-time) encore career?

There are many resources and groups out there these days, too. Simply Google "second or third careers" or "encore career" and see all the resources that pop up. Many are calling these the "Unretirement years." So many options exist—and who knows, perhaps there's something calling your name that no one else has even thought to try yet. This is a time for exploration—a time to brainstorm all the possibilities. Go ahead—have some fun with it! And if you haven't yet retired but look forward to it, you can start dreaming now.

Self-care in the work place

I've had lots of clients—and I have lots of friends—who are unhappy in their work places. Many say their work place is "toxic" and hurtful to their psyches and emotional well-being. Their work may put food on the table and feed their bodies, but it's killing their spirits.

It's always worth asking the question: Can you leave that work place? Is another job possible? Is a move to another department possible? What are the options for you?

Granted, sometimes you simply cannot afford to leave a work place. You may not be able to change jobs. There may be any number of reasons why you need to stay. If that is the case, it's worth exploring how you might protect yourself from the toxicity—or how you might even view your work place or colleagues differently. Most often, the way bosses or colleagues (mis-) treat us has little or nothing to do with us. It's more about them. It's often about the wounds and issues going on inside that other person. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to take. Yet, sometimes it can make us more forgiving and more determined to be as kind, compassionate and loving as is humanly possible.

Generate as many options as you can. Above all, listen to your heart and protect yourself as best you can. Show yourself compassion, care and love so your spirit isn't crushed—and so you don't end up becoming a person you never wanted to be.

If you'd like some conversation around this issue, I invite you to contact me.

Play not push

Have you ever worked so hard to make something happen? You've had this strong desire, and you move heaven and earth to bring it to fulfillment. Only it just won't come together. And then you loosen your grip on the dream or project (not totally letting it go, though)—and, voila, it does come together.

That doesn't always happen. But sometimes it does. We can really wear ourselves out struggling to make something happen, and it feels like such hard work. It is hard work. While it's not always true, sometimes it can be helpful to stop, take some breaths, loosen your grip, perhaps even invite others in to help, and then see if the dream or desired outcome won't come to life. The wisdom is in knowing just when to do this and when to keep pushing, of course.

I'm an Enneagram 8, and we tend to keep on keeping on. Sometimes that's a good trait. Other times, not so much. So I'm trying to learn to loosen my grip. Everything doesn't have to be such hard work. To do that, I'm starting to learn how to be creative in a playful way. My journaling can include colored pencils, crayons and newsprint as well as my bound journals and a pen. My exercises can include dancing and not just the treadmill and resistance bands. Get the idea? I'm trying to add some play into my life.

If this issue is something with which you struggle, I invite you to contact me for some conversation. And I'd love to hear your comments in the Comment Box below.

Work for your dreams

Since yesterday was Election Day, the saying that appeared on my calendar page a couple weeks ago is especially fitting.

William Arthur Ward, a writer of inspirational maxims, said the following: "Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work."

Taking advantage of the right and privilege of voting is right in line with that attitude. It's participating in the collective work in which we engage as a society. It requires being an informed citizen. It's more than belonging to this society. It's participating in it. Action is required.

As a woman, particularly, I don't take this right and privilege for granted. It sometimes stops me short to remember that in my own mother's lifetime, women did not have the right to vote. Because of the hard work and risk-taking of several women who marched, spoke out, withstood jail and a variety of abuses and endured other hardships, today I'm able to do more than belong to society. I am able to fully participate by voting for those whom I think will be responsible, just and wise leaders. Those women who went before me did more than dream. They put in the hard work to ensure that one day, women would have the same rights as men—and that our voices would be heard. I'm so grateful. And I, too, want to do more than just the minimum.

What about you?

Fun & function

Is there any law that says we can't have fun while waiting at a traffic light for the signal to turn green so we can cross the street? Apparently, someone thought it would be fun to design such a signal. It combines fun and function. I found a YouTube video of it.

So some person created a traffic signal with a dancing figure that has lots of moves to show you while you wait for the light to turn green. Not only does the signal encourage people to dance on the sidewalk in sheer joy while they wait, but the signal has been shown to be more effective—81 percent more people stopped at the signal where this was tested. So, let's see: people happily dancing on the sidewalk and most likely spreading joy during the rest of their day OR people crabbily waiting for the signal to turn, or worse yet, dashing across the street in front of fast-moving cars? Hmm, that's a no-brainer.

So, are there ways we can make ordinary, everyday—and sometimes irritating—tasks more fun? We can combine fun and function. I know women who dance in their kitchens while they're preparing meals. Good exercise. Good fun. And the meals get done. They may even taste better because they're made with more love and more joy!

How can you add some fun into your daily tasks today? Go for it. There's nothing that says the mundane can't also be enjoyable.