Wake up to wonder

Sometimes I wonder whether we have to face crisis or illness before we wake up to the wonder of all that life offers. Can we not live fully without the threat of losing our life, our health or loved ones?

Mark Nepo, in his book Inside the Miracle: Enduring Suffering, Approaching Wholeness, speaks about his cancer and says:

"Each significant death to this point has made me reassess who I am and what I'm doing. The shock of life's fragility has made me change so as not to waste the thread of time I have. But after my own illness, I am living fully, not wasting a moment, not squandering a chance, not racing toward tomorrow or burrowing in the past."

In this same book he says:

"There is no question that the experience of great breaking brings with it a terrible knowledge that is life altering. And whether that breaking comes about by accident, injustice, abuse, or disease, suddenly and irrevocably we become forever aware that out of nowhere a force can come at any time without warning to remove or damage whatever it is that we hold dear."

Yes, for sure these things are true. And despite that—or perhaps because of it—we can and must open to the wonder and beauty of life. Live each moment. Gratefully.

'A life well loved'

I may have mentioned before that I like the Magnolia Manifesto that's printed in The Magnolia Journal: Inspiration for Life and Home magazine I receive. This is done by Joanna and Chip Gaines of HGTV fame. Forgive me if I've already quoted from it before. I don't recall. Even if I have, some things bear repeating!

The Manifesto says, in part:

"We believe:
—that failure needn't be a negative thing; rather, we learn from our mistakes and fail smarter next time.
—in courage, in cartwheeling past our comfort zones and trying something a little bit scary every day.
—in subtle beauty, the kind that doesn't deteriorate with age or wear.
...and of all heroic pursuits large or small, we believe there may be none greater than a life well loved."

What more can I even add? Learning from mistakes? Definitely! Beauty that goes much further than skin deep? Oh, yes! And a life well loved? Indeed. Love wins!

Look. You'll find beauty.

Why, oh why is it so easy to get sucked into negativity? I can blame the news. I can blame others. But I need to come back to myself and ask why I can't focus more on the positive when there's so much beauty all around.

Because getting drawn into negativity is too easy, I really resonated with two things I read today in my Blue Mountain Arts Collection called A Daybook of Gratitude: How to Live Each Day with a Thankful Heart:

Ella Wheeler Wilcox writes this, "Look for something to be thankful and glad over each day, and you will find it. Consider each disappointment and trouble as so much experience and as a temporary lesson set for you to learn...."

Yes, oh yes!

And G. Allison Phelps wrote: "Just to look at the sun going down behind green hills; just to watch rain falling on a quiet lake; just to see spinning tops of sand, created by winds whirling over a desert; just to be able to imagine oneself upon a ship, docking at a pier in a strange and distant port; just to be able to touch the hand of another and feel oneself become a part of that other; just to breathe the evening air and hear the voices of children, raised in laughter; O! just to feel one is a part of all the scheme of things entire—such are the blessings humans have."

Really, there is nothing I can add to that.

'No feeling is final'

Bohemian-Austrian poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke said the following:

"Let everything happen to you
"Beauty and terror
"Just keep going
"No feeling is final."

Rilke penned many thoughtful poems, the lines of which provide us a good deal of inspiration and food for thought. This particular part of his work reminds me of things I have read that encourage us to enter into life, its play and its work, with all our heart and soul—and at the same time, to do so without any attachment to the outcome.

I hear Rilke saying to simply ride the waves of what comes to us in life and just keep going. Whatever we experience now will not last forever. Don't get hung up on what's happened today. Some days it's beauty. Some days, terror. Keep a balance.

His words make so much sense to me. However, that doesn't mean it's easy. I get as hung up on things as the next person. I get attached to outcomes. I forget to ride the waves and simply say, "It is what it is."

I would like to live that way more often, though. So Rilke's reminder is a good one for me. How about you?

Focus on beauty and compassion

Are you just coasting along, one day melting into the next, not depressed but not really excited about anything either? Sometimes we can get so overwhelmed by events in our lives or by the events in the world around us, both domestically and globally; and we simply want to revert to sleepwalking through our days. I completely understand that impulse and that desire.

But there's so much beauty and so much good all around. And life is too short to sleepwalk through our days.

Let's help one another to wake up—to notice things, to be open to wonder and awe and beauty. Listen for the bird songs in the morning. Notice the turning of the leaves—yes, already I see some signs. Don't miss the flaming color of those flowers still bravely blooming even after summer's heat.

And despite the noisy and angry rhetoric that overwhelms us these days, listen for those voices that speak calmly and lovingly, calling us to our best selves. Look for the stories of people responding to hatred with love and kindness. For example, I just read about a young man in line to pay for the gas he'd just filled into his car when the woman ahead in line hurled nasty insults at him after both her credit cards were refused. Instead of responding in kind, the man asked the cashier whether he could pay $20 of her bill! And yet another man in line said he'd pay the rest of her bill. Turned out, the angry woman had finally gotten a job but hadn't yet received a paycheck. She needed gas to get to work. She was overwhelmed with the kindness and apologized profusely.

As the man who paid $20 of the woman's bill said, "We never know what's going on in the lives of others." That's right; we don't.

Kindness. Compassion. Love. Beauty. Wonder. Why don't we focus on these things for a while?

Look for the beauty

I've been busy, along with my sister, tending to details of a loved one's medical condition. So it would be easy to miss the fact that these last many days have been incredibly gorgeous. Incredibly gorgeous for August. And just plain incredibly gorgeous—period!

Isn't it easy sometimes to get so caught up in the details of our lives, whether it's the ordinary, day-to-day routines or something extraordinary, and completely miss the wonder and the beauty that surround us?

When I awake in the morning, now with open windows and lovely cool air rather than with the hum of my air conditioner, I can hear birdsongs just outside my window. I love it. When I look up from eating my breakfast or my lunch, I can watch the hummingbirds come to my feeder to sip the sugar-water I've prepared for them.

And just a couple nights ago when we enjoyed a full moon, I awoke in the middle of the night to see it shining through my window where I had the top part of my window shade pulled down. Ah, yes, moon tracks on my bed and on my face. I have long felt drawn to the moon—so this, too, was a source of joy and wonder.

Let's try to pay attention to those small (and not so small) bits of beauty that are there for the savoring every day. It only takes noticing. It means lifting our eyes from the quotidian details of our lives. Pay attention!

You are beautiful!

Following up on last Friday's blog on self-esteem, I like what the authors say in Queen of Your Own Life: Grown-Up Woman's Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve:

"Wouldn't the ultimate gift to yourself be to believe that, no matter what your age, size or circumstances, you are beautiful and then go out into the world reflecting that feeling inside and out? ... Your laughter, struggles, courage and determination up until this point all combine to make a powerful source of energy within you that illuminates your face so that the world can see the remarkable story painted there."

Yes, authors Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff have it right. We each have a remarkable story, unique to us; and it's right there in our faces and in our bodies, too. These stories make us who we are—the tough things in our lives and the joyful moments, all of it. What a sense of energy we can draw from that.

No matter what size, weight, age, circumstances, IQ or any other type of measurement, you are beautiful. I am beautiful. For beauty is so much more than what society measures.

Remember that today. Stand tall. Be confident and happy just remembering this!

Miracles, gratitude and awe

So much seems crazy all around us these days—in our country and in our world. And so, as always, it's great to focus on gratitude and the wonders around us. I don't mean that we ignore and stop addressing what needs our attention. Rather, I invite you (and myself) to remember each day to look for the positives and be grateful.

That's why Monday morning when I picked up my copy of A Daybook of Gratitude: How to Live Each Day with a Thankful Heart and found this poem by Vickie M. Worsham, I read it several times. I want to share part of it with you now. It's called "Believe in Miracles."

"Every morning, wake with the awe of just being alive.
Each day, discover the magnificent, awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.
Amaze yourself, and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day."

There's more, but you get the idea. Awe. Embrace life. Potential. Your own specialness. Amaze yourself. Isn't this just rich with wonderful images and thoughts?

Let this be your focus today. Perhaps even make it your focus for the week. Or more!

The beauty in aging

As we age, it's so easy to look at the glass half empty rather than half full. We remember all the things we used to be able to do that we can't any longer. We think of how we used to look without the wrinkles, age spots and added weight. Or we bemoan the fact that we didn't attain the dreams we thought we might.

But how sad is that—to let yesterday steal today? No matter what we're facing at the moment, surely there are things that call us to gratitude and celebration. Even when we've lost some of our capabilities through aging, we've sharpened others. We have more experience now and that brings a wealth of perspective and insight.

The blessings are there, and we'll notice them more if we stop focusing on the burdens and losses. Take time to grieve those losses (small and large) that really matter to you. And then be ready to let go and move on so that you can pay more attention to the positives in your life.

Make a list of all those blessings and positives if that will help you notice them. Don't forget the small things—and the intangibles. Often those are the things we notice more as we age, perhaps because we have more time to smell the roses.

Savor and enjoy. Aging really can have a beauty all its own. It's all in the attitude!

Restore order and beauty

I like a neat, relatively clean house—although I'm not quite as fanatical about it as I used to be. Cleaning toilets and floors simply isn't the way I enjoy spending my time now. That said, I can't stand to live in a messy, dirty place either.

So when I read this recently in Melody Beattie's Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul, it gave me something to ponder:

"How often we think we don't want to be bothered with laundry, bills, dishes, the lawn. We have other things to do, more important tasks to accomplish on this journey we're on. ... The simple tasks are the microcosm of how our lives work. They keep us grounded in reality, they remind us of what's real, they show us how life works."

She ended with this thought: "Restore and maintain order around you, and you'll feel order in your soul. Create beauty around you, and you'll feel beauty in your soul. The magic will return. The simple tasks will lead you back to it."

Hmmm, perhaps I need to see ordinary tasks from a slightly different angle. This calls for a bit of reframing on my part. Now, please excuse me while I go clean my house and do the laundry.

Appreciate art & beauty

It's so easy to get caught up in the quotidian and mundane aspects of life, isn't it? Or worse even than the mundane and common parts of life are the negative and toxic pieces—hearing the offensive insults hurled by one politician to another, watching violent and graphic movies or TV shows, reading about yet another mass shooting or terrorist attack.

So what are you doing to counteract all the negativity or even the boring and commonplace?

Pablo Picasso famously said, "Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

I like that. What do you think? And, of course, art encompasses many things from music to paintings to photography to dance to theater to beautiful written and spoken words and more. Find something artful and lose yourself in it for a while. See whether that doesn't wash away the dust—or even clear away the toxins. Appreciate the beauty. Savor it. Let go of the mundane and the toxic.

The seasons of our lives

Where I live, it's that time of year when we're leaving summer behind (even though right now, it's still nearly 90 degrees) and moving toward autumn. Already I've seen some leaves that are changing color. I love the fall season, the somewhat cooler air, the disappearance of mosquitoes (!), and the beautiful color of leaves and other foliage. So I'm not complaining.

As the seasons change, though, it's always a reminder to me of the seasons of my life, too. Perhaps I think about it more these days because I've entered that autumn season and know that winter is ahead. I've already enjoyed my spring and summer seasons—and am left with many wonderful memories of those.

For so long I've loved the beauty of spring (everything coming alive), summer (flowers blooming) and autumn (the brilliant yellows, oranges and reds of trees and bushes)—but haven't been particularly fond of winter's beauty. My attitude is different now, however, and I see winter has its own particular beauty—not just when the landscape is covered in sparkling white snow but also when the trees have dropped their flaming leaves and are left with muted shades of rust.

I suspect my change in attitude has to do with where I am in life. I now appreciate the muted shades, the subdued colors of trees and bushes in winter. This is because, when I look at women older than I am, I see such beauty. I see grace and wisdom and composure. I see serenity, and I see women comfortable in their own skin. I see authenticity and openness. And this is an invitation to me to embrace all those qualities myself—and when the time comes, to move into that final season with joy and gratitude.

No matter which season you're in, think about what it means to you—and what's needed as you look ahead to the next one. It's time well spent.

Pay attention to beauty

I talk a lot on these blogs about living in gratitude, about savoring the moments of our days. Most of us lead active and busy lives, so that's not an easy thing to do, is it? We get on a roll with our activities and just keep moving from one task to the other, perhaps even grumbling as we go. Sound familiar?

I know what it takes for me to try live in gratitude—even part of the time. I need to just stop my train of thought, stop my frantic activity and pay attention. Pay attention, even if just momentarily, to the wonderful smell of my morning coffee. To its delicious hazelnut taste (yes, that's one of my favorite flavors, and, yes, I'm a flavored-coffee aficionado—about which my fiance teases me, saying it's not real coffee). Pay attention to the play of sunlight on the prisms of glass in my window. Pay attention and really listen to the music on the CD I have playing. Pay attention to the photos of my nine precious grandchildren scattered around the house—and really think about the special times I enjoy with them. Pay attention to all the other special people in my life and what blessings they are.

When I stop the Sonia-with-a-too-highly-developed-work-ethic and really look at and listen to the wonder and beauty all around me, I am grateful. My heart is overflowing. And then I can resume my activities with a very different frame of mind. Then I can access the Sonia-who-savors-life-and-its-blessings. Both of those Sonias are there. I just need to stop the one occasionally to let the other one out!

Walking in beauty

Turn on the news—you'll hear lots of negativity as stories of murder and mayhem unfold. Listen to everyday conversations in your workplace or in the mall—you'll hear lots of complaints and negativity. Plenty of times we hear it coming from our own mouths, too. Right?

So the other day when I came across what's called the Navajo "Beauty Way Prayer," I was enchanted. I like this a lot. I like its focus on beauty, for truly we are surrounded by lots of beauty. What we see often depends on where our focus is. So why not focus on beauty?

There are a few variations on this prayer, but they're all fairly similar:

"Today may I walk out in beauty.
"With beauty may I walk.
"With beauty before me, may I walk.
"With beauty behind me, may I walk.
"With beauty above me, may I walk.
"With beauty below me, may I walk.
"With beauty around me, may I walk.
"It is finished in beauty.
"It is finished in beauty."

Look for the gifts

So this week we finally got snow in the Chicago area. Not that I was anxious for it. I wasn't. I could live quite happily without ever experiencing it again, thank you.

Having said that, however, I do admit it was lovely to look out at the landscape all frosted with white. Picture pretty. Not quite so pretty to drive in it, though.

And here's the deal: Along with the snow we also got stunningly beautiful sunshine. We hadn't seen the sun much at all in December, so this is a real treat. In the mornings I just stand transfixed at my east window watching the sun stream in and seeing the street, driveways and trees blanketed in a light coat of snow. And, oh, the sight of cardinals in the frosted trees—yes, beautiful!

However, we got something else with the sunshine and snow: very cold weather.

So was this change in weather good? Or bad? Like so much of life, it contained a bit of each—at least from my perspective. It was a reminder to me that inside some of the things in life I don't much like to face or experience lies a gift of some type: a new learning, the support of friends, or perhaps even a brand new friend I hadn't known before. Sometimes it might even end up bringing a change to my life that's a good change.

Look for the gifts. You never know where they'll appear.

It's all in my focus

Yesterday afternoon, after several gloomy days without sunshine, the sun broke through. What a treat.

As I saw the sunshine stream through my windows, I noticed places on the windowpane where my attempts at cleaning were imperfect—smears here and there. And I noticed dust on my furniture that hadn't been noticeable when the sun wasn't shining.

Instead of dropping everything to re-do the windows and dust my furniture, I decided to simply enjoy the lovely sunshine streaming into my rooms. I continued what I was doing, stopping every now and then to look up and simply soak in the beauty of sunshine.

In the past I would have been more inclined to focus on what I hadn't done well and I would have missed the beauty. I think this is one of the bonuses of growing older—letting go of some things that seemed so important to me years ago and focusing on the beauty that's right there in from of me. Now I can be more present in the moment.

I can't do anything about all I've missed through the years by focusing so tightly on what I needed to get done. But I can surely begin to focus my awareness now on what's right here right now—the beauty right in front of me.